OlegV

Yep, he would be recruited to the russian army at age 17. You could play hooky for a while (for 8 years!) - like by breaking your legs, harming yourself with chemicals and so on. But if they find you, there is a good chance you’ll join the ‘the oily war against terror’ in Chechnya. When I served 2 years in the russian army (fortunately not in Afghanistan) we had a guy who had severe birth defect in his heart. They still kicked his ass calling him weak bastard. Glad the guy didn’t die after all of this. The bottom line, the kid growing up here, will be harassed and physically humiliated in the army to the stage when he doesn’t want to live anymore...

He got 'good' 17-18-year old friends, nearly drop-outs. My wife now has the part time job plus Alex's shcool job, so she can keep an eye on him. He goes to Tigard High, and it sucks!!! Moving is an option, but he'll find the right dudes anywhere we go. It happened before. What's exchange program???

You think we didn't try this? My wife is an ultrarunner, used to take him and my yonger son to volunte at the races. Volunteer are great people and usually there is the whole bunch of them and you see they are doing this job from the bottom of their hearts. I always felt Alex was doing this just to please us. He worked at the local library, not sure it cranked up his spirit.

[quote Take him on a trip to ...volunteer at a prosthetics lab... I am seriously considering to take him to a trip to Tibet, for several months. You know, doing trekking, living simple. Not sure if there is a potential for jobs there.

Thanks, I'll look into this. We checked many outdoor programs. They cost up to $10K/3 months!!!!!!!!! As, for the car, I can see a potential for troubles

Yes, he's been to mother Russia a few times. He feels strong bonds with his grandparents, but he'd never live there. For him, it's a foreign country. You have the point though - having tons of relatives nearby helps!

I agree

Does this program exist? It is an idea.

We moved to the PNW from NYC a couple of years ago with the idea that things would go better for all of us. I had this weird image, that great outdoor should cure our relationship. Instead, we are now buried in the deep Portland suburbia with majority people not interested in anything but mowing their grass. I can see, how one’s world could shrink.

We are not strict parents and he has freedom of choice - we'd sponsor anything he wants (but stupid stuff). So far, it's rock music (probably because his friends are interested in it). He has 2 guitars sitting in his room, a potential guitar teacher and tons of lyrics - hasn't been touched yet. How do you approach a kid whose world is narrowing in front of your eyes? And I am not a pessimist in my nature (I wouldn't climb the mountain if I was).

Ahh, it all sounds good on the paper. In the real world of raising a teen boy, you have to be a machine devoided of your own pride and personality. I agree with Winter - we looked into various outdoor programs. They are super-$ (4,000/months!!!!).

Probably both.

We'll hear, noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

Positive reinforcement. Not sure if it works, if there is nothing to reinforce.

We've been to a school chancellor. She thinks, it is our dual culture (Russian/US) makes his adjustment hard. He moved here when he was 2. Reminds me one of my Chinese friends whose parents used to make his everyday school sandwich out of T-bone stake.

Have you thought about a psychiatrist r.e depression? I don't believe in depression as a disease. Each depression has some objective background - the pills don't eliminate the real reason of unhappiness.

We lived in New York City for 10 years. Getto

It seems he doesn't need much money or anything at all. Just, as you said, he wants to be left alone in his room. Scary. The main problem though is not just the lack of interests and poor grades, but never ending lies.

Then you could soon be a grandfather!

I completely agree with you, Norman. I often feel in the middle of the game 'pulling the rope'. The other side always wins. MEDIA... To tell you the truth, I thought of taking a big sacrifice (or adventure) and leaving the mainstream world - moving to the remote part of Alaska and living on your own resources in complete isolation. You don’t need a time machine.

Thanks, Alex just turned 15. I hope, this is just a shithead phase not his character for the rest of his life. There are plenty of examples, kids never grow out of this phase.

Hope, I might get some valuable advice here, ‘cause we, climbers is the breed of the twisted-minded, brilliant and the most inspired people in the world. The story is about my son, who is growing to be pain in the butt. The kid is a troublemaker, yet, he is smart, he is capable, he has a potential for anything in the world. He has the wrong raw models – you know the kind of kids who are unmotivated, lazy and whose parents gave up on them. He is trying to be popular in the wrong way. My wife and I are very active physically and mentally – no matter what happens, we keep going, we often away from home – many say you guys don’t spend enough time with kids. I say - baloney! We do more than many other ‘conventional’ parents do: how many parents take their kids on real adventures – because they are too obese and unmotivated themselves? Alex has seen anything in his life: jungles, underwater caves full of sharks, mountains, videogames, telescopes, music, plenty of TV, foreign countries. Yet, he is growing to be a jerk. Oh yes, he doesn’t know what the real hard work is. I hate to see him growing up as a weak, selfish and uninteresting person. Just like average teens in this country. Here I ask a simple question, how do you start changing this? Feel free to give me a craaap, brothers!

Roger, I was with the party of 3 people: 1 guy with skis 2 guys in snowshoes I was the guy in the blue jacket Oleg

Rojer, I was with the party of 3 people: 1 guy with skis 2 guys in snowshoes I was the guy in the blue jacket Oleg