JGowans

Shit! I hoped no-one would resurrect this post. I watched it live on the box. Scotland is once again relegated to the position of also ran. Thanks Faust!

S'alright. I know the difference between an aged feline and...

Any TR forthcoming yet?

When my little borther came over to visit me in Seattle, we went to the Catwalk and he picked up a black chick that reminded me of Sinead O'conner...skinhead and weird as shit. I always wondered what it would be like to be with a ....skinhead chick.

It was a weird weekend quite honestly. I didn't get the buttons back and the next morning / afternoon I woke up, I had some pink drink shit all over my shirt. It came out though. After a few Gin & Tonics, well a few swigs of the bottle really, we went to breakfast, had a couple of bloody mary's and then went to play blackjack. I won $600 but the crazy thing was that our dealer was this 54 year old granny who wanted to show me and my buddies her new improved boobs!

A sphincter says what?

I was staying in NY NY a few weeks ago for a bachelor party. We all went to Coyote Ugly. During the evening there, some chick ripped the buttons off my shirt and started sucking my nipples on the dancefloor. She wasn't the best looker in the place and it actually hurt. I felt kinda violated if truth be told.

OMFG! Like, that was just insanely funny dude. You should like go on the circuit with your comical routine and light up your name in neon. So, I said to him, "you're so not funny" and he was all like "Go hump a dawg dude" and I was all like "OMFG dude! That is just the craziest shiz I've heard since CatBirdSeat told us about his strangest day ever" and then I was all like lying on the floor laughing and stuff. Too kewl for words really. That Sphincter is a hoot a minute. I'm so going to check him out at the Comedy Underground.

Hey, that's not bad! It only took you 3 hours to come up with that riposte. Either your internet connection is slow, or your brain is fried from compulsively reading the "Natty One-Liner Put-Down Book" by ever so clever folks like Dennis Miller on sale at Barnes & Noble.

DON'T OPEN THIS IN FRONT OF YOUR CO-WORKERS OR IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE NUDITY. http://www.cascadeclimbers.com/plab/data/503/3015dragonsnipeyike-med.jpg

you promise?

Does the guy doing the pulling look familiar? Tha'ts Vinny Jones...once a hardman of the soccer world now in films like Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

That was Eric Cantona (a Frenchman) when he played for Manchester United. He got pissed off at the fans taking the piss out of him so he did a big fucking karate kick on one of the hecklers. He got banned for quite a few games for that one. Great player though.

Tru dat. MNF is the best sport on the telly in the U.S. IMHO. Soccer isn't girly though...

Hey dipshit, the rest of the world calls it FOOTBALL...get with the fucking program! (soccer)

Rugby is a hooligans game played by gentlemen. Soccer is a gentlemens game played by hooligans. Actually, rugby's good, but there's too much ball grabbing for my liking.

Forgot to mention, I'm actually a Dundee United fan and when we play against the Glasgow teams (Celtic or Rangers), we sing songs that take the piss out of them (their supporters) being poor. One Shoe You've only got one shoe You've only got one shoe You've only got one shoe (to the melody of Blue Moon) ^^^^^^^^^^^ In yer Glasgow slums You rake in the bins for something to eat You find a dead rat and you think it's a treat In yer Glasgow slums ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Away the lads Ya shoulda seen us coming We're all here to drink the beer And shag the fucking wimmin All the lads and lassies shoulda be delighted Walking down the Provie road to see Dundee United You see how creative we get with our songs? A lot better than "D-Fense!" if you ask me.

For all you football (Euro style) lovers and haters, the champions of Scotland (Celtic F.C.) take on Porto of Portugal today in the final of the UEFA cup (a major European tournament). The game is live on the telly at 11.45am on Fox Sports World. It'll soon be time to start drinking! Come on ye Celtic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haha!!! That'd be awesome! However, I get drug tested for my green card so it's a non-starter. I've been judiciously keeping the body clean of late. Btw, out of curiosity, how long does ganja stay in the system? What about blow? Just curious...

No, I don't mean draw unemployment. I mean that per my agreement with my company, I have a clause whereby I'll receive 1 week of severance pay for every year I've been with the firm. That's 6 weeks of salary. I can only get it though if they lay me off as opposed to firing me for performace reasons.

I was joking about the $4.75 an hour. I'm a salaried pup doing alright for myself. If they get tired of me though, could this not be construed as performance related and instead fire me? I want my severance damnit! We're talking about enough cash to finance several trips to Deja Vu and the fall Rope-Up in L'Worth with a cooler full of beer.

Is a common rider a prostitute or just someone that shags around and has no airs and graces, in other words, a commoner?

But what about the severance? I want my cake and to eat it too man!

I keep my snake tucked away safely inside my boxers. I know this was a lame reposte bordering on infantile humor but someone would have said it sooner or later and it may as well be me.