JGowans

Ian, your hallway reference is lost on me I'm afraid. I shall have to consult my willy. Willies are aid.

No, it's Friday. I get giddy on Fridays. I once got called to the race track cos they didn't have enough steeplechase barriers and they instead used my willy. Willies are aid.

OLAP Solutions: Building Multi-Dimensional Information Systems. Boring geek book. I'll bet I've enriched all of you now eh?

I once hung a towel from my willy. Willies are aid.

Three piece Scott poles. One of the sections is stuck like a mofo. WD-40 ain't loosening it. I'm pissed off. Any suggestions on how to pry that thing loose?

My thoughts exactly. However, could this be a red herring?

How true. Life can be so cruel sometimes.

Call you for what? "Ehmm, Erik? Yeah, it's me the Scotsman. What's that? Oh no, the poison ivy rash cleared up in a jiffy. I think she's going to have to deal with it a little longer though. The skin's more sensitive down there apparently. Anyway, how’s the wife and kids? Is that beeatch still saying they’re yours? Yeah, we know better than that though don’t we. I mean, the dope took care of the testosterone long ago eh? So, anyway, there’s this super hot Euro chick at the rock here, and I was wondering since I’m such a loser, if you wouldn’t mind coming out to exit 38, and impress her on my behalf. Bring a full rack and a keg. We’ll have you lead trad on a bolted 5.9 next to her. I’ll sit at the bottom and tap the keg. That should do it eh? Did I forget anything? Oh, what’s that? The vital stats? Well, let’s just say that she’s at least 50 times better than anything I ‘ve seen you hit on at pub club unsuccessfully. No worries mate. See you in a bit.”

Au contraire my friend. Rather it was she who could not stop looking at me! (mainly because it was amusing to see me flailing all over the rock like the sap that I am).

Well, I like to think of myself as being consituted of unconnected distinct parts. Hence, discrete. Also, this term can also be construed as being part of every day Greek colloquialism analagous to the common everyday English term "cretan." Whereas, they use the term interchangably with "discrete" such that "So, I walk into a bar last week and discrete gets in my face wanting to talk about mathematical terms and shit. So, I down my bottle of ouzo, grab it by the neck and whack discrete over the noggin. That'll teach that fucker to question my use of the language."

Well, what about the lass that wanted to come "climbing" with you. Hmm?

I knew someone would appreciate me being so discrete. Thank you.

Damn, I wish I had a more obscure avatar. I could then tell you how there was quite a few hot chicas at the rock last night and then launch into some story about erections, accents, ropes, getting it up, pumping, topping out and all manner of innuendos and double entendres. However, since that's not the case, I'll leave that passage (ooh err) alone and to someone else for them to have their wicked way. I won't even begin to tell you about the babe that took down CBS' digits for fear of reprisals

Sad sad sad. It's sad that folks with enough dough can go but that doesn't make it wrong - only fodder for which to cast an envious glance. I doubt anyone on this board would pass up the opportunity to climb Everest via any route including the "trade route." Do your colleagues care that you've done some sick stuff in the Cascades that they've never heard of or are they more impressed with you going up DC on Rainier? I think the latter. On a far grander scale, the same goes for Everest. It still stands as the ultimate adventurous conquest to most laypersons and therefore the ultimate epitaph. That's what we all seek in the end isn't it? A fitting epitaph? We want to be loved and adored n'est pas? "I wanna be adored" - Stone Roses.

Ass Machine Get Down

Whoa! I just got up and logged on to the computer today. Needless to say, I'm hungover. What a great start to my 30-s. Pretty much the way I started my twenties actually. Thanks for the birthday wishes.

It's my birthday today - 30 no less. Anyway, me and a bunch of hot wimmin are going to be at Pesos in Queen Anne around 9pm. Show up if you want. Not the typical pub club pub but the chicks like it.

I've been a good boy and stayed at work all day. It's now time to get legless. I turned 30 today and also got word of my official green card interview in June. Life is good. If you're in Queen Anne and want to meet loadsa other Euros (some hot wimmin) PM me for party details.

well, he has a broken wrist jsut now but i'm sure that'll be cleared up quickly enough. i guess we'll wait and see if Real Madrid can come up with a crazy offer for him.

Not so Ian. This is an important time for both clubs. They bring their star players over to prepare for the new season...they try new tactics, field new players and generally use the pre-season tour to get in shape and help the players bond as a team. The game might not be played in the manner that you see during the regular season with cleats and elbows flying but you'll see the top players out there guaranteed.

Yeah I have mine. I can probably squeeze a few more as well if anyone's looking. /j

Just got back from boozing it up. Met an old chica friend on a bachelorette party. They went to PolyEsthers. I hate that fucking place but I may got there just to check the wimmin out for a little while. They were pretty enamoured with the accent. Heading down to smelLA this weekend to be a best man in a wedding. Wrote a speech much like the retarded rich guy in 4 Weddings and a Funeral. Basically it makes no fucking sense and it's all inappropriate and in bad taste. Nice one! This week has been taking a toll on me in the beer stakes. Was supposed to meet Eric last night at a pub but instead had a work thing, drank as much free beer as possible, then went home and pressed the self destruct button with more booze. Girlfriend took care of me. The little lost lamb that's hungover like a little beeatch still works wonder in the sympathy stakes. Ok, nightclubs and women in short skirts is calling my name. Have a good weekend my American brethern! ON!

Cheers granny

Just wanna point out that although I've never heard of the fella, as he has matured in years, it's a shame his views haven't matured too. It's like my granny thinking it's still ok to call Asians chinkies or all black people darkies. That might have been ok 50 years ago, but public opinion has evolved immensly since then. The laws of our land reflect the shift in public acceptability too. Just cos he's 82 doesn't mean he's right. The old coffin dodger should get on with it and stop thieving the oxygen from the rest of us.

Yes, Deco played well. I thought Larsson up front for Celtic was immense...always a danger. The cards picked up in the first half came back to haunt Celtic. Hey Faust, I was just letting off a bit of steam. I'm the asshole...not you