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Szyjakowski

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Everything posted by Szyjakowski

  1. Email from my friend: These are (or so I'm told) actual signs from the Federal Terrorist Preparedness website - http://www.ready.gov (The captions have been added for clarification.) If you have set yourself on fire, do not run If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud. If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder If your building collapses, give yourself a blowjob while waiting to be rescued. If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor. Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you! The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand. Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot someone with dead eyes and no nose, run the fuck away. Hurricanes, penguins, dead fish, and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it. Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically. If a door is closed, karate chop it open. If irradiated, try to absorb as much of it as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you will become sterile! After exposure to radiation you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head. If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit. -- If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell. If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting. -- A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation. disclaimer: I didn't write these captions as I have much work to do at work.
  2. no her name is iwanda handa...from iraq or something
  3. i told u: its the media stupid! not u trask.
  4. Erik is always spraying about all his girl climbing friends and i thought u were one of them and then I read u saying ur hooked up now...oh my, i am sooo confused now.....not that it really matters as I am usually in some sort of state of denial. Soon it time for and (porkchops) at Eriks house and i hope he'll set me straight or better yet well get really, i am bored of geology work right now..................one hour left.....but, its already 4:20here!
  5. just how many girlies does Erik have anywayS?!?
  6. now i totally did not need to see that..
  7. can't you see him up on Snafflehound ledge?
  8. isn't it true the biggest and baddest snafflehound lives on Prusik Peak?
  9. erik you can forget me coming over for porkchops, this hombre does not play those games. Sicko!
  10. stolen foot fangs...what about the stolen climbing holds?? and the stolen A&P notes, book, etc. do i remember a trade.... like drury, pc next year, if i can stay away from jonny law
  11. Erik you loser....quit working and spray..... guess you should just give in to your spraymentor iain
  12. i didn't know ari was a horn dog like clinton
  13. RAGE Against the MACHINE: "FUCK YOU! I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!...."
  14. well said mattp but, I am not a sheep...i am a wolf. This war is definitely for the wrong reasons....yet, it is here just like the Homeland security crap aka. BIG BROTHER...this scares me much more than the war against terrorism or iraq. A war with n.korea would be bad...but anyway, the propaganda that is being flung in our faces hides the truth and the facts that american politicians are fukin black widows looking to lure a mate in and then kill! Big Brother was first coined by (i think) orwell but, it was a dream of a group of men led by rockefeller and morgan back in the early 1900's when they met up and decided how the future should look: The Creature from Jekyll Island should explain most of this...I still intend on reading it myself. good book I hope some of you now realize that clinton wasn't a bad president....he just was too horny and like many of us, thought too much with the wrong head.
  15. Spotted Snake Eel Myrichthys maculosus
  16. yeah, and like atty's work....they only steal.
  17. if only the crocodile hunter posted here....
  18. i like it when they climb on me
  19. all this war talk made me remember a very funny movie.....and some great lines..... Cronauer: Remember the people who brought you Korea! That's right! The U.S. Army. If it's being done correctly here or abroad, it's probably NOT being done by the Army. Funny voice: I heard that! Cronauer: Oh-ho! You're here! Good to see you! Funny voice: I'm here to make sure you don't say anything controversial. Cronauer: Speaking of things controversial, is it true there's a marijuana problem here in Vietnam? Funny voice: NO, it's not a problem, everybody HAS it. and.... Cronauer: Now, here's the weather, we're going to go right to Roosevelt E. Roosevelt. Roosevelt, how's it goin'? Funny voice: Adrian, I'm with somebody! Don't ever come here and bother me right now! Cronauer: Well thanks, Roosevelt. Can't you give us a little weather? Funny voice: Not now, man! I'm on the balcony, man, I'm tryin' to score! Back off!! Cronauer: Well, what's the weather like? Funny voice: You got a window? OPEN IT! Cronauer: Thank you, Roosevelt! We'll just have to go to someone else for the weather. I guess we'll have to go all the way to Washington, Weather Central, with Walter Cronkite. Walter, what's the weather like? Fake Walter Cronkite voice: I just want to begin by saying to Roosevelt E. Roosevelt...what it is, what it shall be, what it was. Weather out there today is hot and shitty, with continued hot and shitty in the afternoon. Tomorrow, a chance of continued crappy weather, pissy weather, front coming down from the north. Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass..... and... SGM Dickerson: I run this station according to strict guidelines set by military intelligence. General: Military Intelligence...now there's a contradiction in terms. and.... Cronauer (to SGM Dickerson): You're in more dire need of a blow job than any white man in history! ...even more than CLINTON and.... Cronauer (with funny voices mixed in): What is a demilitarized zone? Sounds like something out of the Wizard of Oz. Oh No! Don't go in there! O-WEE-O! Ho-chih-minh! Oh look! You've landed in Saigon! You're among the little people now! We represent the ARVN army, the ARVN army! Oh No! Follow the Ho-chih-minh trail! Follow the Ho-chih-minh trail! Oh I'll get you my pretty! Oh my God! It's the wicked witch of the north! It's Hanoi Hannah! Now little G.I.! You and your little toto too! Ah-hahahahaha!! and... You absolutely have to be in the military to fully appreciate the humor in this one...verrrry funny! Cronauer : Excuse me sir. Seeing as how the VP is such a VIP, shouldn't we keep the PC on the QT, because if it leaks to the VC, you could end up an MIA, and then we'd all be put on KP. and... Cronauer: Hello campers! Remember, Monday is malaria day! That's right! Time to take that big orange pill and get ready for the Ho-Chih-Minh two-step and... Robin Williams as Adrian Cronauer... "The Mississippi broke through a protective dike today... what is.. what is a protective dike? Is it a large woman standing by the river going (in burly voice) "Don't go near there!" But Betty! "Don't go near there...get away from the river! Stay away from there!" I know we can't use the word dyke, we can't even say lesbian...it's Women in comfortable shoes, thank you very much! and....my personal favorite.... Funny voice:Enemy....we're not even sure what the enemy looks like....... REMEMBER THIS: Cronauer: What is a demilitarized zone? if need be to here the sound bytes click have a nice afternoon folks!
  20. THAT WAS A GREAT MOVIE>>>>DR STRANGELOVE for those who haven't seen it.....Stanley Kubrick i believe.
  21. u should fly...its faster and just a little bit more expensive then driving. Although, I always drive anywayS.
  22. Yeah gore aint pres to start with. Maybe gas prices will be down to 58 cents after the war. It sucks people have to die for war but it's better than that bastard getting nukes - seems like France is hot to assist the guy. My guess is the dirty war will commence soon. I hope they use those psuedo nukes right away to deter them bastards form using NBC on us. Looks like the ball is going to start rolling soon. MY best wishes and safety to all the people in harms way and just shoot then ask questions as long as you know they are Iraqis. i forget...didn't u go the first time???
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