Dave_Schuldt

> >Flight Attendant's speech > > > > > > > >This is hilarious.... You have got to read this if > you don't ever read > >anything else. This flight attendant should be on > stage somewhere. > > > >Check THIS out -- wouldn't you love to have this > attendant on your next > >flight? Thanks to a retired Delta Captain for > sending this "paraphrase" of > >a > >memorable safety PA from their Flight Attendants. > In his own words.... > > > >"I was flying to San Francisco from Seattle this > weekend, and the flight > >attendant reading the flight safety information had > the whole plane looking > >at each other like "what the heck?" (Getting > Seattle people to look at each > >other is an accomplishment.) So once we got > airborne, I took out my laptop > >and typed up what she said so I wouldn't forget. > I've left out a few parts > >I > >m sure, but this is most of it." > > > >Before takeoff... Hello and welcome to Alaska > Flight 438 to San Francisco. > >If you're going to San Francisco, you're in the > right place. If you're not > >going to San Francisco, you're about to have a > really long evening. We'd > >like to tell you now about some important safety > features of this aircraft. > >The most important safety feature we have aboard > this plane is... The > >Flight > >Attendants. Please look at one now. There are 5 > exits aboard this plane: 2 > >at the front, 2 over the wings, and one out the > plane's rear end. If u're > >seated in one of the exit rows, please do not store > your bags by your feet. > >That would be a really bad idea. Please take a > moment and look around and > >find the nearest exit. > > > >Count the rows of seats between you and the exit. > In the event that the > >need > >arises to find one, trust me, you'll be glad you > did. (This is excellent > >advice, and something I always do.) We have pretty > blinking lights on the > >floor that will blink in the direction of the > exits. White ones along the > >normal rows, and pretty red ones at the exit rows. > In the event of a loss > >of > >cabin pressure these baggy things will drop down > over your head. You stick > >it over your nose and mouth like the flight > attendant is doing now. The bag > >won't inflate, but there's oxygen there, promise. > If you are sitting next > >to > >a small child, or someone who > >is acting like a small child, please do us all a > favor and put on your mask > >first. If you are traveling with two or more > children, please take a moment > >now to decide which one is your favorite. Help that > one-first, and then > >work > >your way down. > > > > > > > >In the seat pocket in front of you is a pamphlet > about the safety features > >of this plane. I usually use it as a fan when I'm > having my own personal > >summer. It makes a very good fan. It also has > pretty pictures. Please take > >it out and play with it now. > > > >Please take a moment now to make sure your seat > belts are fastened low and > >tight about your waist. To fasten the belt, insert > the metal tab into the > >buckle. To release, it's a pulley thing -- not a > pushy thing like your car > >because you're in an airplane -- HELLO!! > > > >There is no smoking in the cabin on this flight. > There is also no smoking > >in > >the lavatories. If we see smoke coming from the > lavatories, we will assume > >you are on fire and put you out. This is a free > service we provide. There > >are two smoking sections on this flight, one > outside each wing exit. We do > >have a movie in the smoking sections tonight ... > hold on, let me check what > >it is .... Oh here it is; the movie tonight is Gone > with the Wind. > > > >In a moment we will be turning off the cabin > lights, and it's going to get > >really dark, really fast. If you're afraid of the > dark, now would be a good > >time to reach up and press the yellow button. The > yellow button turns on > >your reading light. Please don't press the orange > button unless you > >absolutely have to. The orange button is your seat > ejection button. > > > >We're glad to have you with us on board this > flight. Thank you for choosing > >Alaska Air, and giving us your business and your > money. If there's anything > >we can do to make you more comfortable, please > don't hesitate to ask. > > > >If you all weren't strapped down you would have > given me a standing > >ovation, > >wouldn't you? > > > >After landing... > > > > > > > >Welcome to the San Francisco International Airport. > Sorry about the bumpy > >landing. It's not the captain's fault. It's not the > copilot's fault. It's > >the Asphalt. Please remain seated until the plane > is parked at the gate. At > >no time in history has a passenger beaten a plane > to the gate. So please > >don > >t even try. > > > >Please be careful opening the overhead bins because > "shift happens." > > > > > > > >

That sucks....hope you can find something better, like spraying on cc.com on company time.....

Thanks for the link, verry nice. SAD BUT TRUE.

Wait till it cools down, or you will roast. Dinky climbs with awsome views of the sound and Lopez Island. Would be happy to go up there when it cools down. On a sunny day you can climb there througout the winter.

STARBUCKS = CHARBUCKS. Did anyone see the Seattles' Best Coffee ad with thier cup in focus in the forground and a Starbucks cup out of focus in the backround with the slogan "Overcome bitterness"?

I HAVE CAMPED AT THE END OF ICICLE ROAD WITH NO TROUBLE. FROM THE TRASH IT LOOK SOMEWHAT USED. SHOULD BE OK.

I was a mesenger here in Seattle for 3 years.

TOO BAD I WILL BE ON VACATION www.cmwc03.com

SHURE HER NAME WASN'T LOLA (KINKS SONG)

http://bringthemhomenow.org/ SPRAY ON SUCKERS!!!!!

I've told lumox he needs some new drugs, 'cause the ones he's on suck. Looks like he didn't take my advice or he found worse ones. YOU SUCK, LOOOOOOOOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS POST SHOULD BE DELETED!!!! AND THE AVATAR BANNED!!!!

FUN FUN FUN CHECK IT OUT!!!!

ANOTHER SLAM Ken- Thank you for your article on the Road Bike riders (roadies) in Seattle. While I don't own a road bike, I have been mountain biking for almost 15 years. I know it's difficult for people such as yourself (more specifically, old, stubborn, depressed, no news worthy story holding aging feeble minded elderly men) to do anything but complain, but it might be worth it to try and dedicate what little life you have left towards enriching other's lives or sharing positive experiences. Heck, once in a while I wouldn't mind seeing a few roadies get hit by a truck like an armadillo crossing a highway in Texas. However, that attitude usually doesn't endure, and I usually conclude such brief moments of spiteful insanity with a compassionate love tap on my brake pedal to allow a roadie to cross in front of my SUV & live to die another day. In the year that has passed since you "first complained" of those "Dang Bicyclists", what other actions have you taken to reach a resolution? Have you volunteered time to educate riders on how to exercise proper etiquette while riding in the city and on sidewalks, or do you just make snide remarks under your breath as the pass by? Have you offered any assistance to community programs to help educate riders on how to be safe instead of sorry? I'm sorry, what was your answer? Speak up please, it's hard to hear an elder statesman mumbling through his lips trying to defend a seemingly pointless point of view. If your unsure of the definition of the word "volunteer", please pick up a copy of Webster's at a local bookstore. My guess is you haven't had a chance to take such helpful measures, which would be a pretty accurate guess since I am involved in such activities and I haven't seen you around any of them. Thank you for your time and I apologize if this email is a bit harsh, and based on your attitude in your commentary, I'd say we're even. Not all bikers are roadies and not all texan's are cowboys. I thank Lance Armstrong for the insipiration and motivation to see that roadies are people too.

This is a letter some dude from the local mountain bike club wrote after I posted the link on the list serve Ken, They're still out there. Still running sentences together; still scattering grammar to the wind; still cutting phrases off in abrupt blurts; still ignoring the laws of common English. Yep, those damn illiterate editorialists are still out there. Do you write these things on the toilet? Do you have a laptop in your car that you use to pound out three-word phrases in-between traffic lights? Or do? You talk? Like this? In real life? It's quite enough that you subject the KOMO audience to idiotic rants on the most banal and trite of subjects (golly, I've never seen motorists do dangerous things when cops aren't around), but you go that extra mile by presenting them with the oratory skills of a two-year-old. Jeez, it's not like I'm expecting New York Times Op-Ed here, but I'm sure you guys have a grammar book lying around there somewhere. Do you work for Fisher Communications or Fisher Price? Definitely not a fan, Kelly from Seattle

AFTER ALOMOST 20 YEARS OF RIDING, 3 OF THEM AS A MESENGER IN SEATTLE, THESE OBSERVATIONS ARE RIGHT ON THE MONEY

Yo Ken HE IS AND IDIOT, IGNORE HIM. I was thinking of writing a nasty letter, but said fuck it, it would just inflate his ego.

Ok, it looks like it wont be too hot for slabs this weekend. Looking for partner Sat or Sun with Sat being the better day. Haven't been climbing much so I can't lead the hard stuff. MT biking is my new thing thes summer. I have been both places many times. I live in Seattle and don't drive. Have rack and ropes.

I think Becks' coment was resonable. If you don't like it then don't show. What the fuck is wrong with that???? Alison is a crybaby. Fine, keep your buzzkill in Seattle that weekend. I am not shure how the the whole thing will go down but I am shure I will have a good time no mater how it's organised. Hold off on your comments untill it's over, then we can decide what was cool and what sucked. If you don't like this one go to Smith or organize another one for later in the month.

Holy shit, what did your kid get himself into???

Don't waste your time, it's full of fat RVers with fat ugly kids. A CLASIC TOURIST TRAP!!!! This is industrial cheese folks, who cares. Spend your time at the beach instead. Don't forget the whole coast is public land.

http://www.doonesbury.com/strip/dailydose/index.html?uc_full_date=20030817

Just bringing this to the top.

http://www.doonesbury.com/strip/dailydose/index.html?uc_full_date=20030817

Listen, dumbshits, I have never been or will ever be a mountie.