Beck

you think that's a cool story, groundfall-crater? I think it's FUCKING LAME... [This message has been edited by Beck (edited 08-31-2001).]

Jman , that shit is great!!! Where the F____ do you get these pictures? Teddy's been cheating on me, hasn't he? He said he wasn't going to go for any more of those snafflehounds and here he is at some Tux n tails celebrity ball with a snafflehound escort! That bastard, he's lucky I'm still his lifelong climbing bitch, he doesn,t realize how great he's got it with me. I want that one for the article- I'll be trying to send it out for consideration in some of the April Fools issues.

Nope, I'm definetly not sleeping with the rep! Dudes, I'm joking, someone placed my nose in some rep's ass so I just needed to save some face. ..although I did used to fantasize about me and one of the Seattle store managers taking a long trip with a bottle of coconut oil... she gave me a free hat once and I got some free strech WB pants they make that have performed very well. I paid full retail for it, didn't want to wait for a pro deal connection I get cause it isn't till spring when we get pro deal on Patagonia.

sounds to me like you have a greater than passing interest in the subject, the rock? I know a great B&D B&B I can put you up in next time you're here in the big city. Teddy'n'me are heading off for three days of ski mountaineering with a bottle of coconut oil and the BD Luvshack for some "rock climbing"- but don't worry, we'll be carrying plenty of "protection"- more adventures to follow on Tuesday, hope you all can wait!

yeah, cavey, there're always tring to get the guys that can drink the most to be the designated drunk driver. Did you like the technobabes in the liquid latex?

Ski mountaineering on Mount Hinman and Daniel.

...Teddy slowly pendulums to a halt, scraping against the rock. "Good thing that coconut oil makes this less like shaving with a belt sander and more like having a Geisha in a Kimono walk up and down your back!" he says sheepishly in that vain climber's attempt to minimize the fall they've just taken. "Teddy, you bastard. You nearly pulled the belay anchors right out of their cracks, man! You son of a bitch!" I really laid into him for a couple of minutes. Little did he know the sight of him with the snafflehound had been one of the most erotic things I'd ever encountered. I briefly thought about life as Teddy's Snafflehound bitch. Kinky. "Well, let's forget about all that, and go back to climbing. Sorry about ripping into you like that. " I call out to him in apology. Teddy "harumphs" and begins to reclimb the rock to the next belay ledge. "Off belay." followed a second later by "Belay on." Gosh, he was fast. What a climbing stud. I holler "Climbing" I climb on relatively difficult ledges and laybacks to get up to the belay stances. In the last 20 feet I begin to notice a fine misting that turns heavier the closer I get but it stops abruptly just before I reach the ledge. As I get to the ledge I see teddy chugging the last of the water! " Teddy, what's happening with the weather. It was just raining a minute ago." "No, wasn't any rain up here. I was taking a leak a minute ago." He smacks his lips in satisfaction."Boy, like a racehorse after the trough!" He had been pissing on his climbing partner. Little did he know it caused me a strange thrill that felt akin to seeing the teacher's panties during dictation...

earplugs and a some perscription painkillers

Jman that ROCKS! dude. Thanks. new eppisode shortly...

Damn! That's a bummer, maybe the Fall Ropeup will be at Tumwater CG

What's the best way in to LaBohn gap? is it Necklace valley or Dutch Miller trail from Snoq?

For you guys that have been up there already, is there any unburnt bouldering/climbing in the immediate vincinity of Bridge Creek?

Actually, the rep's name is Rachel and my nose is surgically implanted about three inches in front of her ass, dudes! Relly, go try one one. You'll lust after it like a castaway for the Swedish Bikini Team

Well, check out "Teddy R. in the danger Zone" for questions about teddy's and my "protection " issues. On Scholler fabrics, this shit rocks! I disagree about the durability issue on this fabric, it's a real brush buster fabric. I've got various incantaions of Scholler in pants from TNF, Moonstone, Bertram Mann and an MEC coat and can say this shit is tough as nails and hella comfortable. You can buy pants for as little as 25 dollars if you sniff around for the deals. I have some of the Metolius winter weight pants like yours, pen, double fabric seat and reinforced knees. they are quite unlike Shoeller fabric. Scholler really comes into it's own in the Alpine environment and snow cold conditions. I use this stuff all winter long on ski patrol at Mount Rainier and only had to pull the shell on twice- It is much more wind resistant and snow shedding than any pile, velour, or speciality fabric out there. In addition, you stay very dry and comfortable, no feeling like a sweaty armpit at the steam room. Usually I would come down off the mountain and would be completely dry after a hard day of patrolling, everyone else would be wet on the insides of their shells and getting chilled while I relaxed in total dry comfort. I just picked up a new Patagonia jacket called the Dimension that is Scholler on steroids, gorilla skin tough shit. You can buy a Scholler type wool blend stretch woven available at Seattle Fabrics, 20 bucks a yard, you could sew a coat for 80 bucks and time.

Dudes and dudettes, the new soft shell Dimension jacket is THE BOMB! I just bought one- this shit is Scholler Dryskin on steroids! We're talking gorilla skin tough !@#@#! it is friggin unbelievable- buy yours now, a lot of times the really good stuff dissapears after one season, like the Marmot Forraker jacket- made entirely out of the abrasion patch cloth, lasted one season as a product because they didn't sell the target numbers. The Patagonia Dimension jacket, ultra burly 7oz fabric double strength stretch woven with helmet friendly hood, long tail, drawstring waist, it will change the way you look at jackets. BUY NOW!

Look to the master himself, Beckey, for fine examples of route candy made of sacharine dreams- "Some exposed scrambling" "destined to become a classic" "moderately loose rock" "8 hours" I believe beta to be only a guideline to help you decide, not the map you choose to get to the top.

We're going down to Daniel/Hinman caps this weekend if you want to come along and check it out. Check out Kololo Peaks region for persistant snow, Wapata Icefields in Canada but I don't know any climbing - best check with the canooks on that one.

That bitch was STIFFLER"S MOTHER? Man, good thing Teddy Ruxpin wasn't around or she would have had an amorous ursine suitor on her tail all night long!

... Teddy drops the snafflehound when he finally notices my presence on the ledge. I'm pissed and sore so I scrape some verglas out of a crack and nurse my nips with it as Teddy leads the next pitch. He's climbing around a corner an a minor buttress and calling out "slack.More slack" as he climbs out of sight. I'm feeding him a bunch of line and the next thing you know he's traversing wildly on a ledge 80 feet above, in fast pursuit of the snafflehound he was just friggin a few minutes ago. She's got this look of sheer terror with Teddy fast on her tail. It seems she had climbed HIGHER on the rock to escape her amorous suitor and Teddy must've spotted her on the other side of the buttress. I notice he's failed to place any protection on the traverse when all of a sudden Teddy's paw slips off the ledge and he takes a HUGE ripper and nearly pulls me off the belay ledge, anchors,cordelette and all- the whole enchilada. He's lucky I'm still his climbing bitch...

Talked to Artie, the matronly campground host at eight mile CG on the phone today. I'm going to pay her the lucre for Bridge Creek CG on Saturday and scope the site proper post inferno. So,IT'S A GO FOR THE FALL ROPEUP SEPT 28-29-30!!!! Be there or be bummed!

MSR gave me a set of Blacklites last year, I don't think the coating is very durable but you can burn noodles to the bottom and cleanup with a scrap of TP- A reservation I have on using the Ti pots is a lot of this Ti metal we're seeing in outdoor gear is surplus Russian Ti shit that gets melted down, I'd be worried about the alloy content of the Titanium cause you're not getting JUST Titanium, I wouldn't want to be drinking or cooking in a pot made of Cesium or Stronium. Maybe it's an unrealistic fear, I don't know. Expensonium,though, that's a different alloy and sees to invade most climbing gear, you see it it clothing now, too. I reccomend sticking with the aluminium pots, they say it doesn't cause alzihimer's now and the British Bulldog pots are the absolute best and most pack friendly shape out there, buy Bulldogs if you can get them!

Dru, you coming to Bellingham next Friday for some Elsinores and a round of BEERHUNTER! , then a quick rasher of back bacon in the AM before some climbing stateside?

...|Teddy's reply stunned me so badly I drop the stitch plate and nearly fall off the belay ledge! "Wow, Teddy, that never occurred to me! I'll look into it when we get back to town." Teddy continued to climb out of sight. "Teddy, ten feet!" Teddy stops pulling rope thru the sticht, then hollers down a minute later. "Belay On!" "Climbing." I clean the route as I climb up to him and grab the rest of the rack and we switch leads. The next couple pitches go well, till on one pitch I'm noticing I've got a lot of rope slack. "Teddy. Up Rope, dude. you're giving me a big whip factor if I peel." I get no response and no change in the rope. "Teddy. Up Rope!" I holler once more. No response other than some muffled groans from above. Well, needless to say, I took a thirty foot fall and popped a couple chocks out of the rock until the rope FINALLY goes taut. There's no longer second than the one you spend waiting for the rope to catch you, isn't there? Well, my helmet took most of the hit so I was okay but I took a huge hit in my Kevlar Falsies that tweaked my nips and chafed them raw from all the abrasion. Boy did that smart, and I was pissed. I climb furiously back up to Teddy. To top it all off, when I reach the belay ledge and mantleshelf onto it I see Teddy's got this snafflehound and he's BUGGERING her like the salesman in the barn with the farmer's daughter! He's got this huge grin and half closed eyes in such a state of sexual frenzy. The snafflehound had this expression of half terror, half pleasure as he's doing her from behind. The sight left me with a strange tingling in my nether regions...

writing it as I go along! Just some typical stream of conciousness writing a la Burroughs or Kerouac,albiet poorer.

... Well, dwayner, at least your were able to stomach a beer this morning! I woke up with a prehangover drunk and found my date had left and I was stuck with Teddy Ruxpin! Then I spent part of my bike commute this morning dry heaving into some bushes in a vain attempt to shake off last night's TRULY ENJOYABLE Pub Club. I'm glad to see such stellar examples of vertically challenged types showing up. You go, Holly Climber! Rightous trip report, Ehmmic! All you guys cluster around,EddieE and MattP, i could see the wheels burning skid marks on the existential fabric of life, keep living large!Dwayner, we've got to stop meeting like this! just kidding! And to all the rest of you, grand to spend an evening in such fine company. As for my little run in with the tatooed medusa I thought was my friend, she obviously has some issues to go bitch slapping me like that- only in the bedroom, please! Once again , thanks to all, it wouldn't be as much fun without you! [This message has been edited by Beck (edited 08-29-2001).]