PrincessWookie Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 Hey, does anyone eat these? Miracle Noodles No cooking even! May be good to take on some trips. I'm hungry now.... Quote
Coldfinger Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 Careful you don't offend the Pastafarians here..... Quote
keenwesh Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 probably made of celluose/cardboard. won't make you fat, but also will give you zero nutrition. tried to find info on "Glucomannan" but it's all rave reviews from supplement websites, as in they can write anything they want to. I'm taking a biotech class and we've been working on making gluten free bread that isn't just straight celluose and actually has some nutrition. I'll ask my prof about trying to do the same thing with noodles. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go eat some deep fried shitty college food. nom nom nom. Quote
PrincessWookie Posted February 25, 2012 Author Posted February 25, 2012 probably made of celluose/cardboard. won't make you fat, but also will give you zero nutrition. tried to find info on "Glucomannan" but it's all rave reviews from supplement websites, as in they can write anything they want to. I'm taking a biotech class and we've been working on making gluten free bread that isn't just straight celluose and actually has some nutrition. I'll ask my prof about trying to do the same thing with noodles. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go eat some deep fried shitty college food. nom nom nom. What's wrong with cardboard??? Well, FIGHTER DIET PAULINE NORDIN has them in HER daily menus (she eats between 2 - 3,000 Kcals/day), and she can kick your ass, buddy!! Actually, she is WAY more ripped now than she was in the video. [video:youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZirG6jOnhE&list=UUaTY-7HubY4FKgvSrnUTbgQ&index=12&feature=plcp OK you eat your shitty college food...and it you'll excuse ME, I'm packin' my noodles and super duper hydrolyzed whey isolate with it's all it's ß -lactoglobulin, alpha-lactalbumin, bovine serum albumin (BSA), and immunoglobulins (Ig) to the WEIGHT DUNGEON. LEG DAY BABY!! Quote
keenwesh Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 good for her. A diet high in lysine and omega-3's would have made her even more "ripped". "wonder foods" like this are usually full of hot air. Try it, but I wouldn't put all my faith in just eating these mystery noodles. Quote
keenwesh Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 and what's wrong with cardboard? well, number one, it's cardboard. there isn't any nutritional value in it. It just passes right through you and isn't digested in the slightest. If you were a fungus you might be able to chew it up a bit, but then you would be a fungus. Quote
Mtguide Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 You dont exactly have to be a fungus to utilize plain cellulose. Milk cows, for example, can actually make milk out of things like old shredded wrapping paper and newspaper, but not cardboard because of the glues. While not too many dairies actually feed their cows like that(well at least,for all we know)many dairy cattle are regularly fed silage, which is simply the leftover gleanings and stubble/straw from cut-over hayfields. Usually harvested in the fall well after the last cutting of hay, and before fall rains begin, its well dried out, and has very little concentrated nutrition. Its stored in vertical round silos, or some just use long trenches up to eight or 10 feet deep, and covered with heavy tarps or black plastic. Alfalfa fields actually can provide pretty good nutritive silage, but grass hays such as timothy and fescue are mostly just fiber/cellulose. Nonetheless its a major winter feed for dairy cows in the western states, and some feed it to beef cattle as well in tight times.Pretty amazing what the dairy cows can do with not much. Quote
keenwesh Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 You dont exactly have to be a fungus to utilize plain cellulose. Milk cows, for example, can actually make milk out of things like old shredded wrapping paper and newspaper, but not cardboard because of the glues. While not too many dairies actually feed their cows like that(well at least,for all we know)many dairy cattle are regularly fed silage, which is simply the leftover gleanings and stubble/straw from cut-over hayfields. Usually harvested in the fall well after the last cutting of hay, and before fall rains begin, its well dried out, and has very little concentrated nutrition. Its stored in vertical round silos, or some just use long trenches up to eight or 10 feet deep, and covered with heavy tarps or black plastic. Alfalfa fields actually can provide pretty good nutritive silage, but grass hays such as timothy and fescue are mostly just fiber/cellulose. Nonetheless its a major winter feed for dairy cows in the western states, and some feed it to beef cattle as well in tight times.Pretty amazing what the dairy cows can do with not much. thats because cows have bacteria in their gut that can break cellulose down. which we do not have. A interesting experiment would be to clean out the lower GI tract of a human with antibiotics, get a stool sample from a cow, create a slurry of cowshit, and insert it into the colon. If it repopulated enough and somehow didn't kill the person when a virulent strain of e coli popped up that person could theoretically process cardboard. Or we could just stop putting cardboard in our foods. Quote
Coldfinger Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 A interesting experiment would be to clean out the lower GI tract of a human with antibiotics, get a stool sample from a cow, create a slurry of cowshit, and insert it into the colon. Guess we'll put you down for the insertion/insemination, any takers? Quote
keenwesh Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 A interesting experiment would be to clean out the lower GI tract of a human with antibiotics, get a stool sample from a cow, create a slurry of cowshit, and insert it into the colon. Guess we'll put you down for the insertion/insemination, any takers? My anus is doing fine currently, with all this crummy food service though it might start acting up. Only time can tell. It's the same technique that doctors use to treat C. diff or chronic diarrhea/gastric distress. A family member or other close relative provides a stool sample to re-inoculate your asshole and get everything running smoothly. It is remarkably effective. Another interesting factoid, people who have a appendix have a much lower instance of GI tract problems after antibiotic runs. It appears that the appendix is a place for gut fauna to be held in reserve. After a traumatic event like the mass murder of all life forms in the intestines the survivors in the appendix can flow out and repopulate. Quote
Crux Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 A interesting experiment would be to clean out the lower GI tract of a human with antibiotics, get a stool sample from a cow, create a slurry of cowshit, and insert it into the colon. If it repopulated enough and somehow didn't kill the person when a virulent strain of e coli popped up that person could theoretically... Holy shit, you just described a winning candidate for the Republican nominee to be President! Quote
Coldfinger Posted February 25, 2012 Posted February 25, 2012 Actually Keenwesh, since you've moved to Montana..... Down here it's sheep, heard it's steers in Montana, just sayin' you might have sampled the local culture, in a medical sense. College is about experimentation, heard that's how it's done in Bozeman. That's all. Quote
keenwesh Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 (edited) yeah my highschool bio teacher asked me how much I'd been using my velcro gloves when I got lunch with him over christmas break. How'd the montanian find the sheep in the tall grass? Very much to his liking. A man from Texas and a Montana man were driving along when all of a sudden the Texas man slams on the brakes. There was a sheep with her head stuck in the fence and the Texas man said "We Texans never pass up an opportunity like this!" And he gets out and has his way with the sheep. Then he says to the Montana man, "Your turn"... And the Montana man bends over and sticks his head in the fence. Edited February 26, 2012 by keenwesh Quote
PrincessWookie Posted February 26, 2012 Author Posted February 26, 2012 good for her. A diet high in lysine and omega-3's would have made her even more "ripped". "wonder foods" like this are usually full of hot air. Try it, but I wouldn't put all my faith in just eating these mystery noodles. Right on! Yeh.... I mislead you, but this is "spray." I'm really not one of those folks that look for an easy way (I've been training for 22 years, am a personal fitness trainer on the side, and aiming for an NPC show this Nov the Ironman in Snoqualmie--it takes good old fashioned dedication, discipline, commitment, tracking, and focus). There are NO magic pills and no quick fixes, of course. Have you seen her now? Simply Shredded Pauline (FighterDIet) She's ripped! She actually does have tons of lysine and omega 3's....lots of fish, Fish oil, cod liver, yogurt, tuna as well as BCAA's and flax, some nuts, etc. But I'm really not serious about "miracle noodles." It's really not a "wonder" food that will magically melt fat off your body of course. It's fine for a little filler if a person wants it and something different. The Japanese have eating them for centuries, so can't be too bad. I eat 5-7 pounds of veggies a day so I plenty stay full. For obese people who have problems with constantly eating for emotional reason, these noodles it may help them to reduce caloric intake keeping them fuller longer. I don't know tho... Plus, they're expensive! That's cool about biochem, keenwash. Are you planning on med school? Nutritionist? Quote
Mtguide Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Hey Keenwesh, An old buddy of mine named Greg Keeler lives in Missoula and teaches at the u of Montana. Gregs a fine poet and songwriter and did an album some years back called "Songs of Fishing, Sheep and Guns in Montana", which I bet youd enjoy. Very funny stuff. Nice sketch on the cover of a cowboy sitting in the bar with his arm around his sheep, whisky bottles and shot glasses, etc. Not sure if its still in print, first came out in cassette, not sure if he's ever done a CD. Quote
keenwesh Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 biotech. I can't stand chemistry. I can do it, it's just so dreary and uninteresting. I'll leave that shit to other people. I'm not sure yet what I'll end up doing with it, once I graduate I'll be able to eitehr go to med school, grad school, or work as a underling in some lab slaving away mindlessly. (or say fuck school and live out of my car/move back in with the 'rents). I'll google that album, sounds like my kind of humor, raunchy with liberal doses of beastiality thrown in for good measure. Quote
PrincessWookie Posted February 26, 2012 Author Posted February 26, 2012 ..or what about Garrison? You related to him? Quote
sobo Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 This guy, who's been hosting the weekly variety/comedy show A Prairie Home Companion on NPR stations for eons: Garrison Keillor at Wikipedia I listen to his show every week that I'm near a radio. Lefty the Cowboy; Guy Noir, Private I; The News from Lake Wobegon... all good stuff. Quote
keenwesh Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 oh garrison keillor, this was a question for mtguide. whoops My dad originated in the midwest, so I've been listening to prairie home companion for as long as I can remember. Quote
PrincessWookie Posted February 26, 2012 Author Posted February 26, 2012 Wha?? There's more than one way to spell Keeler/keillor. Garrison spells his name odd. I reckon I'm not the biggest PHC fan, but I do listen to the show. Thanks Sobo for posting! Man, I never knew what he looked like...I'm kinda sad I do now. Well, Garrison ain't no "telemarker" that's for sure! Quote
PrincessWookie Posted February 26, 2012 Author Posted February 26, 2012 So... I actually saw they sold these Miracle Noodles in Interior Alaska and of course I had I HAD to try them. I discovered why they're called Miracle... It's a miracle anyone would buy these AGAIN! They're disgusting...like eating long chewy maggots. Bleh.... I added them to a bowl of portobello mushroom/spinach saute with green onions and also added some left over bison/black bean poppy seed burgers from last night. Like keenwash said--no nutritional value in the noodles.... and no taste! you gotta be an eating machine to want to eat these. Quote
sobo Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Well, Garrison ain't no "telemarker" that's for sure!Garrison, telemarker, sobo... we're all ruggedly handsome in our advanced chronologies... Quote
SeldonCrisis Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Wait Wait Don't Tell Me Prairie Home Companion These noodles I bet you have to add so much sauce, meat, and other edibles of sustenance that it removes the eating-nothing qualities that people are seeking from these fake noodles. Quote
sobo Posted February 26, 2012 Posted February 26, 2012 Miracle Noodles: They're disgusting... like eating long chewy maggots. Quote
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