allthumbs Posted October 6, 2002 Posted October 6, 2002 I was traveling between Moses Lake and Spokane the other day when a tire blew out. Checking my spare, I found that it too was flat. My only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town. The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a van. He yelled out the window, "Need a lift ?" "Yes, I sure do," I replied. "You a Democrat or Republican," asked the old man. "Republican ," I replied. "Well, you can just go to Hell ," yelled the old man as he sped off. Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked me the same question. Again, I gave the same answer, "Republican ." The driver gave me the finger and drove off. I thought it over and decided that maybe I should change my strategy, since this area seemed to be overly political and there appeared to be few Republicans. The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde. She smiled seductively and asked if I was a Democrat or Republican. "Democrat!", I shouted. "Hop in!", replied the blonde. Driving down the road, I couldn't help but stare at the gorgeous woman in the seat next to me, the wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts, and a short skirt that continued to ride higher and higher on her thighs. Finally, I yelled, "Please stop the car." She immediately slammed on the brakes and as soon as the car stopped, I jumped out. "What's the matter?", she asked. "I can't take it anymore," I replied. "I've only been a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to screw somebody. [ 10-05-2002, 05:55 PM: Message edited by: trask ] Quote
Rick_Sharpless Posted October 7, 2002 Posted October 7, 2002 How to Tell Republicans from Democrats: Democrats buy the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group. Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabagas produced in this country. Democrats throw the remainder in the trash. Republicans usually don't wear hats. Democrats do, but they're called baseball caps. Republicans give their worn-out clothes to those less fortunate. Democrats wear theirs. Republicans employ exterminators. Democrats step on the bugs. Democrats name their children after currently-popular sports figures, politicians, or entertainers. Republican children are named after their parents or grandparents, according to where the money is. Democrats try to cut down on smoking but are not successful. Republicans are limited by import restrictions on Cuban cigars. Republicans tend to keep their curtains drawn, although there is seldom any reason why they should. Democrats ought to pull down their shades, but don't. Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper. Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage. Ugly stuff along the highway has been approved by Democratic politicans. Republicians don't notice the lack of scenery from the back of the limo. Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmatians and eyebrows. Democrats raise hell, kids and taxes. Democrats eat the fish they catch. Republicans hang them on the wall. Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel that they're entitled to a little fun first. Democrats make plans and then do something else. Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made. Republicans sleep in twin beds - some even in separate rooms. That is why there are more Democrats. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Source: From a document submitted and published in the Congressional Record 1974 by Representative Craig Hosmer [R-California] Quote
johnny_destiny Posted October 10, 2002 Posted October 10, 2002 Oh ye of little faith. Democrats or Republicans what does it matter as long as we follow God's plan for each and everyone of us. JD Quote
Fence_Sitter Posted October 11, 2002 Posted October 11, 2002 tis true johnny....god cares not whether we are dems or republicans... he only asks that we follow him... but i think you are trollin... but i hear that the best troll bait is either global warming or pre-eptive strike on iraq... hope ya catch a keeper!... Quote
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