Joke for MattP

[allthumbs]

An unnamed Seattle lawyer sent gifts to many of his clients. The gifts were sleeves of golf balls, suitably inscribed with the donor lawyer's name.

 

One of the recipients sent an e-mail of thanks back to the lawyer saying, ...

 

"That's the first time I've ever had a lawyer buy the balls.”

[Dru]

How can you identify the planes of an Italian airline?

 

Hair under the wings

[allthumbs]

Trask: How the hell can ya be so stupid?

Dru: Well, it ain't somethin' yew can pick up overnight.

[freeclimb9]

Marshal Matt Dillon is seated on the porch of the jail with his chair propped against the front wall. As he looks down the main street he sees Chester driving a buckboard hell bent for leather and he's buck naked. Chester pulls up in front of the jail, dismounts and loops the traces over the hitching post and enters the jail. Marshal Dillon follows and says "Chester, what in tarnation are you doing driving a buckboard down the main street of Dodge on a Sunday afternoon naked as a jay bird?" Chester answers "Well, it's thisa way Mr. Dillon. This morning I was having a cup of coffee over at the Longbranch. And Miss Kitty asks me iffen I wanted to go on a picnic. I told her I would as I hadn't been on a picnic since I was a young'un. She told me to get a buckboard and she'd fix up a picnic basket. I did and she did. We went out to that nice, grassy spot under that big tree by the bend of the river. You know where that is Mr. Dillon?" Matt replied he did and Chester continued. "Miss Kitty laid down a blanket and we had our lunch. Fried chicken and tater salad and cool lemonade. When we were through, Miss Kitty put everything back into the basket. Then she tooken off all her clothes and laid down on the blanket. Then she said Chester, take offen all your clothes. So I did, then she said Chester, go to town! and well, Mr. Dillon, here I am."