Cristy

[allthumbs]

There was this Norwegian farmer, Ole, from Wisconsin, and he is going to Minnesota to buy a cow at a sale. Ole gets to Minnesota and buys the nicest looking cow there and takes it home.

 

Getting ready to milk it, Ole grabs a hold of the teats, pulls, and the cow farts. Ole thinks to himself, "Uffda, oh what da heck," and he grabs a hold of the teats, pulls once more and the cow farts again.

 

At this point, in walks his Swedish neighbor, Sven. Eyeing Ole's new cow, Sven asks could he try milking it as it sure looks like a good milk cow. Ole replies with a "yah", and Sven grabs a hold, pulls on the cow's teats and the cow farts.

 

Sven looks at Ole and says, "Yah buy dis cow in Minnesota?"

Ole says, "Yah, I did, but I never told ya dat. How'd ya know I bought da cow in Minnesota?"

 

Sven says, "My wife, Cristy, is from Minnesota."

[sk]

Good trying trask... I almost laughed

[allthumbs]

Wazzamatter wit chu SK? You don't like Sven and Ole jokes?

[carolyn]

It seems that Ole was sitting in a bar with his best friend, Sven. "I chust don't know," Ole complained. "I come home and Lena don't have my dinner ready. Seems to me a man ought to be able to have a hot meal when he comes from work. It ain't right, you know."

 

"Oh," Sven said, "I had a problem like that. I would come home and the house would be messy. I told my wife, "From now on, I expect the house to be clean when I get home!"

 

"And vot happened?" Ole inquired.

 

"The first day, I didn't see anything. The second day I didn't see anything. The third day, I see that the house is clean as a whistle."

 

"Wow! Chust like that!?"

 

"Yeah, just like that. I wear the pants in my family."

 

"By golly, I vill try that myself!" exclaimed Ole.

 

A couple of weeks later Ole runs into Sven, and Sven says, "So what happened, Ole? Did you tell your wife you expected dinner on the table when you get home?"

 

"You betcha," said Ole. "Chust like you said. I told her what's what."

 

"So what happened?" Sven asked.

 

"Oh, pretty much like with you. The first day, I come home, I don't see nothin'. The second day, I come home, I don't see nothin'. The third day, I come home, I can maybe see just a little bit out of my left eye."

[sk]

Now that was funny

[carolyn]

eh, being from Minnesota, i git all da good sven and ole jokes!

 

[ 06-24-2002, 11:26 PM: Message edited by: carolyn ]

[carolyn]

Here's another...

 

Brrrring! The phone rings at FBI Headquarters. "Hello?"

 

"My name is Sven and I'm calling to report on my neighbor Ole Olson. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."

 

"Thank you very much for the call sir, we'll look into it." says the agent taking Sven's call.

 

The next day FBI agents descend on Ole's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They apologize to Ole and leave.

 

Later that evening, the phone rings at Ole's house. "Hey Ole, dis is Sven, did the FBI come?"

 

"Ya!"

 

"Did they chop your firewood?"

 

"Ya sure."

 

"Good, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."

[Dru]

why did the homeboy get a tuxedo after his vasectomy?

 

"Hell, bro, if Ise gonna be impo'tent Ise wanna look impo'tent!!"