allthumbs Posted March 17, 2002 Share Posted March 17, 2002 An Irish wife was having a shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards, she slipped over and did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband. 'Paddy! Paddy!' she yelled.Paddy came running in. 'Paddy I've suctioned myself to the floor,' she said. 'Ohhh nooo! Paddy said and tried to pull her up. 'You're just too heavy, love. I'll go across the road and get Shamus.' Paddy comes back with Shamus and they both tried to pull her up. 'Nope, I can't do it,' Shamus said, 'Let's try plan C.' 'Plan C?' exclaimed Paddy. 'What's that?' 'I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we will break the tiles under her.' 'Oh okay,' Paddy said. 'While you're doing that I'll stay here and play with her tits.' 'Play with her tits?' Shamus said. 'Why would you do that? This is hardly the time.' Paddy replied, 'Well, I figure if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive to replace.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sobo Posted March 17, 2002 Share Posted March 17, 2002 HA! Just too good. Probably sounds even better told with a thick Irish br-r-r-r-rogue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordop Posted March 22, 2002 Share Posted March 22, 2002 (edited) . Edited June 15, 2021 by jordop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allthumbs Posted March 23, 2002 Author Share Posted March 23, 2002 An old couple was sitting on the porch in their rockers, when the wife took her cane and hit him on the head as hard as she could. After he got over the stun he asked,"What was that for?" "That's for all the bad sex you've been giving me over the years", she replied. After a while the husband took his cane and hit her so hard it knocked her completely out of the chair. As she got back in the chair and gathered herself she asked,"Now what was that for?" He replied, "For knowing the difference." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sobo Posted March 23, 2002 Share Posted March 23, 2002 Three women are in the waiting room of the OB-Gyn's office: a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The Brunette announces quietly to the others, "I'm going to have a girl, because when my husband and I were doin' it, he was on top." They giggle amongst themselves. The Redhead announces to the others, "I'm going to have a boy, because when my husband and I were doin' it, he was on the bottom." They giggle amongst themselves, except the Blonde, who begins to cry. "What's the matter?" ask the Brunette and the Readhead. The Blonde, between tears and sobs, manages to stammer out, "That means we're going to have puppies!" [ 03-22-2002: Message edited by: sobo ] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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