[TR] Rocky Mountain Region - Lumpy Ridge - South P

[Plaidman]

Trip: Rocky Mountain Region - Lumpy Ridge - South Platte - Wolf's Tooth

 

Date: 8/16/2008

 

Trip Report:

Force Feeding The Rat - Pain Is Not An Option Tour 2008

 

What would you say if your climbing partner called you and said “If you can get the time off work I will pay for half your plane fare and cover most of your expenses to climb with me in Colorado?” It took me all of two seconds to say yes. Then I started thinking what it would take to get it done. He also added that I needed to lose as much weight as possible. My target was 15 pounds. It would be doable in a two-month time frame. I had just got custody of my twelve-year-old son and needed to find a suitable place for him to stay for four days. I did not even care what we climbed. I was hankering for Colorado granite. My partner informed me that the name of the tour was going to be the Force Feeding The Rat Pain Is Not An Option Tour 2008. We planned on climbing Cynical Pinnacle, The Center route 5.9+. It’s three pitches. He offered to let me have the on-sight lead of the first and third pitch. I agreed. He would get the second pitch, which is the crux. Then for the second day we would go to Estes Park at Lumpy Ridge to climb Conan’s Gonads 5.9 and the Wolf’s Tooth 5.8. I had my eye on the Wolf’s Tooth for 2 years. I had scouted out the approach up the Roosting Ramp on Twin Owls and the walk off descending the Bowels of the Owls. The Bowels was all frozen and full of ice and snow when I looked at it. But I had a good idea that it was a good way off the climb. I was psyched. The third day was a toss up. We talked about doing Spearhead in Rocky Mountain National Park. I was thinking maybe the North Ridge Route 5.6, but my partner had the Sickle 5.9 in mind. I was not anticipating a good time on an alpine route after a 6-mile hike at 10,000 ft above sea level. The climb tops out at around 13,000 ft. To say the least I was intimidated as I now live at 30 ft. above sea level. After talking the route through and the logistics of the area we decided against Spearhead. We already had an ambitious plan. To top the four days of climbing we were lining out, we decide that Vedauwoo, Wyoming (the land of off width climbing) would be the best way to shove as much food down the Rat’s gullet. The Rat is that creature that lives in the belly of most climbers. Maybe not all but most climbers have this inner adversary. I know my Rat well. It is he that chews on my insides and says really insensitive things like. You’re not really a climber. What have you done recently? Why do you have all that really cool gear? You aren’t really going to get to the level you are shooting for. This incessant chatter and gnawing really is awful in the winter and in those years that you have used all your vacation time up. I have even climbed in the rain to get the Rat off my back. Well now the Rat was going to be fed. And the Rat was ecstatic, the scarier and harder the better as far as the Rat was concerned. But we were planning to punish the Rat.

The Rat is not an original idea. I was introduced to the concept by the book authored by Al Alvarez. The book is the biography of Mo Anthoine. Very inspiring and puts a name to the drive that makes me want to climb.

Now I needed to get training and prepare mentally. On my part I planned on climbing in the rock climbing gym at least three times a week and only do laps on the finger and hand jam cracks at the gym and climb outside as much as possible. I started with my usual 100 pushups a day and 400 crunches. I started building up my pull-ups again also. It seems that if I don’t keep doing pull-ups I lose the ability. I was disgusted at only doing 3 without my arms exploding. My goal was to get up to 50 a day. I only got up to 35. The Rat laughed at me. The one exercise that I think has been the greatest contributor to my stamina when traditional technical lead climbing are rolling planks. The exercise goes like this. Start with a standard plank and hold that position for one minute. Then after one minute roll from both elbows to one side into the side plank position and hold that for one minute, after that roll to the other elbow for another minute, for a grand total of three minutes. I also add flexing moves and stretching with the free arm when I am in the side plank position. I visualize making stemming moves and holding positions while placing gear on lead. If I am really feeling badass then I raise my leg while in the side plank, which helps with balance and building stemming stamina.

I have something I say to myself to keep me going when I train to climb. I ask “Did you bring it to the Mountain?” Because the Mountain does not care whether you did bring it or if you did not bring what was needed. The Mountain doesn’t care if you can climb it or whether you do climb it. If you don’t bring what it is going to take to get the climb done, it may be your last climb. The Mountain does not care that you are or what you have done in the past. It is up to you and whether you have prepared and done your part. The summit is only half way and you need to bring enough stamina and mental sharpness to get down and back home.

I love this poem of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s

“Cast the bantling on the rocks,

Suckle him on the she-wolfs teat

Wintered with the hawk and fox,

Power and speed be hands and feet.”

This poem is the opening to Emerson’s essay Self Reliance. To me it is a climber’s poem.

It reminds me that if it is going to get done I must prepare and be willing to train with a vengeance, discipline and thoughtfulness. Thinking through what is reasonable and prudent. And above all else have fun doing it. Even when it hurts. It is kind of fun just see if you can do it. Like losing the weight for the trip. I lost 15 pounds. I made the goal and was feeling great.

This trip was the trip of a lifetime, with not just any climbing partner. This was a climbing extravaganza with my mentor, my coach, and my friend. Like Morpheus in the Matrix offered Neo the red pill or the blue pill. He gave Neo the choice. Take the blue pill and go back to life as you knew it before or take the red pill and I will show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Of course I took the red pill and the Rat was born.

We made a deal that if I climbed with him wherever he wanted to climb when he wanted to climb that he would train me to be a trad lead climber. I jumped at the opportunity. I weighed 215 pounds when I met him. I am now at 175 pounds and in the best shape of my life. I used to think round was a shape. I am now more rectangular. A better shape I think.

Within two years I was leading 5.9 and on-sighting 5.8 solidly. Now I am on-sighting 5.9. I am just starting to move on to 5.10a routes. What a privilege.

We needed to decide on when to do this trip. Based on our best thinking with school starting for my son, the weather patterns in Colorado and the weight I had to lose. My partner said pick a date. We chose the forth weekend in August. So it was on “Force Feed The Rat. Pain Is Not An Option Tour 2008”.

I was worried about several things. One going from sea level to 8000 ft and climbing 5.9 and 5.8 off width would maybe be difficult. My partner had told me he was climbing real hard and moving through climbs like a climbing machine. I’ve seen him climb like that. For me it means I have to make 3 moves to his one as he has a reach from him being 6 inches taller than I am. I call this his version of aid climbing. I have threatened that he should have to touch every placement with his elbow before he can use it. It’s only fair.

I am not complaining, or am I? Hmmm.

I prepared myself for these challenges mentally and physically. I used to work at 9000 ft. above sea level for 6 ½ years building log homes in Grand Lake Colorado. Swinging 16 pound sledge hammers driving spikes through logs for up to three days at a time. Hand peeling logs with a drawknife and chopping the knots off with a double bitted ax. Running chainsaws daily on ladders 15 to 20 feet off the ground. So I mentally told myself that that kind of training might have enlarged my heart to be able to metabolize oxygen more efficiently. I almost believed that. I took the best action I could physically. I got out and on sight led a moderate 5.7 multi-pitch climb to make sure I had the head for placing gear. That went well. I also had gained the summit of Mt. Hood earlier in the year. 11,265 ft. In preparations for that trip I started hydrating by increasing my water intake for two days before the trip. My theory was that most people have problems with altitude because of dehydration. As a result of my action on that previous trip I had no ill effects and was able to summit in a reasonable time frame.

So this trip I did the same. I started drinking more water and kept it up on the plane ride to Colorado.

I arrived in Denver at 9:24 am with little sleep. I have always told myself I climb better with little sleep. It seems to work. The Rat doesn’t really mind. It may even shut it up. I got off the plane and it was on. We grabbed some food to go at the airport and rushed to the car. We were on the road headed to Estes Park and Lumpy Ridge.

We arrived at about 12:00 pm at the parking lot and organized the gear and decided that we would climb up to the via Conan’s Gonads to the Roosting Ramp on Twin Owls and stash a pack there and continue up the Wolf’s Tooth. My partner had already done the reconnaissance on how to get the start of Conan’s Gonads 5.9 http://mountainproject.com/v/colorado/estes_park_valley/lumpy_ridge/105763716

He would take that lead and I would get the Wolf’s Tooth 5.8+

http://mountainproject.com/v/colorado/estes_park_valley/lumpy_ridge/105749089

We would descend the Bowls of the Owls 5.0

http://mountainproject.com/v/colorado/estes_park_valley/lumpy_ridge/105763068

My partner took off leading at 1:00 pm. I started off at 1:38 pm.

I flew from sea level to 8000 ft within hours of the start of the climb and me following a 5.9 route with a pack I hate climbing with a pack. And it was the pack that I particularly hate that I had to carry. This pack will not allow your head to tilt back so that you can look up. The profile is too tall. But I made up my mind to climb around this difficulty and make it work. I made the first few moves and the jams were to die for. I was cooing and rejoicing in the smearing and jamming. It was so good I hardly remembered I had the pack on. I finished following and cleaning the route in 23 mins.

We re-racked and stashed the pack. And I was off. The first 15 feet were perfect hand jams, and then it got hard.

I knew that there was on off width section to contend with but it really took me by surprise how difficult and awkward it was. I really like off widths. I am kind of sick that way. This off width crack was a real struggle. I have the body made for off widths. I am small to average size. I am not a great climber, but I am mean. I have the tenacity to stick with it and leave a little skin if need be. An off width is that perplexing feature in rock climbing that will not take the largest hand jamming technique and not large enough to fit your whole body into. Now there is the double fist jam, but I don’t have the balls to pull that one off.

I was really at my limit on this climb. I was exhausted after 40 feet or so. I jammed my arm with a good arm bar jammed my knee in the crack and rested, breathed deeply and remembered all the preparation I had done. I adjusted my technique a bit and by jamming both my arms up to my shoulders into the off width crack with one arm above the other then kicking my legs completely free then by folding my body upwards in a sit-up of crunch move I jammed my feet and knee until I got enough friction to move my arms up. I was doing upside down chick wings with my triceps on one side and my hand on the other side of this hideous crack from hell and enjoying every upward movement. Finally I had time to rest when I moved into the chimney section. I found great gear all the way up and didn’t even use the battle-axe #6 Camalot. The bane of my existence is the bringing of too much gear for the climb. My theory is for an on sight climb I would rather have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it. I made it to the top of the pitch just below the top of the tooth. I was elated. I got it done. No falls. No takes. This was a clean free climb assent. A climbers dream. My dream. A project finished. Now to it was my partners turn. He was thinking what is taking him so long. Well I will make up time here and charge up this thing. He struggled. He cursed the crack. He said things like I wouldn’t drive 3 miles to do this climb I can’t believe you flew over 1200 miles to do this rotten climb. It took me an hour to lead it and he took an hour of struggling to follow the climb. He is not of the body build that lends itself well to the off width or chimney. He could not get any leverage. He said near the top “You are a freak! How did you lead that?” I was smiling from ear to ear. My partner was fried. His forearms where smoked. I offered the next lead to him. He said no way. I am done just get us off here the easiest way you can. I started looking at the next lead and he said don’t even look over there. That is the easiest way there and pointed. I started off again. It was not that easy to start off but it backed off right away and soon we were at the top of the Twin Owls. Now we needed to descend into the Bowels of the Owls. Like I said I knew the general direction but we had to look around. We saw a rappel sling around the base of a rock where some one had bailed off. It looked like they got a lucky day as we chose to keep searching for the Bowels of the Owl and not use the sling. We finally found the Bowels. It was a tube like feature chimney thing. We were chewed up by the Wolf and now we where getting extruded by the Owl. The Rat had full meal deal. We descended and made it to the trail grabbed our pack from the Roosting Ramp and away to the car.

It was starting to get later in the day and soon the sun would be setting. We need to get to the store and get supplies to have food for the evening and the next morning and then drive 140 miles to the next climb. Cynical Pinnacle and the Center Route.

http://mountainproject.com/v/colorado/south_platte/cathedral_spires_area/105748816

We rolled into the parking lot and my partner was adamant. Get in, get out, get what we need and repack the car, eat and get on the road. As we walked in I was trying to get him to give me is knife so I could get my tape gloves off. I was thinking we are going to look ridiculous wearing these things in this store. He told me to forget it we did not have time to take them off. I thought well I guess he is right I don’t live here and I will never see these people again. So we pulled our supplies of the shelves threw them into the cart. I was searching for the bug spray while my partner got it line. When I got back he was at the Customer Service Counter with a manager waiting on him. It seems that while waiting in line my partner saw a checker just standing in front of her check line doing nothing. He asked if she was open. She indicated that she was just waiting for the next person that is ready to check out. Well that would be me he said. She must have not liked his tone and eventually said something snotty like You People. Indicating that we climbers were the lowest of the low in town and the town would be better off with out us. That set my partner off and he told her he wanted to speak to the manager. The manager straightened it out. If only we had removed the tape maybe we would have blended better.

We escaped the store with our supplies and unloaded all our gear like gypsies in the parking lot, ate and packed and re-packed all the gear. We were moving fast. We needed to get on the road. I started to pack things in the car and my partner told me what you are doing not there. I said where would you like me to put this? He asked me you really didn’t think you were not going to be mentally scared on this trip did you. We laughed as the tension was getting a little elevated. We finished the packing and eating and got on the road. My partner asked can you do me a favor my arms are so smoked can you open this can of soda for me. I had really done it. The route had really done my partner in.

But it was The Pain Is Not an Option Tour and the Rat was more than full. The Rat was gorged, but the Rat is bulimic and was quickly sticking its paw down its throat and barking for more. It is a rather large Rat.

We rolled into our campsite at 11:00 pm. We shoved more food down out throats and then my partner asked can you help my with my tent I am shot. I got him squared away then he threw me the bivy bag told me he was setting the alarm for 5:00 am and said goodnight. I had never slept in a bivy sack. It is like an over sleeping bag. My partner had never used it either. He gave me an inflatable air pad. I shoved the air pad in and then my sleeping bag and crawled in. The bag comes with mosquito netting and the suggestion on the instructions is not to zip the outer lining up all the way so you don’t suffocate. I think the suffocating part was the last thing on my mind before drifting off to sleep because in the middle of the night the mosquito netting had managed to cover my mouth and I awoke with the feeling that I had been buried alive in a sarcophagus of death. It was all I could do not to rip open the mosquito netting and run screaming into the night. I finally got the zipper to work and decided that be eaten alive by mosquitoes was better than dying of asphyxiation.

I awoke to my partner calling my name. He told me that it was 5:00 am. He told me not to rush. I moved as quickly as possible. Grabbed some food. Gulped down a Starbucks double shot coffee in a can. It was a cold one. It had been on ice all night.

We packed the gear and were on the road. I was not looking forward to making the hike up the climbers trail to the base of Cynical Pinnacle. This is a heinous hike when you are not sore and running on little sleep. I remembered the theme of the trip. Pain is not an option. The Rat was even groggy. We arrived at the base and started the slog up the hill. The trail is more like a deer of goat path. Just like a climber’s trail. Now you see it. Now you don’t, and straight up. We made good time in spite of the marble size bits of exfoliated granite from above. It took us one-hour twenty mins. to make the approach. Now we needed to find the start of our route. My partner pointed to a ledge system that ended in a left leaning crack. He said that is were we started. I thought he said it was 5.7. A moderate start and well with in my range of ability. I racked up with the gear and started up. I mounted the ledge system and engaged the left leaning crack. The hand jams were solid but where was I going to place my feet. I started to smear. It was a little too steep for that maneuver to work well. I looked for nubbins or small ledges. Even dime edge sized ones would have helped. I think they were down on the path that we just came up. I struggled and bitched and whined. My partner told me he placed one #1 Camalot and just reached over and side pulled on a feature to the left. This suggestion was coming from a man that has the wingspan of a California condor. Which is 9 feet 1 inch. I just looked it up on Google. I reminded him I am not that tall and that I would need to go higher to make the same move. But then I would be above that particular move and thus be unable to use it. My solution after struggling for a while and placing four pieces of gear in the left leaning crack was to put a 48 inch runner in my last piece and place my foot in it. My partner immediately informed me that I was putting my foot in the sling. I informed him that I was doing this on purpose. Standing in the slings. Dammit! No clean assent. No on-sight lead. The Rat snickered at me. I was pouring with sweat. Then my partner lets me know that this was the start that his friend had put him on. He thought it really should be rated 5.10. What! I raged. I growled. That would have been helpful to know before I fired off out this crack. I thought well on we go. Finish the pitch. I reached up and hauled on a block above him that was hidden behind a bush and I was up on the next ledge. This looked more reasonable. I placed a piece and moved up. I was really sewing it up with all kinds of gear. Really I was placing too much gear. My rack was dwindling fast. I was running out of gear. How much further I yelled to the anchor. My partner didn’t remember. I am running out of gear I whined. You need to get above your gear. Hmmm O.K. Like this. I made several moves with some style. All of a sudden I was 15 feet above my last piece. I threw in a #3 Camalot and rested. Looking up I thought it is really wide up there and I am not sure I can finish with the gear I have left. I had my partner lower me I cleaned a few of my lower pieces and replaced them with a few nuts or hexes pulled myself back up and charged off to the anchor. It wasn’t pretty but I finally got to the anchor. I don’t even remember how long it too, but it was too long. I was tired and happy to have finished the pitch. I brought my partner up. He said his forearms were still smoked from the day before and the weather is building up to bring thunderstorms. We could see the clouds starting to pile up already. We talked it over. It was better to call it a day in bail and move on to the next location. Vedauwoo Wyoming. Nearly 200 miles North from where we were. The Rat raged. What about Pain is Not An Option. I told the Rat to shut up. It is better to cut your loses and not become an epic rescue situation. So the next adventure was the hike down the hill on the marble strewn goat path. I felt like gravity had been turned up a few degrees or the earth had shifted a little. It was harder going down and not end up on your ass or tumbling down the hill through cactus bushes. We finally got to the bottom of the hill and our quads in our legs were well done. You could have served them on a plate they were so cooked. We were in pain. The Rat was placated and had a warm spot in his belly.

We met a friend in Denver and hit the store for more supplies. We removed the climber’s tape. We had learned our lesson. We got to camp in Vedauwoo and set everything up and got dinner going. Our friend brought steak. We ate like kings. The next day would be another early one so off to bed for day three. We planned on going to the Valley Massif and give a go at Monkey Wrench or Screw. We got up and got ready for the day. I has brought my Bodum French Press. Makes the best coffee in the world. I was in heaven. Good friends, good coffee, and good climbing. We hiked over and ended up getting on a climb we had done before called Soft Touch. The guidebook indicates that it is a 5.5 climb with two moves of 5.7. Our thinking is that it is 5.7 because if you can’t make the 5.7 move you are screwed. The ratings at Vedauwoo are stiff and the off width cracks don’t help. My buddy made it up the first crux and set an anchor and belayed our fiend up. Then lowered her back down. Then it was my turn to lead the second crux move. I sent it with no problem. We then rapped off and could see the weather was again going to be a factor. More thunderstorms. We changed the plan as we wanted to give our friend some more climbing. We decided on an easy 5.6 that we had climbed before. It was short.

We rushed over to it and got ready. I led it and brought the other two up. Then the weather looked really dicey. We thought we would be walking off but that was not a good option with our new climber friend in tow so we devised a better plan were my partner and our friend would rap off and I would down climb the route. The Rat was standing up and clapping. Fun and adventure with rain imminent. While down climbing my partner was giving suggestions and I asked him not to as I was trying to concentrate on what I was doing at the moment as I glanced up at the thunderheads. I made it down in one piece and we packed up and headed for the trail. We decided to call the route Under The Gun because of the possibility of getting caught in the lightening and rain. Another friend drove up from Denver that night and we all made our plans for the next and last day of climbing on this trip. We decided to split up and climb in two teams of two. I would take one of the friends up the classic route at Vedauwoo on Walt’s Wall, Edwards Crack. My partner would take our new climber out for some slab and chimney technique training on some easy rock scrambling. We all enjoyed the time around the campfire and had the folk favorite S’mores. A climbers camp is always fun and the stories that are told and the best, especially more enjoyable with a full belly.

We got an early start and I led Edwards Crack with two pieces on the first pitch and five on the second. I really like to set up the anchor just about the crux so I can assist the second if need be. We finish both pitches in 45 mins. We had plenty of time to set up a top rope belay for Sattersfield Crack 5.8+. This was another project on the list. I had borrowed enough oversized cams on a previous trip to Vedauwoo to sink two battleships and never got to climb this off width beauty. I can’t remember if it was the weather being bad or if I looked at it and backed off out of intimidation and fear. For my egos sake I would like to believe it was the weather. The Rat eats that stuff up. Rotten Rat. I got on the rope and rapped down to the bottom of the crack and had my partner give me a belay from the top of the route. I cruised the first ¾ of the off width. There was a lot of holds on the face so it was fairly easy and was not a true all off width grunt up the crack. But at the top section there are two options. One is to stay in the off width cave and chimney up and go right or you can go left and go around the boulder to the anchor. The left is the better and more difficult choice. I chose the harder one for the Rats sake. To do this section I was fully in a split with one leg on one side of the crack orifice and one leg on the other. At this point it was really a chimney-stemming problem. The real move was to make a dynamic lunging commitment to jam my hands under to boulder and then move up on smearing my feet on micro ledges on the face. The Rat was squealing as in this position I was 200 feet off the deck and the exposure looking down through my legs was intense. I lunged or threw myself at the boulder and committed to the move. I smeared, grunted, and pulled myself up and around the boulder. At the last two feet I popped off the route and skidded off the route. I cursed the Rat laughed and immediately pointed out that even on a top rope I didn’t get it done. The route would have been spicy on a lead climb, before making the lunging committing move I would have had to reach under the boulder to protect the move with a #1 Camalot. That move would have made the route very spicy indeed. Another project and something for the Rat to play with on the plane ride home. We were done now all that was left was to pack up and get to Denver and fly home.

We had finished the tour with four days of great climbing, lots of pain, and great times around the campfire with good friend in some of my favorite climbing venues. This was certainly the trip of a lifetime and the Rat was even satisfied. All the preparation paid off with huge dividends and I had enough energy left over to make it home. My partner and I are planning the next adventure for this Fall and I will be hosting here in Oregon. It never really stops. There are too many rocks and mountains to climb to ever be truly done. Climbing to me is that thirst for adventure.

 

Gear Notes:

Too much gear always.

 

Approach Notes:

Heinous most of the time.

Edited September 18, 2009 by Plaidman

[billcoe]

Sounds like a great trip Scott! If these guys were paying by the word you could retire! LOL

 

My partner asked can you do me a favor my arms are so smoked can you open this can of soda for me. I had really done it. The route had really done my partner in.

But it was The Pain Is Not an Option Tour and the Rat was more than full. The Rat was gorged, but the Rat is bulimic and was quickly sticking its paw down its throat and barking for more. It is a rather large Rat.

 

[LostCamKenny]

Sounds like a great trip Scott! If these guys were paying by the word you could retire! LOL

 

My partner asked can you do me a favor my arms are so smoked can you open this can of soda for me. I had really done it. The route had really done my partner in.

But it was The Pain Is Not an Option Tour and the Rat was more than full. The Rat was gorged, but the Rat is bulimic and was quickly sticking its paw down its throat and barking for more. It is a rather large Rat.

 

 

 

 

Bill, I'm disappointed... I was hoping for the line of emoticons picketing, saying, this thread is worthless without the pics!