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Watch out!


kevbone

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Notice the look on my face; read my thoughts: "take the fucking picture already...".

 

I lured that annoying asshat in for a money making photo op, with the added bonus of crushing his face moments later.

 

Didn't you lose? Aren't we not supposed to hear from you again until next September, Seachicken?

 

 

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Notice the look on my face; read my thoughts: "take the fucking picture already...".

 

I lured that annoying asshat in for a money making photo op, with the added bonus of crushing his face moments later.

 

Didn't you lose? Aren't we not supposed to hear from you again until next September, Seachicken?

 

 

LOL now thats funny even you know that Seagal sitting with Carrot tops is funny. What an ass clown.

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Lesson # 1:

A band of rogue soldiers have taken over the train you are riding. From the train, they have taken over a U.S. spy satellite and are using it to blow up fertilizer factories in China. They are asking for a billion dollars, or they will blow up every fertilizer factory in the world. Their leader is a guy who looks like he was picked on by kindergarten bullies when he was in college. What do you do?!

 

For this situation, all you need is a butter knife and toast, and you can go on a killing spree. Don’t worry if your enemies went through years of training and combat to hone and sharpen their skills and killing instincts. They’re morons. You can actually have a gunfight with the whole group, do the Macarena in the middle of the crossfire, and you’ll still kill them all without getting shot. Yes, that’s what Steven Seagal would do

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Lesson # 2:

You are alone and enemy soldiers have cornered you. You have a pistol that has 8 bullets left, and you are facing 20 soldiers who are armed with heavy-duty machine guns. You are good as dead. What do you do?!

 

Steven Seagal won’t cry and suck his thumb in a situation like this. He’d get his pistol, which magically refills itself out of nowhere, to shoot the 20 bad guys. And he’ll have enough bullets left over to kill any bad guy hiding behind his back.

 

And yes, they’re all morons, so don’t you worry.

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And yes, they’re all morons, so don’t you worry.

 

Lesson #3: Don't underestimate your enemy.

 

Lesson #4: Unless it's Seahawks. What you see is what you get. :nurd:

 

Lesson #5

You are facing a guy twice your size. He is faster, stronger, and superior to you in every single way possible. And he is possibly a ninja. He wants you to take him on to a fight, mano y mano. You need to take him down, or else you die (duh). What do you do?!

 

If you watch his Steven Segal’s films carefully, it actually doesn’t matter to him if the enemy’s stronger or not. He lets himself get banged-up at first to let the enemy get into a false sense of complacency. When the enemy starts to gloat and begins to launch into a monologue, he strikes. He punches, kicks, and does some other mind-blowing stuff to the enemy. He then grabs the patented Ninja Utility Belt, gets the spork from inside, and kills the guy with it.

 

Why?

 

‘Coz the guy’s a friggin’ moron.

 

But after all the punching, shooting, and all other manly stuff, he doesn’t get messed up. Just look at him. Not a drop of blood, smudge of dirt, or a hair out of place on him! Forget Chuck Norris or Bruce Lee. Steven Seagal is awesome! lol

 

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Kevbone, I hope to have enlightened you. Imparting Steven Seagal’s wisdom is a big help to mankind, especially in those situations where armed morons threaten to destroy all life on earth. I mean, isn’t that knowledge practical? You can use it everyday! In fact, I’m gonna use this newfound wisdom at work. I’ll be the CEO of our company in no time. Bruce Lee sucks!!! :)

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