N.W. Washington Barbies are FINALLY Available!!!!

[thelawgoddess]

Seattle Barbie: This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with a

Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She

has a masters degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a

stay-at-home mom with Ken's generous salary. Comes with Percocet

 

prescription and Botox. Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming Blackberry

internet/cell phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing,

golfing, baseball and is often working late?. Available at all

Seattle-area Starbucks retailers.

 

Bellevue Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Nordstrom. She

Comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW

convertible or Hummer H2 and a longhaired foreign lapdog named "Honey".

Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available

with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation.

Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.

 

Tacoma Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun,

switchblade, '78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit.

This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with

cash- preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know

what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at many

pawn shops.

 

Everett Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a

Pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she

chased Beer Gut Ken out of Monroe Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble

includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip

gloss and a see-through halter top. Purchase her Mustang convertible

separately and get a Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at Army Navy Surplus.

 

Monroe Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans 2

sizes too small, steel-toed cowboy boots, a classic Metallica 'T' shirt

& a Tweedy Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has fake fingernails, a six

pack of Budweiser, and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over a

distance of 6 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk.

Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken gave her

after another one of his "episodes" with his boss's daughter. Comes with

Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at Wal-Mart.

 

 

Sultan Barbie: Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller

And bus pass. Also included is a G.E.D. and a completely filled out PFD

form. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Caddy are optional. Available

at Value Village.

 

Vashon Island Barbie: This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic &

tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no

make-up, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not want, or need,

a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive

a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at REI.

 

Olympia Barbie: This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie

to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work. Likes

to "experiment", but will never commit. This model is being phased out

and is only available from the manufacturer.

sweet.

[willstrickland]

Moab Barbie: This straight haired brunette desert queen embraces the no-makeup look and comes decked out in Chacos, and full prana ensemble. Hey mid 90s Toyota tacoma has a mismatched canopy shell and 6-10 stickers including mandatory SUWA, 5.10, and Keep Tahoe Blue. She has a Mountainsmith lumbar pack as a purse, with a aussie shepherd mix pet on a leash cut from an old climbing rope. She leads .12 at the 'Creek, brah, but that kayak on the roof rack hasn't seen the water in 3 years. She would never date a lamer named "Ken" but instead hangs with a bro-brah of vauge ethnicity answering to "dudemanbro", "heybrah", or "passthatyo".

[knotzen]

Redmond Barbie:

 

[G-spotter]

She's a USBarbie, but how many megs?

[still_climbin]

Got her silicon in the wrong place.

[EWolfe]

Redmond Barbie:

 

 

 

Very Nice!

 

how many megs

 

Any begs?