Scott_J Posted September 21, 2003 Posted September 21, 2003 The following is a preview of your modifications. If everything looks ok then you can click 'Continue' and your post will be entered. If not then use the bottom form below to edit some more. Subject: for off white A new government report shows the nation's courts are so under-funded they can't even give jurors the usual small daily fees in return for missing work. The good news is some private citizens are willing to donate millions of dollars to help pay the jurors. The bad news is they're Kobe Bryant, Ken Lay, and Martha Stewart. The office Mac fan posted: "Being a Mac user is like being a Navy SEAL: a small, elite group of people with access to the most sophisticated technology in the world, who everyone calls on to get the really tough jobs done quickly and efficiently." The office PC disciple responded "Being a Mac user *is* like being a SEAL: a shrinking, endangered group of animals that bark very loudly but are harmless, who are economically valued only when they are dead." ~~~~~~ Ned is down on his luck in Las Vegas. He has gambled away all his money and has to borrow a dime from another gambler just to use the men's room. The stall happens to be open and he uses the dime in a slot machine and hits the jackpot. He takes his winnings and goes to the blackjack table and turns his small winnings into a million dollars. Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Ned goes on the lecture circuit, where he tells his incredible story. He tells his audiences that he is eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever finds the man he will share his fortune with him. After months of speaking, a man in the audience jumps up and says, "I'm that man. I was the one who gave you the dime." "You aren't the one I'm looking for. I mean the guy who left the door open!" ~~~~~~ The NBA season schedule is out. How do opponents plan to guard Kobe Bryant this year? One man posted in front of the cell, every 8 hours? >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Biker joke A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees 3 men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks at the biggest, meanest one in the face and says, "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is a fine looking woman!" The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker, and would fight at the drop of a hat. The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad, but the biker still says nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!" At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders and says, "Grandpa, you're drunk, Go home!" Quote
Off_White Posted September 22, 2003 Posted September 22, 2003 Good ones Sisu, and like everyone else says, the grandpa joke That one's a keeper. Quote
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