The way I see it, being a hick is a absolutely a matter of choice. You know, a lot of people go into the Republican party being decent human beings, and when they come out, they're hicks. Why is that? Because they chose to. Or maybe because they got too much vaccination at once, which I, speaking from an informed medical perspective, think is the work of the devil. Now, let us all gather together and pound our puds until the cows come home. I like cows. They are so, pastoral. Like heaven, where there's no high-falutin' big bang, or queers and bestiality, or Muslims, 'cause the Bible tells me so.