OK here's my story. Lots of drama, not much action. Pretty boring really.
Short version:
I went on a backpacking trip on the Chelan Lakeshore Trail with persons P, G, A, and C (the organizer). P&G were really slow. A was a PSYCHO BITCH FROM HELL. Much drama ensued. A left the group. A rejoined. More drama ensued. A got booted out of the group. More drama ensued. A is gone forever. THE END.
Background: Before the trip, I knew C and knew she was cool but didn't know the other people.
Long version:
This past weekend I went on a backpacking trip on the Chelan Lakeshore Trail with persons P, G, A, and C (the organizer). From the beginning, P is struggling with boot problems and going painfully slow because she's lugging a pack full of tons of useless crap that's bigger than she is. G is also going painfully slow because he's prone to heat exhaustion and can't deal with the heat. A, who turns out to be a PSYCHO BITCH FROM HELL is already beginning to get bitchy because the pace is so slow. C is doing her best to be positive, make sure nobody has a coronary, and not get too stressed over the fact that the pace is so slow and we have 11 miles to cover. Myself, I'm just mellowing out and enjoying the scenery for the time being. Eventually I decide I'm really not getting any exercise whatsoever as things are going so I trade packs with P. After she gets my nice light pack, she's moving right along. Eventually, about 3 miles short of our destination, G, who had been looking like's he's about to have a coronary ever since we left the trailhead, decides he can go no further and needs to crash. So he camps out there with the intension of getting up really early to catch up with us the next day. The rest of us continue along, the pace having picked up greatly after dropping G. A is getting more and more pissy and abusive because it's getting late and it's past her dinner time. We keep telling her to have a snack, but she insists she must wait for dinner. Why? Beats the shit out of me. So eventually we arrive at out destination. The nearest water source is 1/4 mile away. Since I'm the only one with any energy left at this point, I empty my pack, take everyone's water containers, and go with C to the river for a major filter fest. We're hoping that during this time, the other two are setting up camp or at least doing something useful. After C and I fill all the containers, I pile 'em in my pack (Mt. Si flashbacks here) and hoof it back to camp. When we arrive, we find that not much happened while we were away. A stove is perched on a rock, one tent is pitched in a really half-assed manner, P is sitting looking tired, and A is sitting looking surly (as usual). At this point it's almost dark. Eventually after much futzing, camp gets set up and the stove gets going. A at this point insists that she doesn't want any hot water and she'll just eat granola bars for dinner. Huh? Why couldn't she eat her granola bars before? Who the hell knows? Whatever. I get some hot water for my tasty couscous concoction, C and P cook their food, and eventually all is finished and we go to bed. In the morning, I wake up, A wakes up, C wakes up a little later, but P is out cold. Eventually C wakes up P, A and myself are ready to go, C is on her way to being ready, but P won't be ready for another hour according to C's estimation, so C tells A and myself that we can hike out ahead and wait at this one scenic overlook. So A and myself head out, then hang out at the overlook and wait, and wait, and wait, all the while A is bitching and I'm doing my best to ignore her. 1:20 passes and P and C finally arrive, followed shortly by G. They need a rest so A and myself go out ahead again with the plan to secure a campsite when we finally arrive in Stehekin. I don't want to deal with A's bitching so I hike out ahead and get a couple hours of nice high-quality hiking, looking at the scenery, going as fast as I want, being in the zone, and feeling good all around. Eventually I get to the outskirts of Stehekin and the trail junctions so I decide to wait for A. Shouldn't have bothered, thinking back on it. So finally she arrives, cursing loudly that C isn't there to show us to the campsite and blah blah blah. I calmly say that she’s an intelligent adult and we are fully capable of figuring it out (ok, so I lied, but it was for a good cause). So we wander into Stehekin, I ask a couple of people where the campground is, find it, go to the visitor center, talk to the ranger, find out that the campground is all full, as is the ugly overflow area. A is about to blow a head gasket at this point, bitches at the ranger, and storms off to take a shower. Good riddance. I then go back, apologize to the ranger on A's behalf, express my embarrassment at being there, explain the situation, and get a reservation at a campground 4 miles down the road. There is a shuttle bus that goes there, and it's quite easy to hitch a ride according to the nice ranger lady. I then go for a little walk to check out Stehekin. On my way back to the visitor center, and about 2.5 hrs after I arrived in town, C and P stagger in. I run into them, explain the situation, and they are understandably unhappy because P is about to drop and they really had their hearts set on that campground that turned out to be full. So they head over towards the boat dock to wait for the bus. I return to the visitor center where A is waiting and fuming, report what just happened, and she starts yelling at me for no reason and heads down to join C and P. I follow shortly thereafter. Along the way I stop at the bike rental shop, put on my most desperate pathetic face, and ask if there's any chance the nice lady there could give us a ride up the valley in their van. She says she would but has to man the shop til 5pm so we won't gain anything over waiting for the bus, but she confirmed what the ranger said about the ease of hitching a ride. Then I realize I forgot my water bottle, go back to get it at the visitor center, start walking towards where the other folks are, and only then do I see G stagger into town. I greet him and lead him to where the others are. Lucky I needed to get my bottle or he would have staggered in with no clue where to go. Finally everyone is in one place waiting for the bus. A is bitching as usual, basically tells us all to go to hell, she wants nothing more to do with us, and she'll spend the night in the lodge and catch the early boat. In the meantime, I'm running around wheeling and dealing to get us a ride up the valley, and I succeed in short order. The 4 remaining of us hop in the back of this random guy's pickup. The ride up there is great. The guy needs to pick up some hay at a place right next door to the bakery so we get a bakery stop in addition to the ride. Score! Then he drops us off at the campground next to a prime campsite next to the river. So it seems like all is fine and we have a relaxing afternoon until a couple hours later guess who shows up... PSYCHO BITCH FROM HELL! Turns out she decided she didn't want to spend the money for a room at the lodge or for the early boat. Well tough shit we think. She already told us all to go to hell and nobody wants anything to do with her so we have a little Survivor-style confab and decide to "vote her off the island", so to speak. So then assorted histrionics and drama ensue, not surprisingly, and she walks off in a huff to find another area to camp. All is calm for the next couple of hours until it gets dark, and the leader C expresses concern that A may not have put her food in a bear box, and wants to check up on A. We may hate her guts but still don't want her eaten by a bear (well, I wouldn't mind, but that's me). So C, P, and myself go over to check up on her (G has been out cold for a long time at this point). Turns out she didn't put away her food and is lying in some random patch of dirt that's not even a real campsite. C insists that A put away her food and go to a real campsite for her own safety. More histrionics and drama and yelling ensue and last a long long time and A storms off out of the campground to hike back to Stehekin, apparently. C runs after her because A's headlamp is on the verge of going out, and C doesn't want A to be wandering around in the middle of the night to be eaten by bears (I of course wouldn't mind, but that's me). More histrionics, more drama, more yelling, but C can't convince A to return to camp and A wanders off into the night. About 5 min later a car goes by and we hope they picked A up and brought her somewhere. (Turns out that was in fact the case). The next morning, G doesn't want to risk having to hike back to Stehekin so he hops on the bus. I decide to hitch a ride, and C and P join me. We begin hiking and get picked up 2 minutes later by another guy in a pickup. He has to stop a mile short of town so we walk the rest of the way. 2 minutes later we run into these 2 guys that P and C met on the trail. P flirts shamelessly with one of them, D. C is eyeing the other one, T. Both are way too old for me. After a while we arrive in town and find G, as well as A at the boat dock. More drama and histrionics. I mind my own business. Eventually A gets on the early boat and is gone forever. Good riddance. Then the remaining 4 of us go have lunch and the waitress who has heard of our story (as well as the whole rest of that town probably) feels sorry for us and gives us free minestrone soup. Then we mill around for a while longer until the boat comes, and we finally head home. Then on the boat P and C meet their men again. P continues to flirt shamelessly and eventually finds out D is married, so P is sad. C had better luck with T, who at the end suggests that she come visit him at a restaurant where he is the chef. Good for C. THE END.
