just because i am a 'dick' and it is raining like a muthfucka here in san diego and i am not working because of it and i drank like a whole fukin pot of kickass costarican coffee i want to know some more shithead similes and metaphors. like these:
1: you [blank] slower than old people fuck.
2: shakin like a hounddog passing a peachpit.
3: sweatin like a nigga writing a check.