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lummox

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Posts posted by lummox

    NEWS FLASH!!

    in Spray

    Posted

    Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to

    live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is

    why I would not live forever," --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

    ``````````````````````````````````

    "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids

    all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like

    that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey

    ````````````

    "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your

    life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal

    anti-smoking campaign.

    `````````````````````````````````````````````````

    "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston

    Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

    `````````````````````````````````````````````

    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in

    the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

    `````````````````````````````

    "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the

    president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

    ````````````````````````````````````````````````````

    "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm

    just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.

    ````````````````````````````

    "I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.

    There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were

    selfishly trying to keep it for themselves." --John Wayne

    ```````````

    "Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager,

    Danny Ozark

    ``````````````````````````````````

    "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in

    our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President

    ```````````````````

    "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle

    ``````````

    " It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or

    another" --George Bush, US President

    ``````````````````````

    "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" --Lee

    Iacocca

    ```````````

    "I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the

    truth. I assisted in furthering that version." --Colonel Oliver North, from his

    Iran-Contra testimony.

    `````````````````````````````````````````

    "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like

    Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

    ````````````````````````````````````````````

    "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of

    people." --Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

    `````````````````````````````````

    "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton, President

    ``````````````````

    "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." --Al Gore, VP

    ``````````

    "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --Keppel

    Enderbery

    ```````````````

    "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received

    notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a

    change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville,

    South Carolina

    ````````````````````````````````````````````

    "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they

    go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the

    next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler,

    FCC Chairman

    Annoyed with the french?

    in Spray

    Posted

    >"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"

    >---Jacques Chirac, President of France

    > In response:

    > "As far as France is concerned, you're right."

    >---Rush Limbaugh,

    >

    >"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these

    >drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by

    >prostitutes."

    > ---Mark Twain

    >

    > "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French

    >one behind me."

    >--- General George S. Patton

    >

    > "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your

    >accordion."

    >

    >--Norman Schwartzkopf

    >

    > "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."

    >

    >---- Marge Simpson

    >

    >"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is

    >sitting in Paris sipping coffee."

    >

    >--- Regis Philbin

    >

    >"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any

    >better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit

    >outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more

    >stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't

    >know."

    >

    >--- P.J O'Rourke (1989)

    >

    >"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the

    >1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the

    >face

    >for it."

    >

    >---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

    >

    >"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he

    >hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French,

    >people."

    >

    >--Conan O'Brien

    >

    >

    >"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't

    >help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get

    >the Germans out of France!"

    >---Jay Leno

    >

    >

    > "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching

    >into Paris under a German flag."

    >

    >--David Letterman

    >

    > How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?

    >One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.

     

    What is a "sick" climbing route?

    in Spray

    Posted

    During the winter of 1990, after way too much to drink and smoke in the burbs of Pasadena, only sometime-climbing-partner Tony would continue onward to Joshua Tree with me. Tony was literally green from his hangover, and I didn't feel any better. We opted for something easy, so we climbed Walk on the Wildside which I had never done before. No smiling that day. The hangovers only seemed to get worse. We topped out then bailed the monument for some Edchadas and hair of the dog. That was a sick route.

    It's all in your head...

    in Fitness and Nutrition Forum

    Posted

    I put a photo of my next climb up on a wall RIGHT IN FRONT of my primary line of sight at work. I put this up as soon as I have a hard date for the climb. I also write the elevation on the photo in big majic marker. I must look at the photo 1,000,000 times before the climb. just try it, it is real simple but real effective

    If looking at pictures worked, I'd be getting laid a lot more by big-titted beauties.

    Nicotine

    in Spray

    Posted

    That Camel filtered sure is nice after the morning coffee and Little Debbies cookies. Breakfast of a Champion. Think I'll light another nail.

    The Hours Crawled By

    in Spray

    Posted

    Were you smoking non-GMO cigarettes? Cause that genetic-manipulation shit is bad for you. Just ask the Europeans bout that. No way would any health-conscious froggy be eating some Mansanto corn mush with the morning Gauloises. And their longer lifespans prove my point.

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