Beck

...Ice and hail pelt my helmet as my eyes search upward for any sign of Teddy. I can just make him out, climbing furiously, and I see him make toe entry step into the broken aretes that form the summit block. I cry out to him, to no avail. "Teddy, oh, Teddy, I was administering first aid! If you were hypothermic I'd have to spoon with you in a sleeping bag to rewarm!" Perverted images of me and Teddy in a high alpine 69 gave me a sudden rush, but trying to communicate with Teddy just then was like trying to reach Helen Keller on the telephone The storm ceases as suddenly as it began and the clouds broke to skies of azure blue. I set up a prussik self belay and begin reclimbing as Teddy free solos the last 80 feet and summits. As I begin body jamming amongst the summit pillars Teddy raps down to my level. I'm half expecting him to sock me good or give me a chewing out. I'm as nervous as a doghandler at the Westchester Kennel Club. Imagine my suprise when he stops mid-rappel, pendeulum steps his way over to me and plants a huge kiss smack dab om my mouth! I nearly lose my stance, what with my legs buckling and my heart pitter-pattering. "Teddy, Im so..so... flattered!" I exclaim. "Oh my goodnes, I'm quivering with excitement!" Teddy may have been out to break my heart, though. Without another word he gives me a huge grin and a wink, then zips off down his rapline out off sight below. I brace for a couple minutes to allow the tingling sensations to leave my crotch and climb to the summit. When I top out I find a Hershey's kiss and a note. My heart leapt and a tear rolled off my cheek as I read the few words awkwardly scrawled on the back of a scrap of a topo. It read: Someday I want to spoon with you on a summit without a care in the world. LOVE, Teddy. My gosh, I swooned like a housewife running into Tom Jones at the post office and nearly fell off the summit. I hastily set up for the rappel but never saw Teddy for the remainder of the trip. That bastard left me heartbroken and stranded at the trailhead, but I'll still be his climbing bitch any time. I think I love you, Teddy Ruxpin! THE END (finally!)

Nick, I checked with my contacts and they say Team Rux will supply all the gardenia-scented coconut oil you'll need! I hear it helps with performance...

Contact the American Alpine Club, I'll bet they've got a list of sponsors for youth driven expeditions. As with Texplorers post, keep in mind that anyone willing to sponsor a team expedition, they are going to want a first ascent (as in "first teenage winter ascent of Cassin ridge") or an expedition with environmental or educational scope. If you want free gear to just go have a dirtbag summer, it probably ain't gonna happen.

...The storm continues to drop hail and rain as I rappel quickly down to Teddy. As I approach I can see him slobbering and jerking around on the end of his rope like a spazz weightlifter jacked on steroids. I can see his eyes rolled back under the lids and he's muttering, "Teddy need Mommy" over and over. It's tough to keep the tears back as I break out the first aid kit and my Pocketrocket. The stove. "Teddy, Teddy, it's okay, your Momm's here. Let's get you all warmed up and fluffed out and everything'll be okay." I try to sooth him by rubbing his furry brow, then fire up the stove in an attempt to dry Teddy out. The drying proccess is going pretty good until I have to dry out his under regions. I've been working him over the stove, back and forth, keeping him far enough away from the flame I don't singe him. When I tip his ass towards me to work on his rear...man, it was like Larry Flynt having lunch with Gypsy Rose Lee... I got distracted and singed his ass hairs but good! I break out the coconut oil and start massaging his backside in a vain attempt to cover up the damage I've done to his fur, but the burning hair smell revives Teddy from his delirium right qiuck. " Wha.. what the h___ you doing back there? Are you some kinda perv, dude? Get your mitts off me!" "Bu..bu..but Teddy, I was just trying to get you all oiled up to protect against the rain!" I manage to stammer out but Teddy doesn't buy it. "Bu..but nothing, dude, you were MASSAGING MY ASS" he yelps out and takes off like a bolt of lighting to the ledge. "Teddy, oh, Teddy, I was just trying to help!" escapes my lips but is lost in the howl of the storm...

Gobs and Gobs of seamseal, inside and out makes it tight as a drum...what do you think of the Betamid's wind handling performance, goatboy? I haven't yet had to string out guylines from the two peak guyloops but probably will have to this winter..

Thanks, sean- I heard from WHISPERS some of our fellow Cascade Climbers were fomenting an idea for a Pub Club out in Ballard, but no one posted anything. nada. are we not climbers? Do we not drink?

Dudes, BD makes a killer new tent that will keep you very happy in everthing EXCEPT hurricanes above treeline and that is the new Black Diamond Betamid- 2.2 pounds light sleeps two and gear, sets up on trekking poles and is very wind stable- 99 bucks! The quality of the stiching and fabric is very high. I had a Bibler I tent I used for years until it just kind of wore out, my current bivy is a Bibler and I've not had any problems with that either- I wonder if BD moved Bibler's production line to China in the last couple of years? Or if it's hard to find good seamstresses in Salt Lake City's economy right now? I guess McDonald's has the same problem, finding enough people to work for low wages- It's a problem big enough that our government's trying to signifantly reduce immigration and work standards for Mexicans- imagine that!

Hear Ye, Hear Ye, barring consensus dissent, tonight's Pub Club will convene at Goldie's Tavern, 2121 N. 45th St. in wallingford in Seattle 6:30-??? Directions to Goldie's from I-5 N or S take the 45th Street exit, turn to the west on 45th, go about 8-10 blocke, Goldie's on South side of street, kitty corner from a Taco Time. Hope to see you all there!

Sean is actually the mastermind genius behind the Fall Ropeup; me, Beck, I''m just the expendible front man flunky.... contact hikerwa@mindspring.com to get in touch with the Real Man of Power!!

For the family's sake, yes I hope we find them... I'm not too optimistic, Glacial creep isn't a very gentle process. Philfort, are you going to be there this weekend?

Dr. Jay, I don't think we'll be running the generator for breakfast, unfortunately... I'm hoping someone has a big old ranch percolator that makes 40 cups of coffee or I'll probably go buy one... Lisa, what else can you bring...maybe some spatulas, big spoons, whisks, OR a couple stacks of paper plates and plastic spoons... People can start showing up Friday afternoon, The Bridge Creek Group Site's rented for Fri & Sat nights,so, if you want to help with setup/breakdown, Dr. Jay, consider yourself on the Group CG List!

Body recovery SAR, Dru- kind of macabre, actually, but all part of the gig.

dru, Teddy's all okay with my past, Cavey, it snowed on me plenty, I was about 60 miles from Wheeler Peak

Made fakey cheeseburgers that simulated Mcd's, screwed the house whore a lot to keep my mind off the solitude, hiked and scrambled with two canteens, one water the other tequila, good for 5,000 vert before the tequila would run out.

Team Rux is standing by, ready to supply ghillie suits, suitable covert ops tiedyes and neon micro bus to infiltrate the concertgoers...if it's the metal head crowd that's causing damage, studded leathers and all the hair gel we need to create headbanger pompadours to assist with infiltration efforts, Teddy's sponsered by Gene Juarez salons.

I bought a pair of LaSportiva Makalu Kevlars this summer (on sale!)and have been extremely happy with them- it is the lightest, totally supportive and stiff-fur-edging-n-kickin-step kind of climbing, used them on snow, no problem, I'll be wearing them on a SAR action on Mazama glacier of Adams this weekend, wearing cramps and searching in crevasses, I've found these boots to ROCK on the approach and KICK IT in the mountains. They're not going to be the most durable boot, though, or perform well in unconsolidated snow or heavy rains, but it's a great 2 1/2 season mountain boot and hella lite!

I'd bring the tarps if it looks like rain, Lisa- you don't have a big coffee cookpot by any chance, do you?

Hey, Cavey, spent two years m/l early eighties in Eureka, NV hiway 50, just 110 miles from the nearest Mcdonalds-oneway.

True story! from 20 years ago, Nevada high desert saloon. Two miners came to town every month and weren't happy till the blew all the money. They'd get totally shitty, order drinks for everyone by hollering, "From the front door to the shithouse, get all us niggers a drink!" or to send a drink to a lady, "Get the fat lady in the corner a drink!" One morning, two hours after they both left, stumbling(bars are open 24 hours in NV), one of them comes in and goes, "Give me a case of beer, I've got to sober up for the road!" I sold him a styro cooler and ice to boot.

It's very lousy climbers experience negative collateral publicity with issues like this- This is one of the topics to be discussed during the Clean Climbing Forum at the Fall Ropeup- if anyone is interested in helping out at Frenchmans' Coulee to contact Frenchmans'Coulee Climbers, Jon and Tim have the link on the main page, check it out. Related to the graffiti, I got an email off their list concerning the graffiti and cleanup- sorrily ironic thing is, the land managers are concerned about the impact of the cleanup methods!- which is a legit concern, but it must be frustrating to the climbers just trying to clean it up!

Bring the cookers, Rstewbone... maybe some big griddles? We'll be doing group coffee Sat. morn and Pancakes Sunday, Bridge Creek Group site- or stay at the regular campground, your choice.

...This was the catalyst that brought on the disaster on She's GGonna Blow! It was the rain- as soon as the first drops penetrated that sexy sheen of coconut oil Teddy, man, he FREAKED OUT, doing this totally frenetic spazz and just flails himself backwards off the ledge. I hear him call out "Teddy need hug! Whaaa!" as he drops out of sight. I desperately brace for the impact. I had enough time to get the stitch snug up on the anchor 'biner, the impact still popped a bolt out of the spread that whacked me in the kevlar falsies but good, it cracked the left tit cap all the way through the kevlar layup, that's how much force he fell with. I holler down below "Teddy, Teddy, I'll give you that hug!" and get no response. Oh, Teddy, gosh how I love that Bear!!! My heart pains to feel his dead weight on the end of the rope- "Teddy, I'm coming down! Just hang in there!" I tie off the belay and toss slings over some chicken heads to set up a second set of belay anchors, then connect the two stations togther with my cordalette... I've got to get down to Teddy quickly, quite possible he's injured and every second counts. I tie off our rap line to to the new equalized anchor collection point, check to make sure I've got my Purcell prussiks, first aid kit and a bottle of Coconut Oil, then rap down the line towards Teddy R....

Dru , you bringing the sonic bionic foam crater crusher with you to the Fall Ropeup? You've got a spot at the group site, outs of respect to youse canooks, eh? Bring some Elsinores and we'll get some newbies to play a round of BEERHUNTER!

OR Does make solid gear, and has for years- my OR croc gaiters are 8 years old, easy, and I've trashed 'em and repaired 'em and replaced straps and buckles and the velcro once too and they refuse to die- If you remember back 15 years or so, OR overmitts were THE cutting edge winter handwear, nothing came close, although Dashteins did work pretty good. I agree with returning new items if they've failed, less comfortable with people returning really old trashed out gear to REI, we've all heard the stories! and it tends to lower my opinion of people-

Out of respect for today's events, I propose a hiatus on the revelry we had planned for tonite- I don't feel like making merry's appropriate for today...