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Josh Lewis

[TR] Into the Mountains

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"Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to do,

Nothing ain't worth nothin', but it's free."

 

It's still better than slavery!

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Great TR and Pics!

 

It is so good that in 2010 you have been making much smarter calls. In fact I think you have summited more mountains in 2010 then in 2009 and outside of Baker (2009) 2010 have been much more impressive. The biggest reason is because you have been hiking/climbing with muliple partners. This has caused you to have a much higher success rate and a much higher safety rate.

 

Out of all your trips, this was the one that scared me the most though. It was here when I was contemplating rather or not I ever wanted to hike or climb with you again. It was strange getting a phone call from your mom wondering about your whereabouts. Out of all your struggles in 2009, this was your poorest call. You have come a long way from this time.

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How well did the duct tape work out, by the way? Were your feet warmer? Any chance you can work 10hrs a week to save up some money for some boots without holes? It might be worth it in the long run. I grew up poor, but was able to work after school and buy things like boots, bike, car, etc.

 

On another note, you are a fascinating human being. Based on reading other TRs I get a sense that you face many demons. Keep listening to your heart. BUT make decisions (in the mountains) with your head! For some people, the heart makes decisions, but the mountains don't care about how you feel. Obviously, we all care about you and sense your big heart. There is a very fine line between pursuing freedom and accelerating towards self-destruction.

 

Sorry for being another advice giver among the 100s. I hope we cross paths some day!

Edited by SemoreJugs

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How well did the duct tape work out, by the way? Were your feet warmer? Any chance you can work 10hrs a week to save up some money for some boots without holes? It might be worth it in the long run. I grew up poor, but was able to work during school and buy things like boots, bike, car, etc.

 

On another note, you are a fascinating human being. Based on reading other TRs I get a sense that you face many demons. Keep listening to your heart. BUT make decisions (in the mountains) with your head! For some people, the heart makes decisions, but the mountains don't care about how you feel. Obviously, we all care about you and sense your big heart. There is a very fine line between pursuing freedom and accelerating towards self-destruction.

 

Sorry for being another advice giver among the 100s. I hope we cross paths some day!

 

At first my feet felt hardly different, but a few minutes later once I had my boots on, and went out side into the heavy mist and snow, I stomped my feet until I could feel them again which was a relief. After that they helped for a long time. I might be able to get a job, but in my house I am caught in a wierd situation when it comes to that, I can work under the table just fine. I currently own two nice pairs of boots, one was donated to me from someone on nwhikers, and the other pair I got for a awesome price here on cc which my gear scholarship paided for the pair which was $100. Buying a car would be hard, but not impossible for me.

 

As for what you said "On another note, you are a fascinating human being." I appreciate that, I've had people say nice things to me, but rarly ever do they tell me that one.

 

As for what you said about facing many demons, that is very very true! I'm impressed you knew that and some of the people who know did not! So I'll explain some things that go pretty deep. Some of it has to do with troubles at home, troubles in life, and the beckoning question of wether I believed in God. So much hinged on this. Last year when I did this trip I was faced with so many challanges, it was the hardest year of my life, enduring each day to day was a battle, and I felt like the odds were against me. In school I was not doing so well, I tried so hard to enjoy my school, but there were some classes I absolutley hated, it seemed as though it was easier for everyone else, and they were so much better off than I, it made me feel like I was not a smart person, it drove me nuts. At times I was also very lonely, and started coming up with ideas like "I do not belong" and I fought the idea time and time again. I also felt betrayed by some of my friends, earlier in the year I got kicked out of the glacier course of the osat because my brother was my driver and some how the situation got set up so I got kicked out. Then I had my Camp Muir White Out trip which turned many people against me, I did not go for another mountain trip until this one. It was week after week of being home, my home is not that fun of a place to be. Sometimes it can be crazyness (fortunatley in recent times my home has not been) and I think it's amazing I did not go on this trip earlier or did not take this trip as far as I had intended. Even after this trip I almost ran away, so close, but I did not believe it would be the right thing for me to do. I would go to bed at night having a hard time going to sleep always pondering my toughts, the temptation of adventure at this time ready had it's grip on me, and yes I do plan on writting a book on this and the dark side of the story that goes along with it. There were events that brought me to do this adventure, I resisted doing this adventure for a very long time until I finally snapped, when school had just eneded, my Mount Adams plans fell apart, my friend could not take me for a trip, and I figured it would be a long time before I could ever go for a trip (it had already been a long time) I just decided "I'll go for it!" There is so much more to the story, but I think you have an idea.

 

In recent times things have been going well, been able to go out with good partners, regained trust and respect of many people since. I been trying to be more responsible on my trips since the past. Now one thing you gotta remember in my trip reports, when I say acrazy event, I don't leave out the details of the drama (basically don't assume there was something else crazy in the story that was not mentioned).

 

I hope to see you sometime as well, if you ever want to join me on a trip, or if I could join you on a trip, let me know.

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