Some things you may not know about me

[Chuck_Norris]

* Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

* Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

* Chuck Norris‘ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.

* If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the :censor: down.

* Chuck Norris does not go hunting, Chuck Norris goes killing.

* When the boogyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris once visited the virgin islands. they are now the islands.

* Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

* If at first you don’t succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris can eat a rubix cube and poop it out solved.

* “Crop circles are Chuck Norris‘ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the $#@$ down.”

* When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

* There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

* Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

* Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

* Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

* When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

* Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

* Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

* There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

* Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

* Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

* Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

* Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

* Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

* Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

* Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

* When a tsunami happens, it’s because Chuck Norris has been swimming laps in the ocean.

* Chuck Norris poops light sabers.

* Chuck Norris likes his coffee like he likes his women: ground up, packed in a burlap sack, and thrown over the back of a donkey.

* Chuck Norris’s belly button is actually a power outlet.

* Camels have a hump because Chuck Norris needed a place to store his kills.

* Chuck Norris has a beautiful singing voice. Unfortunately, the sound of it would melt the average human brain.

* Chuck Norris has a pet kitten - every night for a snack.

* On his birthday, Chuck Norris blows out his candles by blinking.

* Chuck Norris graduated from school with a degree in Chuck Norris.

[hakioawa]

You again? Didn't you get Your ass kicked?

[ZimZam]

Chuck Norris is happy, carefree, and gay. He was born that way.

 

Once again Bruce Lee kicked your ass. Now go back to bed.

[sobo]

You again? Didn't you get Your ass kicked?

 

Those were some was pretty funny lyrics!