Need To Get Laid? A Few Clues Based On Alcohol...

[Dechristo]

New York City bartenders were asked if they could determine a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

 

The results:

 

Drink: Beer

Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.

Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

 

 

Drink: Blender Drinks

Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.

Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

 

 

Drink: Mixed Drinks

Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.

Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink..................

 

 

Drink: Wine (excluding White Zinfandel)

Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.

Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

 

 

Drink: White Zinfandel

Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.

Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.

 

 

Drink: Shots

Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk... and naked.

Your Approach : Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

 

 

Drink: Tequila (AKA "Panty-Remover")

No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.

 

 

 

 

THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----

 

 

The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

 

 

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

 

 

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

 

 

Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

 

 

Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.

 

 

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

 

 

White Zinfandel: He's gay

[DirtyHarry]

Scotch: He wants to get laid by a sheep.