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Boulderer's Lament


willstrickland

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Got my fingers taped tight and my beanie pulled low

I'm decked out in Prana from head to toe

 

I brush off the holds with my old toothbrush

and eat five twinkies for the white sugar rush

 

My bros will be spotting, yelling C'MON!!!

We just finished watching some Chris Sharma pron

 

I sit in the dirt on pads six deep

and stare up at the problem, damn it's sooo steep

 

I'm amped, I'm psyched, I prep for the send

Looking for focus, I'm trying for Zen

 

I crank and I slap and I gaston too

"Go for it man! DO THE DEW!!!"

 

So I drop knee, crimp, set-up, and huck

here comes the sloper, now stick it, IT'S STUCK!

 

I grunt and roar, I scream and shout

Hey, I wonder when the new mags come out?

 

I flounder the mantle and wallow on top

My crew goes off, yellin’ their props

 

These little rocks make me sick strong

Hey kind brah, don’t bogart the bong

 

From wrestling the pebbles I got mad skillz

Wonder if I’ll ever take ‘em to da hillz?

 

“Bouldering and sport climbing are valuable, but they are not legitimate forms of climbing” – Yvon Chouinard

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