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tsk_tsk_tsk's Achievements


Gumby (1/14)



  1. I'm looking at bolting a route at an area that is already somewhat developed. I've done a little research on gear and drills but, what I'm trying to determine is what's the smallest drill I can get away with buying that is going to go the distance when drilling routes in basalt. So all you experienced bolters out there, what's the scoop? Everyone I've talked with so far is quick to assume I make $100,000/yr. and can afford a new Bosch Annihilator at $600. Not true. I have to find something less expensive. Help me out if you can, and save the "just climb trad" comments for the next guy.
  2. Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob "The whole fate of the world lies in your hands!" said Zelmo to Bob. "Don't you think I know that, fool?" snapped a panicky Bob. "Now why don't you let me concentrate on saving the f-ing planet?" You see, Bob had just invented the Asteroid Pulverizing Ray, which I will refer to as the APR, and had less than an hour to test it on a huge asteroid plummeting towards the earth. Bob spat tobacco juice on Zelmo's shirt. "Ha, ha," he laughed like a maniac. "That's alright, I'm already dirty," said Zelmo. "Ready, aim, fire!" said Bob as he readied, aimed, and fired. Unfortunately, the APR shot missed and blew up the moon. "D'oh!" said Bob. "Let's try her again." "Can I try?" asked Zelmo. "I'm the best shot East of the West." "Ok, but if you miss I'll just have to kick your ass," said Bob. Zelmo missed. Bob kicked Zelmo's ass. Bob furiously kicked the APR, and it was knocked over, shattering into a million pieces (give or take a few). "Well, there goes our only bloody chance at saving the frickin' world," said Bob. "I might as well go find some sheep to screw before I die." Luckily for life on Earth, Pedro and Hipolito had built their own Asteroid Pulverizing Ray, and they pulverized the asteroid with it. Bob contracted AIDS from the sheep he found and died a slow, miserable death. The End [ 09-05-2002, 05:45 PM: Message edited by: tsk tsk tsk ]
  3. You could call him up and ask him....... He posted his number on Craghag.com Agent Orange [ 09-05-2002, 05:56 PM: Message edited by: tsk tsk tsk ]
  4. I plagurized every single word from here. I'm still laughing about the urinating spree. [ 09-04-2002, 05:13 PM: Message edited by: tsk tsk tsk ]
  5. I particularly like the story about how he took a dump on the windshield of a car owned by a guy who was drilling and bolting some route in Yosemite....musta been back in his hardcore trad days/ folly-of-youth thing.
  6. quote: Originally posted by climbmachine: I am out, feel free to post any bullshit, this site has no legit content and is full of crap. I am not surprised we can't keep areas open since a climbing community is over-run by idiots like yourself. This is a pure crap![/QB] I thought you were going home, wanker! stickin around for a little more rejection?
  7. my (conspiracy) theory is that he put Portland in his profile to throw the mods off of the fact that he's actually from Bellingham...thus his territorial interest in Horn Lake access on the other thread.
  8. [ 09-04-2002, 04:17 PM: Message edited by: tsk tsk tsk ]
  9. quote: Originally posted by climbmachine: And if this happens I WILL BE VERY ANGRY (and few others too). It's the greates climbing on west coast, but don't fuck it up for everyone else. As i said- I would be VERY ANGRY and you don't want to deal with me when I am angry. Hey flash, good joke. I hope it is. because if not you might change your name to FLUSH, when I shove your head down the toilet (after I take a shit)and pull the handle. Yeah, and you know all about mental instablity firsthand. Who are you going to threaten to shoot this time? [ 09-04-2002, 04:18 PM: Message edited by: tsk tsk tsk ]
  10. my favorite: Bob drank twenty gallons of water. Then he urinated on his neighbor's lawn. "I'll get you for this!" shouted Bob's neighbor. This angered Bob, so he urinated on his neighbor and ran away. The next stop was the local firestation, where the old ladies were playing bingo. Bob urinated on the cement floor, splattering about ten old ladies. Then he ran to the well with the little boy that had fallen into it. He urinated into the well, soaking the boy good. The boy cried. Bob fled the scene and started urinating on everything he saw. He urinated on a bush. He urinated on the dog that was also urinating on the bush. He urinated on every ant he saw crawling on the sidewalk. He watered a garden with urine. He went into McDonalds and urinated in a urinal in the restroom. He urinated on french fries. He urinated on a Big Mac. He ate a different Big Mac. By this time, Bob had emptied his giant bladder. So Bob bought a small soft drink and got 87 refills. He was ready to urinate some more. Bob urinated in his pants. He urinated on more ants. He urinated from a roof. He urinated like a goof. He urinated on the walls, on the floors, on the ceilings, and on the doors. He urinated on punks, he urinated on drunks. He urinated on men, women, children, and pets. He urinated until everything was wet. He soaked the ground, he soaked the sky. Nothing in the world was going to stay dry. The rivers flooded and the oceans grew. The world turned yellow instead of green and blue. The North Pole turned yellow. Just like lemon Jello. The ice all melted from the heat of his piss. and flooded all but Mount Everest. This is where Bob lives today, alone. He is king of the world now called Urine. Pretty soon he will begin devising a plan to undo the damage he has done. Until then, he will just have to hold it or he'll flood Mount Everest's peak and drown.
  11. A Brief History of Bobs There once was an ogre by the name of Igor. Igor was pushing a boulder up a hill one day when he lost his footing. The boulder crushed him and rolled down the hill. Of course, it takes more than one boulder to kill an ogre, but Igor was knocked unconscious for several days. During his unconciousness, Igor dreamed about a man named Bob. This man became Igor's best friend. Unfortunately, the friendship didn't last because Igor woke up from his coma and Bob disappeared. Igor asked the local wizard, Sam, if he would ever see Bob again. Sam was a smart wizard, and knew just about everything. "While you were unconcious, you seem to have been concious in another universe. This is where Bob is. The only way for you to see Bob again is to be crushed by that same boulder at the same place in the exact same way." "you good wizard. make me know." said Igor. So Igor, who was still hurting from being crushed by the boulder, went to the hill and pushed the boulder up again. He got crushed at the same place in the same way, but unfortunately, the boulder killed him this time. "oh yeah," thought Sam after he found out that Igor was dead, "I forgot to tell him to let his injuries heal before trying that again! Ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ah ah." (Sam was an evil wizard) Sam found the stories that Igor had told him about Bob to be very intriguing. He developed a magic stone out of the boulder to view Bob's world from his world without having to be crushed by a boulder. This only allowed him to view Bob's world, it didn't allow him to travel to Bob's world as Igor had done. Sam wrote stories about what he saw and sold them for a lot of money. Igor's son, Igor Jr., found out what had happened. He was deeply saddened and angered. Igor Jr. smashed Sam's skull (ogres are good at this) and took the magic stone. "Dad like me to write Bobs and keep Bob memories alive to other ogres" said Igor Jr. So Igor Jr. wrote many stories about what he saw in the stone. The stone was passed down through the years and eventually I received it. "Why should the knowledge of Bob be restricted to ogres?" I asked myself. "I am a smart ogre (actually my blood is about 75% human and 25% ogre) I will distribute Bobs to everyone" I am doing this because my ancestor, Igor, would have wanted it this way. Maybe someday we'll figure out how to make direct contact with Bob. Maybe not. His world is almost exactly like ours, but time is different there. The people are the same. In fact, many people over there are also here. Most of these people are proffessional baseball players. Nobody knows how to explain this strange phenomenon. All we know is that Bob lives in a parallel universe to our own and his world is like a mirror image of our own, only with some differences. There is no Bob in this world. There is a Hipolito in both worlds. Nobody knows why. All I know is that I don't know nothin'.
  12. something I've been meaning to ask Bob, and now that I know he's around, I'll ask it here. Bob, how come you weren't invited along on the first All-Polish ascent of Coup-Jack?
  13. really, climbmachine smells like Agent Orange/ Crazy Polish Bob. Bob gave his email at Craghag.com as climbmachine2002@yahoo.com. His recent posts provide the corroborating evidence, IMHO
  14. quote: Originally posted by climbmachine: "desperate for reliable climbing partners who can crank" what do you mean "crank". Seems like everyone here sits too much in front of the computer, sprays endless spray (you lawsluttress included) and would have mighty hard time on-sighting 5.11 (even a sport route) or doing a WI4 pitch. As for dating service it would have to be in the "alternative" category, since the ratio of men to women here is like 10:1. Sounds like a perfect gang-bang recepie to me . smells like Agent Orange---CPB
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