Message to Pope, Dwayner, MattP, Cavedog, Lhotse, Erik, Wallstien, Alex, and anyone else who will listen, cares or wants to ridicule.
Today I got up at 5am since so I am soooo bad ass & dedicated in my quest to be the best skiier in the NW and someday the whole planet. By 5:15 am I was totally stoned and honed and ready to kick some ass. I stretched for an hour and then did my laundry. I was ready for the sloppy slopes.
Now it's 1:30pm & I haven't skied at all cause it's raining and slushy shit covers the once fine white that covered the immaculate powder. Changing conditions are a bitch...life is rough but I'll manage to hold it together.
Power slacking therefore becomes an art form. I have to admit that the pre-noon hour bartender girls ass was fine, her eyes were pretty, and the rogue ale was good. She had some tattoos...
Today I will concentrate therefore on getting the best buzz possible while fighting the elements from the barstool. I will not puke...unless to make more room for liquor....I will ski the chair highly intoxicated and remember my conmrade leading grade 4 ice after drinking 30 drinks the night before to celebrate....
I had to get this off my chest because although I will strive to be the best skiier I can be I will forever be faded and jaded and destined to become a snowboarder. Ride snow brothers! and may your ice screws sink solid first time! I need to go headplant in some firm snow now to correct the copious malfunctions occuring in my synapses....
Samurai greetings from my barstool.
Smoky Mcpot