Uncle_Tricky

We missed Dru's presence at Rope Up this year-- who'll bring the tall tales and boxing day cheer? Without him we were lost wandering round but a strange brew or two brought us around Dinner was terrible without HP Sauce but one more great white northerner-- what's the big loss? It took two of us foos to not cook the Canajun bacon which tastes super good- no mad cow can fake it Who else could spray on topics from A to Zeta, if not for the Druster and his pet moose Beta But you was there in spirit which is just as well-- fern still brought the kokanee and that vague flannel smell... PS. I prefer to call it "ambling."

Vertigo. It ain't about the fear of falling. It's the fear of the desire to leap into space. Why resist? Instead, insist on learning to fly. You can do it. Give it a try!

We drive into the mountain night. I look into my rearview mirror and see the past. It doesn't resemble where we've been. I look forward and I don't know where I'm going. But we’re getting there, towards a future that's already been. We arrive, she pulls on her pack. Silent we walk together, stare into the black. Up at all the bright holes in the sky, we walk and we wonder questions like "why?" No answer's forthcoming. We choose at bivy, time to drop off to sleep, content in the knowledge our mountain dreams will be sweet. Roped up we climb both moving apart towards similar ends. Beauty attracts me, I'm drawn in. Leads are reversed, beginning forever again. Stuck on a rocky ridge backbone of the earth, we cower at ground zero of a fury-fueled, bitter-pissed mountain thunderstorm. This, and nothing more, is god. We’ve lost our minds. Where did they go? How did they get there? No way to know. Pulses racing in the mind, our synapses spark, flame and fuse. Our lives on loan, not sure of the terms. Please put us out when our souls start to burn. She asks me, “how's life on the edge of the ledge?” I look over. “Its a long way down.” We’re observers in our own lives, a third party in two. I have a strange sense of deja-vu, not lucid enough to be helpful. We’ve been here before. But where is here? I wish I could know. The storm passes and up that rocky fool's road we go. We face it all with open eyes, not afraid to give or die. Climbing smooth, total immersion, no aversion, I have no fear of falling. This is life, it's for living. At the summit we lie on sun warmed rock, mist melting away, the storm drifted off to the east. Her free hair reaches below strong shoulders, a little womanly extra in the right places. She is named after a tree. She has unwavering blue irises and long feminine functional fingers, smeared with dried blood and aluminum dust. I taste her neck. It is soft and sweet and smooth and salty. Her mouth is wet and warmer than blood. In her eagerness, she presses forward beautifully naked of puritanical emotional clothing. I slow her down, exploring the soft subtleties of the base of her throat. Black pupils push out the blue her fingers grip moving convulsively betraying the current that runs through her core. I hold her back and we give in and our heads spin off into a lovely void. Let us live forever in the world of the mortals, die in solitude, surrounded by these mountains we love. This is home a place we've never been before. Let me go so I can remain a part of you.

Hey Kids, here's another bit o news I'm sure ya'll will be happy to hear. I wrote this article for this weeks edition of the Methow Valley News. -- Feds propose 80 percent reduction in "critical habitat" Methow Valley News Dec. 8, 2004 In the year 2000, the National Marine Fisheries Service proposed that more than 120,000 river miles in Washington, Oregon and Idaho be designated as "critical habitat" for endangered salmon and steelhead species. But after losing a lawsuit filed by the National Homebuilders Association, the agency withdrew the designation in 2002. On Nov. 30, the agency, now called NOAA Fisheries, introduced a new plan that would designate about 27,000 river miles in the Northwest as critical habitat. Compared with the original plan, the current proposal represents an 80 percent reduction in the number of river miles eligible as "critical habitat." "Critical habitat" is defined as specific areas essential to the conservation of fish species listed under the Endangered Species Act. These areas may require special management considerations or protection. The Methow Valley has two fish populations listed under the ESA that would be covered under the new, revised NOAA plan: wild steelhead and the Upper Columbia spring run Chinook salmon. According to NOAA Fisheries documents, the 2004 proposal only includes areas of stream where listed salmon and steelhead have actually been observed, whereas the 2000 designations included all accessible river reaches within the range of the listed species. Bob Lohn, the Northwest regional administrator for NOAA Fisheries, acknowledged the new proposal defined much less habitat as critical compared to the original proposal. "When we initially designated critical habitat back in 2000, our biologists didn’t have information about where fish were actually located, so they just designated whole sub-basins," explained Lohn. "Now we know precisely where the fish are, so this, in my mind, is not a reduction in protection." Over the past few years, biologists have conducted habitat and fish population surveys and assigned a biological value rating for different stretches of river to determine conservation priorities. In the Methow sub-basin, there are 6,726 miles of streams including the Methow River and all its tributaries, according to biologists. Of that 6,726 miles, agency officials determined that there were 202 miles of critical Chinook habitat, and 216 miles of critical steelhead habitat which could be eligible for protection under the new plan. Lost River, the Chewuch River, the Twisp River and the upper reaches of the Methow all were given the highest conservation value rating for spawning and rearing habitat for steelhead and Chinook, according to NOAA Fisheries documents. Critical habitat designations must also consider economic impacts. Areas may be excluded from critical habitat if a determination is made that the benefits of such exclusion outweigh the benefits of specifying the area as part of the critical habitat. This was the basis of the 2002 National Homebuilders Association lawsuit, which claimed NOAA Fisheries had failed to accurately account for the economic costs of endangered fish conservation. The successful lawsuit forced the agency to redefine critical habitat for salmon and steelhead and led to the new proposal announced last week. Lohn also noted that many stretches of river currently populated by endangered salmon or steelhead could also be excluded from the proposed critical habitat designation if pre-existing state or local laws afforded essentially the same protections. As an example, he cited state and county zoning laws requiring building setbacks from riparian areas. He said additional exclusions "could be anywhere from very small to up to 90 percent of what we consider critical habitat." At this stage in the process, it is too early to know how many river miles in the Methow would be included or excluded from critical habitat designation. "It’s a balancing act," said Lohn. "The test is simply whether the economic costs and benefits outweigh the conservation costs of excluding a particular area from critical designation." NOAA Fisheries documents indicate that agriculture, grazing, irrigation, road building and forest fire activity/disturbance are activities that take place in areas that could be designated as critical habitat in the Methow Valley. Under ESA requirements, land management agencies are required to give "special consideration" to such activities in designated areas. "This decision looks like a draconian action on behalf of NOAA," said Kurt Beardslee, the executive director for Washington Trout, a western Washington group devoted to the restoration of the state’s wild fish populations. "Because we’ve already lost so much historical habitat, we need to protect habitat broader than that which is currently populated." Beardslee said because distribution of fish is related to their abundance, the current proposal for designating critical habitat only where endangered fish currently exist falls short. He said protecting areas including the historic habitat range of endangered fish species would be necessary as fish populations increase. "If you only protect the habitat where they are now, their recovery will be limited as they try to push into unprotected areas where they were historically, but are not presently, present," said Beardslee. NOAA Fisheries will hold public hearings in January to receive comments and feedback. Final rules are scheduled to be complete by June 2005. More details are posted on NOAA Fisheries’ website: http://www.nwr.noaa.gov/1salmon/salmesa/crithab/CHsite.htm.

From the Western Slope No-Fee Coalition: > December 6, 2004 > > WESTERN OUTCRY FAILS TO STOP OHIO CONGRESSMAN'S RECREATIONAL ACCESS TAX > > > > Despite a last-minute outpouring of letters and phone calls and a > flood of negative editorials, an Ohio congressman with no public lands in his district has forced a measure through Congress to implement > permanent access fees for recreation on all land managed by the Forest > Service, Bureau of Land Management, U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service, and > Bureau of Reclamation. > > Ralph Regula (R-OH), the original architect of the unpopular > Recreational Fee Demonstration Program (Fee Demo), attached his bill > as a rider to the giant omnibus appropriations bill. Originally passed > on November 20, the omnibus unexpectedly had to be revisited by > Congress because of language objectionable to privacy-rights groups > that would have allowed certain members of Congress to scrutinize > individual tax returns. The omnibus bill passed Monday evening, > December 6th. > > Opponents of Regula's bill seized the opportunity to mobilize a > massive phone call and letter-writing campaign in a last-ditch attempt > to delete it before the final vote. Despite thousands of letters and > phone calls and press coverage coast to coast, the effort failed. Fee > opponents have vowed to take their fight to the next Congress. > > The fee bill, HR 3283 or the "Recreational Access Tax (RAT), allows > the federal land management agencies to charge access fees for > recreational use of public lands by the general public. It has been > highly controversial and is opposed by hundreds of organizations, > state legislatures, county governments and rural Americans. > > "This is a bad bill and it is a bad tax. It will not be accepted by > the American people," said Robert Funkhouser, President of the Western > Slope No-Fee Coalition, one of the groups coordinating opposition to > public lands fees. "It was forced through without passing the House or > any hearings or debate much less a vote in the Senate. Such a major > change in policy should be done in an open public process not behind > closed doors. Congressman Regula has sold out America's precious > heritage of public lands." > > Key provisions of the RAT include permanent recreation fee authority > for National Forests and BLM land as well as all land managed by the > U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, the Bureau of Reclamation, and the > National Park Service. Failure to pay the fees will be a criminal > offense. Drivers, owners, and occupants of vehicles not displaying > either a daily or annual pass will be presumed guilty of failure to > pay and can all be charged, without obligation by the government to > prove their guilt. The measure encourages agencies to contract with > private companies and other non-governmental entities to manage public > lands. The bill also establishes a national, interagency annual pass > called the America the Beautiful Pass, expected to cost $85-$100 > initially. > > "Congressman Regula has claimed that fees will be limited to only > highly developed facilities," said Funkhouser. "But the actual > language is very broad and contains internal contradictions. The RAT > prohibits entrance fees for Forest Service and BLM managed lands on > one hand and authorizes basic or standard fees for the very same lands > on the other. It gives the agencies a free hand to decide how large an > area a fee can apply to, and it calls for essentially only a toilet in > order to qualify. Make no mistake, this bill transfers ownership of > our public lands from the taxpaying public to the agencies. These > agencies have a long history of financial bungling and mismanagement, > and should have more congressional oversight, not less." > > Fee opponents plan to work closely with the incoming 109th Congress to > repeal the Regula bill, and anticipate strong bipartisan support in > both houses. In the meantime the Western Slope No-Fee Coalition will > be monitoring agency implementation of the RAT to ensure that the > agencies do not implement fees outside this new law. Regula's bill > failed to attract a single western sponsor but was co-sponsored by > seven eastern congressmen. > Regula is seeking to become Chairman of the powerful House Appropriations Committee and is running into stiff opposition from Congressmen Jerry Lewis (R-CA) and Hal Rogers (R-KY). While Regula has no public land in his district, both Lewis and Rogers district's have vast tracks of Forest Service and/or BLM managed public lands.

Here is the article I did. Hopefully it clearly summarizes some of this stuff.... Rider on House bill could make recreation fees permanent New 10-year public lands access fee program includes high fines and possible jail time for violators Methow Valley News, Dec. 1, 2004 Feel like taking the kids out for a hike? Starting in 2005, you’d better have your new "America the Beautiful National Parks and Federal Recreation Lands Pass," or a day strolling the public lands surrounding the Methow Valley could cost you $5,000 and six months in jail. Buried in the 3,000-page appropriations bill currently being considered by Congress is a new version of the National Recreation Fee Demonstration Program, which established the fee commonly called "the Forest Pass" in 1996. While the new fee program has not yet become law, passage of the measure appears likely. The bill is attached to the $388 billion appropriations measure that provides funding for much of the U.S. government. The new bill, which would replace Fee Demonstration Program, is called the Federal Lands Recreation Enhancement Act. It would dramatically increase the penalties for non-compliance, extend the fee program for 10 years, and expand the program to include federal lands managed by the Bureau of Reclamation as well as the Forest Service, National Park Service, Bureau of Land Management, and U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. Passage of the appropriations bill–which includes the new fee program–was delayed after the discovery of a controversial clause that would have allowed members of Congress to peruse individual tax returns. The Senate has already approved a new version of the spending bill, which drops the unpopular tax clause, but retains the language establishing the new federal lands fee program. The House is scheduled to vote on it Dec. 6. The new Federal Lands Recreation Enhancement Act could have significant implications for local recreationalists. Currently there are at least 25 trailheads in the Methow Valley Ranger District where a pass is required, according to district ranger John Newcom. "In the past, we’ve written quite a few warnings, but not too many citations," said Newcom. "In the future, the balance between warnings and tickets will probably start shifting towards tickets." If the new fee program passes next week, those found parking at trailheads without an "America the Beautiful" pass could face criminal penalties including six months in jail and a $5,000 fine. Presently, the standard fine for not displaying a forest pass is $50. "We are well aware the current fee program is not very popular with everyone," said Newcom. "We hope that people understand that the money to support our recreation facilities has to come from some place." Rep. Ralph Regula, a Republican congressman from Ohio, instituted the first Fee Demonstration Program back in 1996. Since his proposal for the new permanent fee program was introduced in 2003, it has languished, drawing only seven co-sponsors–all from east of Colorado. Regula’s district has no public lands that would be affected by the new fee program. Recently he added the new fee program to the huge government appropriations package. Legislators frequently attach unpopular "riders" to big appropriations bills. The Federal Lands Recreation Enhancement Act has never been debated by the Senate or had a public hearing. "Fee Demo is even more intensely unpopular now than it was when it was originally implemented," noted a press release by the Western Slope No-Fee Coalition, based in Colorado. "This bill would be unlikely to pass on its own merits. To tack it on as an appropriations rider is an abuse of legislative power." Strongest support for the bill has come from the American Recreation Coalition (ARC), a group that includes executives from corporations such as Disney, Kampgrounds of America and various RV and boat manufacturers. "Fees will remain only one part of caring for our legacy of public lands," said ARC president Derrick Crandall. "The fees authorized under this measure will not block access to public lands by anyone, regardless of their financial situation." According to Crandall, the new fee program "is a good framework for improved recreation experiences on America’s public lands." Isabelle Spohn of Twisp disagrees. She, along with partner Richard Tinglestad, founded "Free The Forests," a local group opposed to charging general access fees for undeveloped public lands. "This hits rural areas really hard, especially those surrounded by public lands like the Methow Valley," said Spohn. "For many families, a day in the woods is the only kind of affordable entertainment around here." According to Spohn, estimates for the cost of the new pass range from $85 to $100 a year. "Currently there’s a lot of non-compliance with the forest fees," said Spohn. In reference to the stricter penalties contained in the new bill, she added "I think they feel they need a heavy hammer to keep people in line." Spohn said that given enough public outcry, the House of Representatives could still remove the fee program from the appropriations bill before it goes to a vote Dec. 6 and becomes law. Those unable or unwilling to buy an "America the Beautiful National Parks and Federal Recreation Lands Pass," could still freely utilize posted public lands one day per year. Language in the bill allows land managers designate an official "Fee Free Day." For more information: •www.wildwilderness.org, •www.fs.fed.us/recreation/programs/feedemo/ •www.theorator.com/bills108/hr3283.html

JayB wrote: It has already passed the senate. The vote in the house is tentatively scheduled for Dec. 6. Unless the house changes the appropriations package (for example removing the language establishing general access fees for undeveloped public lands) the senate will not have another chance to vote on the massive appropriations bill and it will become law. The pressure is on to pass the bill, as Congress has already been forced to pass an embarrasing emergency stopgap measure to extend their borrowing limit in order to temporarily fund the federal gov't so as not to default on our debt and/or bring the government to a grinding halt. (And yes, this is with the republicans controlling both the legislative and executive branches of gov't). That's precisely why it was attached to the huge appropriations bill necessary to fund basic federal operations--you either vote yes or no. Realistically, something like an expansion of an existing federal fee program to access public lands is not enough of a political reason to shut down the gov't for most politicians. Currently, it appears the bill will become law next week--unless enough pressure is applied to the republican congressional leadership and they remove this rider, which would force a new vote in the senate.

Hey homeslice--hope you got a few grand to burn and half a year of free time to spend in federal prison!

Strongest support for the bill has come from the American Recreation Coalition (ARC), a group, which includes executives from corporations such as Disney, Kampgrounds of America and various RV and boat manufacturers. “Fees will remain only one part of caring for our legacy of public lands,” said American Recreation Coalition president Derrick Crandall. According to Crandall, the new fee program “is a good framework for improved recreation experiences on America’s public lands.”

I just finished writing an article for our local paper about this issue. Some interesting facts follow: As of next week, (assuming its passed, which seems HIGHLY likely at this point--see below for details) the Forest Pass will now be known as the "America the Beautiful National Parks and Federal Recreation Lands Pass" (I'm not kidding.) Replacing the old "Fee Demo" program will be the new "Federal Lands Recreation Enhancement Program." Not having the pass is a criminal offence, punishable by up to 6 months in jail and a fine of $5,000. Early interpretations of the legislation indicate that it be applied to whole sections of public land--not just cars in parking areas. The new fee program extends the "Demo" for ten years, and expands it to include lands managed by five federal agencies--not just the forest service. Provisions for the new pass are included in the $388 billion dollar appropriations package currently being debated by congress. (Yes, the same one that was delayed after a few people who actually read the 3,000 page bill discovered that it allowed congress and their staffs access to individual's tax returns.) In order to win passage (and sidestep public hearings on his bill), the republican author attached the bill as a rider to the huge spending package necessary to fund the govt's operations for FY 2005. This is a common strategy for unpopular bills that would likely never pass on their own merits. The new version of the bill removes the controversial tax stuff, but retains the new forest fee program. The house votes on this measure Dec. 6. With support from most congressional republicans and the president, it will likely pass. Rep. Ralph Regula, is the Republican congressman from Ohio instituted the first Fee Demonstration Program back in 1996. He created this new bill that could become law next week. All seven co-sponsors of the bill are from east of Colorado. Regula’s district has no public lands that would be affected by the new fee program. Those unable or unwilling to buy an “America the Beautiful National Parks and Federal Recreation Lands Pass,” could still freely utilize posted public lands one day per year. Language in the bill allows land managers designate an official “Fee Free Day.”

Amputate superfluous extremities

Equilibrium Lost polar gravity gone I hurtle earthward (Previous and this brought to you courtesy of Dumbass Haiku, Inc.)

Overheard this weekend: "I'm never climbing again." "Hey, have any of you guys seens our tents around here anywhere?" "It's not the fall, it's what you hit and with become one that matters." "Stop mocking me while I climb!" "Us Canadians don't steal, we just borrow stuff. We're going to return the sombrero tomorrow." "Thethrre's thhhe stoouut beear. It'zs prethty stoooout. Thhen thererre's aah lightifhs beeer theye calle thle Triple. I'vve havthd a fewe of thothse anndddd annnddd I'mm uhhh ftlheeling aaaa theeling aa litthle buthzzed." "Adapt and devolve." "I'll be your chair." "$421?!? I was only going 91." "Is that your ex? No, that's her dog." "Falling!!! AAAAIIIIIIIII!!!!! ..... Oh, nevermind." "Blow ye winds blow, blow all them sportclimbers away!" "As a parent, I believe in corporal punishment, but its been a while since I was on this side of a spanking. TAKE!" "The bottomless cup of coffee is calling me." "Get your weiner away from my tofurkey now." "Doesn't that make your nipples hurt?" "It's time to reintroduce fire to the landscape." "I'm a bad conductor."

Hey! My chair! (left of red cooler) I've been wondering where that thing was since last fall. I hope it will attend the 04 event so I can once again enjoy its cush green creature fold up comforts.

Climb: Green Giant Buttress-Dreamah Date of Climb: 8/4/2004 Trip Report: Hurricane H and I went west from twisp in search of a place to see Fahrenheit 9-11. Closest theater showing moore's film was in Everwet. Good movie--it puts a couple pieces of Bush's "Bread and Circuses" presidency in context. The bread being W's massive deficit spending and monetary stimulus (AKA "Borrow and Spend") during a period of economic growth (albeit slow and unevenly distributed). Iraq is of course the circus, and while clowns are apparently running the show, its not really that funny or entertaining. I've always considered Bush's simpleton image merely that--a clever administration-encouraged perception to portray our silver spoon ivy league cowboy in chief as a straight-talking, brush-clearing "average joe." Behind the dullard image, I imagined W was a pretty cagey fellow. Increasingly, I worry the guy truly is a dangerously retarded boy emperor who should be wading around in the kiddie pool wearing his water wings and peeing in his shorts while eating twinkies instead of running this fine country into the ground with all the adeptness of Enos, who of course jumps his police car into the same pond every week on the Dukes of Hazard (starring Dick Cheney as Boss Hogg). Anyway, we brought our gear so after the show we decided to camp at Darrington and do Dreamer the next day. Climb was much fun. Overcast and semi-threatening skies all day, but not a drop of rain fell. Clouds and fog poured down over the gap to the south of Green Giant Buttress and flowed down the valley before dissapearing. Hurricane stormed up the climb. But I felt bit bad about leaving her with significant pendulum potential on the crux pitch (the face moves to roof/lieback/traverse above the blue crack). However, trial and (t)error has taught me rope drag is not my friend. She is absurdly strong, but that doesn't help much on the reachy slabby moves below the roof. After up and downclimbing a couple times while eyeing the possible swing, she cruised it. After many rappels involving some temporarily entertaining rope-eating flake fustercluckage, we returned to granite waterfalls below to retreive stashed beerverages, pay homage to the color green and watch the day go away. Demonstrating almost Daisy Duke-like driving abilities, Hurricane sucessfully dodged many glowing-eyed suicidal deer trying to merge with her vehicle at high speeds on the late night road back to Twisp. Sequence of Hurricane on the blue crack pitch: Some hard face moves to reach crack: Flaking it: Hurricane experimenting with the useful, but under-utilized "head jam.": Gear Notes: Shoes would have preferable to sandals.

As The Good Doctor says, when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro...

While leading the last sustained corner pitch my partner-- apparently addled by various factors including, but not limited to: a 2.5 hr sweat lodge sesh; 3 hrs. sleep; a bad case of gastrointestinal distress; and the hallucinogenic stages of dehydration--was having solo conversations such as "Get it together!" "Arggggghhhh!" "This is just a layback!" "Aaaaaarrrrrrghggghhhhh!!" "Get it together!!!" "Send it doooooooood!" I yelled up, cackling hysterically, eyeing the shadows looping overhead. Het got it together and sent it with some motivation from the circling wombats.

Yeah, much fun! Maybe we could have used hooks, but after clipping the bolt, I only placed one piece of gear under the lip which allowed me to reach the piton right at the lip of the lip. PS. my partner dropped some mystery booty which landed right at the base of the climb for those who feel like a short hike.

Climb: liberty bell-liberty crack Date of Climb: 7/28/2004 Trip Report: Started climbing as sun hit rock. First few pitches went somewhat slowly, as I haven't done much aid besides redneck aiding before. I led the Lithuanian Lip, which was a blast. After that, we cruised along, swinging leads. Possible to link several pitches, although rope drag is a drag in places. Favorite pitches were in top half of the route. Least favorite pitch was probably the rotten block pitch, which has some fun climbing but plentiful crappy rock that if dislodged would probably nuke your partner. Both of us were suffering from lack of water as we started a quart low and brought only a quart each for the day. Travel light, slow and dessicated is our motto. Thanks to the party who climbed the beckey route whom we met up with on the descent who shared a few swigs of their aqua and the yodelers who gave a couple of stinky delirious bums a ride back to the car. Returned well worked to Twisp in time to catch some jazz on the deck by the river. Today is a hammock day. Gear Notes: we took too much given the large amount of fixed gear. didn't need cam hooks or anything. no packs, single 60. small nuts and cams are very helpful. Approach Notes: little bit on snow at base is hard and icy, but kicking steps is fine, no ax necessary.

In another thread JayB wrote: I'm gonna break that out tomorrow. It's just ambiguous enough to be truly terrifying to a newbie belayer four pitches up the first route they've climbed. I can hear their thots: "Oh shit, the one fucking person my life depends upon up in this hellish vertical wasteland has gone entirely The Shining on me!" So it got me thinking about the communication that goes on between leaders and belayers while one is up on a pitch. Obviously it depends a lot on the situation and the partner. Sometimes psychological counseling is required. Sometimes practical advice is called for. Sometimes silence, hunkering down and waiting for the bomb to drop is the best option. But there's a lot of classic dialogue that goes on in leader/belayer interactions. I'll admit I can't help but break out the "are you in a good place where I can take you off belay?" question when a green leader is freaking out in a psychologically intimidating but entirely safe spot. I'll also admit I have a bad habit of laughing uncontrollably at my partners when they are sketching on lead in safe situations. I just can't help it, perhaps because I've been there many times. I guess you could call it empathy--I see they are safe, so there is little sense of gravity, but I can relate to emotions and so I am indeed laughing with them. Most of the time anyway. Not long ago, I was climbing a fairly popular WA route. For the first few pitches my partner had been mentioning she needed to take a crap, but the belays were mostly hanging and there were no ledges on which to drop trou. As I belayed my partner up the fifth pitch, she said "I just shit my pants." A simple non emotional statement of fact. I suppose she knew I'd figure it out anyway when she joined me at the tiny stance above. I promised her there was a big ledge at the end off the next pitch. The next pitch was a long one, involving a mantle on a small (2 by 2) ledge halfway up. Following, she pulled the mantle then the dialogue went as follows: "Off belay!" she yelled up to me. "What?!? Are you in a safe place?" I yelled back. "There's a good ledge up here if you can hold it!" I yelled down. "I'm shitting now!" she yelled up, undoing her harness faster than Houdini. "OK, you're off belay--Shit on!" I yelled down. I tried to avert my eyes from her lovely squatting form 80 feet below, but was not entirely sucessful. Seeing a young wheaten haired lassie free solo shitting on a ledge no bigger then her shadow 500 feet off the ground is just not a sight you see everyday. "Oh my god!" she exclaimed in an almost orgasmic voice. The smell wafted up the cliff. "Oh my god," I thought, cringing. I strained against the creeping gods of hysteria. "I'm doubled back and ready to climb," she said a couple minutes later. "You on belay, poop on!" I yelled down, breaking into hysterical laughter, unable to contain myself anymore. She took it the right way and arrived at the belay visibly relieved--if somewhat aromatic--and saddled up and finished off the climb in good form. Sorry to those who follow and pull the mantle move only to discover a technical turd traverse. Case studies in experimental human psychology, eh? So what kind of weird/funny/terrifying belayer/partner communications have you experienced or witnessed?

The hand traverse option below the first big roof sounds like fun. I did the foot traverse there, tho it make placing a an ankle height piece to keep me out of the corner an awkward and balancy exercise in creative yogic contortions. Thanks for the link up beta.

Nice pics kids. I was up there this week, (didn't do the number 2 on the ledge tho!) and man, some of the alternate last pitch finishing options look pretty cool, like the wide clean 5.8 chimney lieback you rap past or the 9/10a flaring squeeze chimney--wow! I'd have to say that I was a bit dissapointed at the ratio of 3rd-4th choss scrambling to nice solid rock on the climb tho.

Sorry, no pics. I assume the FA will post topo sometime since they have for some of their other new routes. Meanwhile, just follow the directions to the parking area, find the well marked trail, follow to rock, climb ridge and enjoy! The technical climbing is discontinuous--as you'd expect on a longish route with a few pitches of 5.7--but I think it might become a popular easy route--longer than the beckey route, but more learner friendly than some nearby 5.8 routes like S butt cutt. The rock quality on the 5th class pitches is very good for the grade and area.

Climb: Spontaniety Arete-Le Petit Cheval Date of Climb: 7/8/2004 Trip Report: Heard word of a new route up at WaPass, went up there yesterday to check it out. Stopped by Mazama and borrowed the only copy of the topo, which is posted on the NC mountain guides bulletin board outside the store. The route is Le Petit Cheval on Spontaniety Arete, (5.7, II+, FAs Scott Johnson and Larry Goldie). Overall, an enjoyable outing with a short approach. Around 7 pitches of 5th class to 5.7 and probably an equal amount of class 2-4 scrambling. The highlights are several very nice pitches of low angle clean hand cracks. The lowlights are the several pitches of bushwhacking in between the nice pitches and the somewhat tedious descent gully. (Bring your approach shoes!) The climb reminded me somewhat of the South Butt on Cutthroat. The route follows a wide, most low angle rock rib with tree belays the whole way. The lack of comittment makes it a good beginner climb, as it's possible in several places to scramble or rap into the gully and walk back to the base. The quickest descent option is to scramble down easy ground for a couple hundred feet from the top, then into the obvious (for reals!) descent gully. The FAs did a great job on the trail--once you find it, it's obvious all the way. (Thanks for all the work!) Takes a bit over an hour to the base of the rock. That afternoon we returned the wrinkled but usable topo to the bulletin board in Mazama. Gear Notes: small alpine rack, one rope. Approach Notes: Park at the W end the the pullout just W of mp 165 on the north cascades highway. (This is about halfway between the approach to the wine spires and the big hairpin turn below WaPass) trail goes down steep rocky bank into largest nearby trees. Follow well marked trail down across creek and then up through some sections of scrambling with fixed ropes to big snag at base of rock.

Ten Step Program: Take beginners in sneakers into the mountains (the journey grasshoppa), find a route that is uncrowded, give them a harness, show them how to belay, tell them not to leave anything behind or they will pay for it, climb a multipitch route you think they could climb, place gear that an aluminum medalist at the special olympics could clean, top out on a real geographic feature with stupenfuckintacular views, roast, descend to hearty meal and beerverages. Either they will love to climb or they will never step out of the godblessedcar in the mountains again.