movie quotes

[avypoodle]

*# Let me tell you what Like A Virgin is about. It's all about a girl who digs a guy with big dick. The entire song is a metaphor for big dicks. *# No, it ain't..It's about a girl who's very vulnerable. She's been fucked over a few times and she meets a guy who's sensitive. *# Whow whoa whoa, timeout. Tell that fucking bullshit to the tourists. *#Toby? who the fuck is Toby? *# Like A Virgin is not about some sensitive girl who meets a nice fella. That's what True Blue is about. No argument about that. *# Which one is True Blue? *# True Blue was a big-ass hit for Madonna. I don't even follow that top-of-the-pops shit, and I've heard of True Blue. *#I didn't say I ain't heard of it. All I asked is how's it go? Excuse me for not being the world's biggest Madonna fan. *# Personally I can do without her. *# I used to like her early stuff, Borderline...but once she got off with that -Papa, don't preach- phase, I tuned out. *# Hey, you guys are making me lose my train of thought here. I was saying something, what was it? *# Oh Toby's that little Chinese girl. What was her last name? *# What's that? *# Well, it's an old address book I found in a coat I haven't worn in a coon's age. What was that name? *# What the fuck was I talking about? *# You said True Blue was about a guy and sensitive girl who meets a nice guy but Like A Virgin was a metaphor for big dicks. *# OK, let me tell you what Like A Virgin is about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine. I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick! *# How many dicks is that? *# A lot.. *# Then one day, she meets this John Holmes motherfucker and it' like -whooaa baby- I mean this cad is like Charles Bronson in -The Great Escape- he's digging tunnels. Now she's getting serious dick action. She's feeling something she ain't felt since forever...Pain, pain. *# Chew? Toby Chew? *# It hurts..It hurts her. It shouldn't hurt her. Y'know her pussy should be Bubble-Yum by now. But when this cad fucks her, it hurts. It hurts just like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a fuck machine what it was once like to be a virgin. Hence, -Like A Virgin-. *# Wong... *# Give me that fucking thing. *# What the hell you think you're doing? Give me my book back. *# I'm sick of fucking hearing it Joe. I'll give it back to you when we leave. *# What do you mean -we leave-? Give me it back now! *# For the past fifteen minutes now, you've been drowning on about names. Toby..Toby? Toby? Toby Wong. Toby Wong? Toby Wong. Toby Chung? fucking Charlie Chan..I've got Madonna's big dick coming out of my left ear, and Toby the Jap, I don't know what, coming out of my right! *# Gice me thet book. *# Are you gonna put it away? *# I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want with it. *# Well, then I'm afraid I'm gonna have to keep it. *# Hey Joe..Want me to shoot this guy? *# Shit. *# You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize...

[ScottP]

Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. The Yankee's manager

gave me a job as coach for as long as your on the team. Costello: Look Abbott, if your the coach, you must know all the players. Abbott: I certainly do. Costello: Well you know I've net the guys. So you'll have to tell me

their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team. Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give

these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names. Costello: You mean funny names?

Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean... Costello: His brother Daffy Abbott: Daffy Dean... Costello: And their French cousin. Abbott: French? Costello: Goofe' Abbott: Goofe' Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third... Costello: That's what I want to find out. Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third. Costello: Are you the manager? Abbott: Yes. Costello: You gonna be the coach too? Abbott: Yes. Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names. Abbott: Well I should. Costello: Well then who's on first? Abbott: Yes. Costello: I mean the fellow's name. Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy on first. Abbott: Who. Costello: The first baseman. Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy playing... Abbott: Who is on first! Costello: I'm asking you who's on first. Abbott: That's the man's name.

Costello: That's who's name? Abbott: Yes. Costello: Well go ahead and tell me. Abbott: That's it. Costello: That's who? Abbott: Yes.

 

PAUSE

 

Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman? Abbott: Certainly. Costello: Who's playing first? Abbott: That's right. Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money? Abbott: Every dollar of it. Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base. Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy that gets... Abbott: That's it. Costello: Who gets the money... Abbott: He does, every dollar of it.Sometimes his wife comes down and coll-

ects it. Costello: Who's wife? Abbott: Yes.

 

PAUSE

 

Abbott: What's wrong with that? Costello: wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how

does he sign his name? Abbott: Who. Costello: The guy. Abbott: Who. Costello: How does he sign... Abbott: That's how he signs it. Costello: Who? Abbott: Yes.

 

PAUSE

 

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guys name on first base. Abbott: No. What is on second base. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first. Costello: One base at a time! Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.tello: I'm not changing nobody! Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.

Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base? Abbott: That's right.

Costello: Ok. Abbott: Alright.

 

PAUSE

 

Costello: What's the guy's name on first base? Abbott: No. What is on second. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first. Costello: I don't know. Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him. Costello: Now how did I get on third base? Abbott: Why you mentioned his name. Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing

third? Abbott: No. Who's playing first. Costello: What's on base? Abbott: What's on second. Costello: I don't know. Abbott: He's on third. Costello: There I go, back on third again!

 

PAUSE

 

Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it. Abbott: Alright, what do you want to know? Costello: Now who's playing third base? Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base? Costello: What am I putting on third. Abbott: No. What is on second. Costello: You don't want who on second? Abbott: Who is on first. Costello: I don't know. Together: Third base!

 

PAUSE

 

Costello: Look, you gotta outfield? Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The left fielder's name? Abbott: Why. Costello: I just thought I'd ask you. Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya. Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field. Abbott: Who's playing first. Costello: I'm not...stay out of the infield!!! I want to know what's the

guy's name in left field? Abbott: No, What is on second. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first! Costello: I don't know. Together: Third base!

 

PAUSE

 

Costello: The left fielder's name? Abbott: Why. Costello: Because! Abbott: Oh, he's center field.

 

PAUSE

 

Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team? Abbott: Sure. Costello: The pitcher's name? Abbott: Tomorrow. Costello: You don't want to tell me today? Abbott: I'm telling you now. Costello: Then go ahead. Abbott: Tomorrow! Costello: What time? Abbott: What time what?

Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching? Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching. Costello: I'll break your arm if you say who's on first!!! I want to know what's the pitcher's name? Abbott: What's on second.Costello: I don't know. Together: Third base!

 

PAUSE

 

Costello: Gotta a catcher? Abbott: Certainly. Costello: The catcher's name? Abbott: Today. Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching. Abbott: Now you've got it. Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.

 

PAUSE

 

Costello: You know I'm a catcher too. Abbott: So they tell me. Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitch-

ing on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who? Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right. Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!

 

PAUSE

 

Abbott: That's all you have to do. Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base. Abbott: Yes! Costello: Now who's got it? Abbott: Naturally.

 

PAUSE

 

Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Who? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Naturally? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally. Abbott: No you don't you throw the ball to Who. Costello: Naturally. Abbott: That's different. Costello: That's what I said. Abbott: Your not saying it... Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally. Abbott: You throw it to Who. Costello: Naturally. Abbott: That's it. Costello: That's what I said! Abbott: You ask me.

Costello: I throw the ball to who? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Now you ask me. Abbott: You throw the ball to Who? Costello: Naturally. Abbott: That's it. Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU!!! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is

drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!

Abbott: What? Costello: I said I don't give a darn! Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop.

 

[ 04-25-2002, 11:27 AM: Message edited by: ScottP ]