Battle Royale Thread: Take 2

[JoshK]

http://slate.msn.com/id/2096191/

 

Haha...this one should entertain us for a while. Ironically the picture is of an H2 offroading. I'll give the H1 props where it is due, it's one hellavu vehicle off road. The H2 (also known as the Chevy Tahoe with stupid ass looking body) is mediocre off-road.

 

Anyway, some quotes...

 

"After 9/11, Hummers became a cocky symbol of American greatness. Driving the biggest, baddest, least-fuel-efficient car on the planet was tantamount to giving the finger to environmentalists..."

 

"You could be an active home-front warrior by buying an expensive Hummer—imitating our troops in Iraq and stimulating the economy at the same time. (Hummers also come in handy in case you need to mount a motorized assault on the Stop-n-Shop.)"

 

"In January 2004, just 1,927 Hummers were sold—off nearly 50 percent from December 2003, and down by one third from January 2003. The future doesn't look very bright, either. Business Week reported there are 68 days worth of Hummers in inventory, and that GM has throttled back its 2004 sales forecast from 40,000 to 30,000."

 

"The sales drop reflects simple common sense. The Hummer is a mediocre car, with the quality ratings to show for it."

 

Have at it!

[cracked]

Hummers are gay. End of story.

[swaterfall]

My fav is fake thingys on the wheels of the H2 that make it look like they have the on-the-fly tire pressure adjustment like the H1. Now that is stupid.

[JoshK]

My fav is fake thingys on the wheels of the H2 that make it look like they have the on-the-fly tire pressure adjustment like the H1. Now that is stupid.

 

 

HAHA.yeah, that one is great. The ultimate tho is the technique of raising the body way above the chassis to give the high ground clearance appearance while doing nothing but raising your center of gravity higher than the already lousy Tahoe.

 

I think I am going to buy a unimog and paint a giant banner on either side saying "HUMMERS ARE FOR PUSSIES" or something like that