Special High Intensity Training

[Double_E]

To: All employees

From: The management

Re: Special High Intensity Training

 

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T)

 

We are trying to give all employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager.

 

You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).

 

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T S.H.I.T) Since our managers took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, as they are full of S.H.I.T already.

 

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in job training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L S.H.I.T). Those who are full of B.U.L.L S.H.I.T will get the S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply for promotion to the Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P S.H.I.T)

 

If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head of Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T S.H.I.T)

[Dan_Harris]

An oldie but a goody. Haven't seen it in awhile.