klenke Posted January 22, 2004 Posted January 22, 2004 >Subject: FW: Wal-Mart > > >Good 'ole Walmart....can't go wrong w/ 'em!! > > > >One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." > >"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Stan replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a doctor." >So Bob deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks." > >That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog,! urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Bob hurries >back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, >pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. > >The computer prints the following: >1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. >2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. >3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. >4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. >5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get >better. > >Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart Quote
EWolfe Posted January 22, 2004 Posted January 22, 2004 Here's some Jacko jokes I heard today: Q:What does Michael Jackson like about twenty eight year-olds? A: There's twenty of them! Q: Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz-to-Men? A: He thought it was a delivery service! Q: What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? A: Pardon me, could you move? You're in my son. Quote
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