Back From Banff!

[genepires]

Damn, it sounds like the classic rockies ice trip. The approaches are as dangerous as the climb and if you get three pitches a day, you rock! Too bad about the crowds. If you want some advice, go in december/january. There is less light and usually a little colder (sounds like it was even colder on your trip than ours in december) but the crowds are still in colorado. Also, all the people there are really cool in the early season, unlike the "spring break" crowds now. Thanks for the trip report and keep the tools swingin.

[daler]

Heinous,

guiness is in fact in. My buds climbed it several days prior to your report date and said it was in fine shape. the first pitch is almost always thin.are you sure you were in the correct gully.

dale

[Heinouscling]

Hey Dudes! I'm back from a great trip to Banff.Well, needless to say, I'm a little worn out and spacey in the head right now but I will try to jot down a few words about my trip.

So, immediately after I posted the "Hey FUCKERS, I'm off to Banff!!" post a week ago, I took off from my cube, jumped into my truck, and picked up my climbing shit at my apartment. Drove from Portland to Seattle where I met my partner. We went out and ate a HUUUGE teriyaki dinner. I then tried to grab a few hours sleep on the floor of his apartment but I felt like I had a bowling ball sitting in my stomach. Didn't sleep too well. We got up at 4 AM Saturday morning and made it to Banff in twelve hours through a nasty snow storm. Snow in Banff, not good for us. Avy danger. Oh well, take the cards that are handed to you and make the best of it.

Arrived at the Banff Hostel and checked in. Found out our room is not much bigger than a walkin closet. Shit! Oh well, take the cards that are handed to you. Thirty bucks Canadian a night in Banff. What does one expect?

Got up at 6 AM Sunday morning. Decided to warm up and get our system dialed in at Johnston canyon. -20 F outside. Friggin cold outside! Climbed til Noon at Johnston despite the cold. Decided to take the rest of the day off since we had seven more days of climbing ahead and needed to pace ourselves. Went back to Banff and grabbed a brew at The Rose And Crown. Watched the Canadians celebrate winning the gold in Men's Hockey. A sizable mob formed up in the middle of the main intersection in downtown Banff. A brave soul was running circles in the intersection NAKED with The Maple Leaf draped over his crotch like a loin cloth. Very brave since it was -10 F outside. The Maple Leaf probably wasn't needed since his pecker was probably the size of a thimble in those temps. Partner and I were hoping a woman would do the same. No luck. Mounties then showed up. Hauled away a few and got some snowballs thrown at them. They were not happy.

Monday morning. Partner and I up at 5 AM. Headed to Lake Louise. Got to Lake Louise Falls and stared up at the crux second pitch which involved pulling around a roof. This is going to be fun. Partner led the first pitch. I did the second. Pulling the roof wasn't bad. Lots of hooks. Great fun! Grabbed a Mocha at the chateau. Then headed back to Banff and soaked in the hot springs and then drank some beer afterwards. Life was good.

Tuesday morning. Up at 4:30 AM. Time for Weeping Wall. Got to the wall at 7 AM. Decided to do the left side. Several parties then showed up shortly afterwards. Uh oh, here we go. Can you say "Zoo"? A pair from Colorado decides to lead a line near us to our left. My partner leads the first pitch. I lead the second. While doing the second, my partner yells up "Theres some guy leading up right below you". I yell back "Well, he shouldn't be there.". Fucking moron (the guy below me, that is). I get to a nice belay ledge and bring my partner up. The pair to our left sets up a belay also. Partner takes off on the third pitch. Dude from the pair on the left takes off. A few minutes later I hear the dude yell very loudly "IIIICE" repeatedly. Look up. See an ice chunk about the size of a 27" television headed straight for me. I quickly become one with the wall. The chunk falls behind me and also narrowly misses the dude's wife on my left who is belaying him. Fucking asshole almost took me out when he traversed directly over me. God Damn Bastards! Partner and I decide we must be more stern with fuckers who arrive after us and want to climb near us. Proceed to rap Snivelling gully. A pair from England is climbing it. Fucking Brits all over the place. We make the first rap and find out we are susceptible to ice fall from the Brit pair climbing the gully. Fortunately the second of the pair is topping out on the last pitch. We hide from his ice. The dude looks to be somewhat fat and is knocking down a ton of ice on what looks to be an easy grade three follow. Asshole! Partner and I complete the rap. Time for hotsprings and beer.

Wednesday morning. Old bones say its time for a day off. I'm 35 and my partner is 40. We partied like sailors the night before. Damn, am I getting old?

Thursday morning. We're up at 5 AM. Drive to Field. Hike the wrong approach for Guiness Gully. Run back to the truck. Discover Guiness gully is looking very thin. First pitch is not in. Seems to be the case for many of the climbs around Banff. First two pitches of Professors is not in either. Its a thin ice year. Drive up the Icefields Parkway to Num-Te-Ja Lodge to do Bow Falls. Hike to base of Bow Falls. One and a half hour hike. Next year we will have skis. Examine the huge cornice overhanging the approach and part of the first pitch of Bow Falls. Not today. Get back to the truck and decide to do some ice cragging at Haffner. Climb til dark at Haffner. Decide to hit the climber's party going on in Canmore to celebrate the release of Jo Jo's new Canadian Rockies ice climbing guide, which we've been using the last few days. Discover a raging party going on. A couple of hundred ice climbers present and probably some of Canada's best. I especially appreciate the climbing gals getting down to their little sports bras on the dance floor. Damn those chicks are ripped.

Friday morning. Discover my left knee is tweaked from the night before. Oh well. Grit my teeth and keep on climbing. Decide to check out Grovelling Gully by Canmore. Discover a guided group has dominated the place. Gee, what a surprise. They have TRs all over the place and are hacking the shit out of the few climbs available. Fucking dicks! Destroying precious ice so they can make a buck. We sneak the gully climb in while they are on their lunch break. We have no chance to do "His" and "Hers". Bastards have their beginner climbers lined up to TR them. Fucking prick guides. Many are uncool and I despise them. Some guides are cool but the pricks give them a bad rap. Too bad for the cool guides. Partner and I head to "Evans" whatchamakcallit canyon in Kananaskis country to check out Moonlight and the other climbs. We do the hour long hike. Damn, its not in. Frickin thin ice year. Time for beer in Banff.

Saturday morning. Up at 6 AM. Decide to do the Golden climbs. Its our last day so we need to go somewhere reliable. We get to the base of Pretty Nuts and find a gaggle of Brit climbers administering first aid on some poor bastard who somehow gashed his head open. We attempt to ascertain what happened. All we can get out of the group is that the fella hit his head against the adze of one of his tools when he slipped during the approach. Pretty Nuts involves about a twenty yard approach from the highway. Partner and I offer assistance but there was already too many cooks in the kitchen. Ambulance shows up and hauls the poor fella away. His buddies leave also. Well, we feel sorry for the poor fella but we had Pretty Nuts to ourselves. Cool! Time to climb. We do the hardest line up the right side which involved some fun grade 4. Its a long pitch and we have to simulclimb a bit in order for me to get to the tree belay at the top. My partner then leads the short, but fun, grade 4 lead at the top. We rap and then hike to Essondale Left. Damn! Two climbers are on it. They are topping out so we wait for them to rap. Dudes are slower then old people fucking. They take over an hour to rap a two pitch climb. They finally get their slow asses off. Partner and I are climbing good and we're up and off in a little over two hours. Easy climbing but fun. Time for beer. As we are driving away, we see that Essondale Right is looking very good. Damn, we should have done it.

Sunday morning. Up at 7 AM. Time for a long drive home. Luckily for my partner, the noxious beer farts I was spewing lasted for only a short time. I didn't want to piss off my partner because his asshole can almost be considered a lethal weapon and he has a long memory. We leave Banff at around 8:30 and arrive back in Seattle around 7 PM which involved a stop for pizza in North Bend.

A good trip to Banff even though its a rather shitty year and the avy danger was high. With any luck, in ten months my partner and I will be back.

For any of you going soon, climbers told us Murchison and Gibraltar are in good condition.

-Heinous

[ 03-04-2002: Message edited by: Heinouscling ]

[ 03-04-2002: Message edited by: Heinouscling ]

[Heinouscling]

quote:

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Originally posted by daler:

Heinous,

guiness is in fact in. My buds climbed it several days prior to your report date and said it was in fine shape. the first pitch is almost always thin.are you sure you were in the correct gully.

dale

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Hey Dale,

We scoped it from the Trans Canada and talked to a couple of other climbers. I'm sure it was doable but we were looking for fat ice, since we were in The Canadian Rockies after all. We can't be for certain we were looking at Guiness since neither of us has done it yet. I did stand at the base of it about 3 years ago but was not able to do it due to too many parties on it. I remember the first pitch being fat. The other climbers that did it around two weeks prior stated that stubbies were necessary for the first pitch. That was before a Chinook had rolled through. Maybe the Chinook made it even thinner.

By the way, do you know who I am? Greg. I live here in Portland now. Lisa and I ran into you and Stimpy at Lake Louise about 3 years ago. It was bad timing since Lisa and I were in the middle of a scrap. We had drank a brew with you and Stimpy at The Rose And Crown. So, hows life Dale? Climbing hard I see. Thats good. You and I both. Still going to Smith? If so, I'm sure I will see you there since its sort of become a hangout for me now.

Climb on Dale.

-Heinous