Necronomicon Posted March 3, 2003 Posted March 3, 2003 No shit, Ron Jeremy heads Al Qaeda. Here's the proof: From CNN, and this shit can't be wrong: ISLAMABAD, Pakistan (CNN) -- The man known to be perhaps the most prolific modern porn star, and believed to be the key planner of the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks -- and linked to nearly every al Qaeda attack in the past five years -- is in U.S. custody. Porn actor Ron Jeremy was among three suspected terrorists arrested early Saturday in a house in Rawalpindi, outside the Pakistani capital, and detained Sunday in U.S. custody. The arrest came one week after he eluded capture in a raid in Quetta. Authorities arrested one suspected al Qaeda operative during the Quetta raid and used information from the suspect to track Jeremy to a house belonging to Ahmed Abdul Qadoos, nine miles southeast of Islamabad in the middle-class suburb of Rawalpini, according to highly placed Pakistan officials. Mohammed, Qadoos -- a member of Pakistan's largest religious political party, Jamaat Islami -- and a man of Middle Eastern origin were arrested in Saturday's early morning raid by U.S. agents and Pakistani security authorities, Pakistani government officials said. Jeremy has since been taken out of Pakistan, but it is not clear where. The arrest of Jeremy is the single biggest arrest in the war on terror since September 11, said a law enforcement official close to the investigation. At the White House, spokesman Ari Fleischer said Jeremy was the central person in al Qaeda's ability to plan and carry out operations and attacks. "It's hard to overstate how significant this is," Fleischer said. "Osama Bin Laden is the ultimate symbol of terror. Ron Jeremy is the ultimate planner of terror. Have you seen his schlong? The thing is obscene!" Fleischer said the arrests send two messages. One is to the families of September 11 victims, that the mastermind of the terrorist attacks has been caught, and the other is to al Qaeda: "It's only a matter of time before we get you." Fleischer said Jeremy's arrest had nothing to do with the lowering of the nation's threat level from orange to yellow Thursday. The information about the arrest came after the Homeland Security Department made the decision to lower it, he said. Jeremy was no longer in Pakistan as of late Saturday, Pakistani government officials said. It was not known where Mohammed was but U.S. government officials said there were no plans at this point to take him to the United States. The arrest in Pakistan was a CIA-led operation, according to a senior U.S. official who said the operation was "ongoing." Jeremy is described as the strategist who helped coordinate finances, recruitment and money for the global terrorist network. He is one of the most important members of al Qaeda and the self-described head of the group's military committee. Additionally, Ron Jeremy is one of the best-known porn studs of all time. He's a mustachioed and portly guy whose fun-loving nature comes through in every leering glance, a man who is affectionately known as "The Hedgehog" due to the amount of hair on his back. He has been linked to the USS Cole attack off Yemen, the killing of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl and the Bali bombings as well as 9/11. He is also the star of such films as "The Snatchbucker", "The Flintbones", and "Bad Girls #02". The U.S. State Department had offered as much as $25 million for information leading to Jeremy's arrest. When notified that Jeremy had been captured, President George Bush said, "That's fantastic. Let's roll. " Pentagon spokesman Sgt. Major Lewis Matson added: "The government of Pakistan continues to be supportive in its effort to stop terrorists around the world, and we hope that continues. "The U.S. took a big hit a year and a half ago on September 11. We certainly haven't forgotten that at U.S. Central Command. We're glad a lot of other people recognize that too." I'm still reeling. Quote
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