Fear not. I've asked congress to commit our half trillion dollar military budget towards the purchase of Vespas, ironic looking goggles, bike messenger packs, and retro 60s helmets, for every truck and SUV driving American. All SUVs will be confiscated and remanufactured into really large, visually impactful windmills, painted by hippies to look like huge magic mushrooms and other fanciful themes, to be located primarily on suburban lawns, which will be taken under eminent domain. Our oil troubles will be over in six months.
The remainder of the United States military will be used to annex Costa Rica, Fiji, Rio de Janeiro, New Zealand, and other prime vacation spots around the globe.
sir, sir.... do not forget jamaica!!! maaan