Fonspa

Ok. I see everyone is sufficiently creeped out but why did this topic die? Skwerls or snaffles, whatever you call them, are a major pain in the ass. I live in an urban area and kill 10 to 15 a week with a pellet gun and a lot more with poison. They just keep coming. Most people look out the window at "that darn skwerl" and don't realize it's an army of hundreds of clones that occupy an area meant for half a dozen. They are garbage eating disease bags.....

That's a pretty good guess but my mother-in-law explained it this way. She said that a big dawg was an elongated pussy that protruded though the pants of the afflicted person in such a way that they denied it's existance. She also went on to tell me about other variations such as the puss dick and the pumpkin crotch. Oh also her favorite nick for one of her sisters, "Black Pussy". I guess the fact that she came from a family of 17 inspired a lot of bizarre sibling insanity especially since they were dirt poor.

I had an aunt in Texas. All her sisters called her "big dog". What do you suppose they meant?

Small dogs can be very tenacious. I used to be a mailman. That's how I refined my climbing skills.

Concentration moon, over the camp in the valley. Concentration moon, wish I was back in the alley. With all of my friends still running free, hair growing out every hole in me... Poor Frank. Went at such a tender age.

Ooops. You meant your family maybe? I hear whispering all the time. It interferes with the voices..

I wasn't whispering.

A serial killer. That implies something monstrous. I don't even kill all the skwerls. I just thin out the over population so the remaining rats can live a happy life enjoying what is now abundancy.

Thanks for sharing Arch. The damn things have no redeeming characteristics and that's a fact!

Clint initiated this post. I think he has skwerl problems. Why hasn't anyone offered any constructive advice? Could it be that you are all unconcerned dickheads? May a thousand skwerls descend upon you and your posessions. Snide one liners won't solve the rat problems.

Lets hear it.

So how about an opinion about squirrel problems, Archie? This is the topic. Smarten us up.

I was looking around and noticed that many here like to wax poetic. Here's one of my favorite skwerl poems. I hate the little skwerly thing ugly little rat! I'd like to knock him from the tree and feed him to a cat. That's if the cat would eat him, I don't think he will the pointy claws and bushy tail would make the kitty ill. I hate the little skwerly thing with eyeballs all agog, I'd like to knock him to the ground and feed him to the dog. That's if the dog would eat him, how could he stand the taste? those bucky teeth, those beady eyes would be the parts he'd waste I hate the little skwerly thing creepy evil stare! I'd like to poke him with a stick and feed him to a bear. That's if the bear would eat him, I don't think that he would. honey's not so hairy, and it tastes twice as good. I hate the little skwerly thing it tears up all my plants! I'd like to see it pizza-ized by two big elephants. That's if elephants will do it, I think they're too evolved, I bet they'd tap dance on it if a peanut were involved! I hate the little skwerly thing grisly death is not enough they should get a skwerl plague or that ebola stuff. Thats if they wouldn't spread it, you know theyre gonna try they hate us all with skwerlish zeal and want us all to die!

The people that are getting rich are the skwerlhuggers and the con artists selling coyote piss, ultrasonic bullshit and all the rest. And that brings us back to Pissss....

Nah, that wouldn't work. They would still run amuck for 5 or 6 years, if you spayed them young, and do all the usual skwerl things.

That actually sounds like a plan. Spay the skwerls, but I can't afford to fund such a program.

Heh, you people aren't lacking in ascerbicism. I think I'll learn a lot here.

I don't keep "pets".

Anyway, the topic was skwerls or "snaffles". What's the derivation of that word? I ask in a sincere polite way. The best and safest way to deal with skwerls is to set out as many havahart traps that you figure you need, baited with a little pb. To keep expenses down, you can drown the skwerls by dropping the cage in any large container. A garbage can, horse trough, pond, creek. Whatever you have. I don't like to watch them drown so I finish them with a pellet gun instead. I live in an urban area and can't use a real firearm on my property During the winter and spring, I use what I call my bird-proof skwerl feeder. It's an 8' long tube around 4" in diameter made of heavy gauge 1/4" mesh, the kind you use for sifting garden soil. I wrap the center with 2' of visqueen to keep the rain from ruining the bait that's placed in a heavy bowl in the center. Then I just lash the tube, with duct tape, to a 10' 2" by 6" or 12". I also wrap the ends of the tube with heavy canvas and cut a slit in the ends. Birds won't enter but skwerls will. Skwerls love a challenge. The bait it just a mixture of Decon green pellet rat and mouse poison mixed with peanut butter. It's best to dump the Decon in boiling water and let it soften into a mush before you mix it with the pb. Don't use your oatmeal pot... If it isn't in a very mushy form the skwerls will carry it off which may pose a threat to other living things. You also have to put the bait in a very heavy container or secure it very well as you see fit. They will try to drag the whole container away if they can and this may pose a hazard as well. I don't reccomend this system if you or your neighbors have kids, pets... you have to use good sense and consider every possibility. Predatory birds or even the guy next doors dog might get sick when the rat crawls over there and die in its dining area. Skwerls are diurnal so if you give a rats ass about skunks, possum, racoons or other things that creep in the night you should secure you traps and "feeder" in the evening. I put mine in the garage. There are a lot of scams around that claim to repel skwerls. None of them work. When the skwerl population explodes in an urban area it has to be thinned out. The remaining skwerls are healthy and nonevasive.

Oh man that's funny. I remember an East Indian doctor I had that overheard me talking to his nurse, accusing him of that same practice. He was not pleased.

Wow. I thought I was the only one that did that. Better go empty em before the wife finds them. I guess we all learned something from ole Howard Hughes.

This is true. Thanks.

That's funny. Do you think you are have some sort of special trait that qualifies all your opinions? Why don't you tell us about all the times you have been wrong.

Vice versa bud...

Lighten up. It's just skwerls for Chists sake. I didn't read your post very carefully the first time. It seemed unwarranted and too lengthy. I reread it carefully and now understand your point. Are you going to post your next opinion in hieroglyphics?