Scottish_wanker

quote: Originally posted by trask: quote:Originally posted by Scottish wanker: quote:Originally posted by trask: Well, you're the pussy that came in here talkin' shit about cc.comers, and what a big schlong you had under that cute little kilt. Go easy on that cloven hoof now, ya hear?! bwahahaha Trask, climbing with a kilt has many advantages. I submitted the following to Twight but for some reason it was not included in his opus grande. I suspect it will be in the second edition. viz. 1. Climbing with a kilt virtually reduces the condensation problem and reduces fluid loss caused by excessive sweating due to the cooling affect of the wind rattling around your jewels.Thus it is ideal for the fast and light concept. 2. Self Arrest. In a fall on neve, the kilt is swept upwards by the friction on the snow, revealing the one-eyed milk man ( as we call HIM in scotland) which, if properly aroused forms another self arresting device in addition to your trusty ice-axe. 3.Urination: No need for pit zips, patagonia super fly system etc. If you need to go, let gravity do it's work. With Gore-tex gaiters, the time saved can be considerable on a single-push effort in the Alaska range. 4.Gear racking; On big-wall climbs the second when immediately below the leader has a very convenient, shall we say groove to reach up and temporarily inset gear when making those crucial switch overs when speed climbing on the Nose. 5. Aid: the old timers called it combined tactics when they climbed onto the others shoulders to reach a sloper. With kilt climbing the second ,when below the leader can hand jam to reach that crucial hold that will allow a clean aid ascent. The crack is 5.10 thin hands only please and wipes are needed in the haul bag. I hope this educates you to some of the new wave thinking we Scots are bringing to the game. Trask, Oh great one, that is the finest piece of Scottish ass that I have seen since I last lokked in the mirror. Thank you. Please be my mentor!!!!!

quote: Originally posted by richard noggin: quote:Originally posted by Scottish wanker: Hey don't take it personally, generalizations are always dangerous but you have to admit, if you are honest that there is a trend in the climbing culture here towards my extreme example. Bye the way FKU2. FKU2 Dude thats spelled PH-Q-2 Let's get it right next time Thank you chief Wanker, I am a foreign devil in a new land and these corrections to my spray are greatly appreicated--

quote: Originally posted by Dru: I think the real reason Scots dont wear undies under the kilt is cause the classic kilt is wool and so it makes them feel closer to the sheep... Here is the wartime bloomer news article link. No NPR here its from the BBC! http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/2221824.stm Youve fallen for English propagranda, look at the bottom of the link where it says " more English new". It's just more evidence of the malicious vendetta these English have against us poor we Scots and you are helping them. May the curse of a hundred haggis be upon you

quote: Originally posted by Off White: Hey, I just heard on the radio today that the Scots wore women's lingerie under their kilts in WWI until kilts were prohibited on the battlefield. Something about tights and bloomers saturated in some chemical to minimize mustard gas exposure. Heh heh, you know, eh what, doctors orders, got to wear 'em, nudge nudge, wink wink, there's a lad. Well laddie, I don't know aboot you, but on a desperate north face route even when I'm not wearing a kilt, I usually wear woman's underware, the frillier the better.What we say in Scotlsnd is" What does a real man wear, answer,anything he wants.

quote: Originally posted by Fence Sitter: scottish wanker! there's your chance to practice hand jams you fag... looks like rattly hands to me...scottishwnker and sexual chocolate are probably OW tho' No laddie, that there is 5.11c with a big jug above the chockstones.

quote: Originally posted by nolanr: To the Scottish wanker: I just gotta bust this one out again--wool keeps you warm and dry no matter how wet and cold you are. Not only warm and dry but it satisfies in other ways if you know what I mean, wink, wink!!!

See those nice white gaiters on that fine piece of Scottish manhood. I'm going to start producing them and a climbing gore-tex kilt under the name MaTavish'ryx. You guys want to place an order!! The belay betties will love it.

quote: Originally posted by iain: And more importantly, why can't you guys ever field a decent side for the World Cup? we are drinking and puking too much. Same qustion back to you bubba!!!!!!!!!!!!! there's 250 million of you guys!!!

quote: Originally posted by Cpt.Caveman: Wanker you obviously never climbed with me and my padnas. We fucking drink and party all night and puke at the base of our climbs and on route. My best climbs are with hangovers Dont't want to climb with you guys coz i've set myself up for the biggest sandbag in climbing history but the drinking and puking sounds good. My record for projectile vomiting is 6.5 ft. Beat that

quote: Originally posted by Dru: How come the Scottish, Welsh and Irish are the only ones the wimpy, pasty faced, offal gobbling, Marks & Spencer shopping, Princess Di fetishizing English have managed to oppress???? Aren't you ashamed of yourself? We are, and console ourselves by excessive drinking but remember it's called British Colombia and you were once, and some consider you Canadians, still, a colony of the English hordes.

quote: Originally posted by sk: obviously I don't know enough world history damn blonde roots are bleeding threw the dye job again after a brief visit with google, I found that you called me a name that basicly means english person... okay relativly true, but I am also Scotish, Irish, French Canadian, Welsh, and Native American and probably some other stuff too... what do ya have that means all that.. besides American You are forgiven, any Scottish blood releases you from the torment that awaits those of pure english blood.

Oh my god! what have I just joined?? This forum is frequented by phsyco's who use newbies unsuspecting questions to show their superiority and twisted dry humor that we Scots love so much. I'm finally somewhere where I can fit in !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

quote: Originally posted by sk: I do when I want to piss some one off who thinks he is "SO HARD CORE" bite my english ass wanker I wondered when the dreaded English would surface, those who have persecuted us poor Scots for centuires. For the record I am not hardcore, I can only climb 5.4 and on anything more than 35% I'm scared shitless .I am a wanker and proud of it.----- You Sassenach devils spawn of english blood.

quote: Originally posted by sk: they don't have poisen oak in scotland do the???? cause I would't climb in a skirt if some one paid me... well maybe if they paid me alot but jee wiz... I don't want poisen oak on my arse./ I strongly sugest pants, at least until you get above the tree line. It is not a skirt , it is a kilt. You must get your terminology right. Do we call a carabiner a" round metal thingy"

quote: Originally posted by trask: Well, you're the pussy that came in here talkin' shit about cc.comers, and what a big schlong you had under that cute little kilt. Go easy on that cloven hoof now, ya hear?! bwahahaha Trask, climbing with a kilt has many advantages. I submitted the following to Twight but for some reason it was not included in his opus grande. I suspect it will be in the second edition. viz. 1. Climbing with a kilt virtually reduces the condensation problem and reduces fluid loss caused by excessive sweating due to the cooling affect of the wind rattling around your jewels.Thus it is ideal for the fast and light concept. 2. Self Arrest. In a fall on neve, the kilt is swept upwards by the friction on the snow, revealing the one-eyed milk man ( as we call HIM in scotland) which, if properly aroused forms another self arresting device in addition to your trusty ice-axe. 3.Urination: No need for pit zips, patagonia super fly system etc. If you need to go, let gravity do it's work. With Gore-tex gaiters, the time saved can be considerable on a single-push effort in the Alaska range. 4.Gear racking; On big-wall climbs the second when immediately below the leader has a very convenient, shall we say groove to reach up and temporarily inset gear when making those crucial switch overs when speed climbing on the Nose. 5. Aid: the old timers called it combined tactics when they climbed onto the others shoulders to reach a sloper. With kilt climbing the second ,when below the leader can hand jam to reach that crucial hold that will allow a clean aid ascent. The crack is 5.10 thin hands only please and wipes are needed in the haul bag. I hope this educates you to some of the new wave thinking we Scots are bringing to the game.

quote: Originally posted by trask: I don't have the time. I'm off to the fridge for another beer. amen

4th class is tougher than 3rd class but less than low 5th class with pro. Take out the pro and it is 4a. Add choss and it is 4d or 5.0a/x/r but on the other hand if it has choss but good pro??? it then is 5.0b. 5.0c is used when there is good pro,choss and mist.If there is fog it becomes 5.0e/r. I hope this is no perfectly clear. Seriously form my limited experience up here ,4th class in the cascades is some serious stuff for the unprepared and unware. Good climbing, a few more posts and you'll be a wanker like me.

quote: Originally posted by trask: Well, you're the pussy that came in here talkin' shit about cc.comers, and what a big schlong you had under that cute little kilt. Go easy on that cloven hoof now, ya hear?! bwahahaha Whats a cc.comers, i need the lingo dude

quote: Originally posted by trask: I wouldn't know about the gear required. I'm into boats and cars and shit. I simply mention this option because of your semblance to a most auspicious scuba climber from Wenatchee. Keep talkin', your post count is growing. The thing I want to know is why is everybody picking on me about wool clothing? What's wrong with wool----it's sooooooo soft and smells soooo good and they have such pretty hooves, and that bleating sound they make when............I've gotta go

quote: Originally posted by trask: Personally I think you should look into scuba climbing. Gee I'm amazed by your biting wit. You have taken sarcasm to a new high........... Teach me Trask, teach me your secrets Oh great Spraylord, I beseech you. With suba climbing you can buy more gear right?

quote: Originally posted by Scottish wanker: quote:Originally posted by iain: Clearly you didn't see my TR about free soloing the ISS in a day. Let's see Mal Duff or Mr. McWhoever get his carcass up that thing in wool and knickers. It will only take you a few days here to realize the hardcores on this site rarely post at all, while the more mediocre ones spray away w/ glee. Remember there's a wide range of skill on this board, from those just getting on their first cascade peak to some of the most experienced climbers in the N.W. climbing the serious stuff. And somehow we get along occasionally! Glad to hear it and I'll look up your TR. Thanks for the education. Just being the devil's advocate..... Just thought of something you said.The more the spray, then the less the hardcore?! Are you the Hardcore/Spraylord exception to this rule??? Just trying to understand the rules you are teaching me....... the only reason I started this forum was because I want to get some posts quickly and become a real wanker and not a lurker anymore . I've always been a wanker and wanking is the only thing i'm good at.

quote: Originally posted by iain: Clearly you didn't see my TR about free soloing the ISS in a day. Let's see Mal Duff or Mr. McWhoever get his carcass up that thing in wool and knickers. It will only take you a few days here to realize the hardcores on this site rarely post at all, while the more mediocre ones spray away w/ glee. Remember there's a wide range of skill on this board, from those just getting on their first cascade peak to some of the most experienced climbers in the N.W. climbing the serious stuff. And somehow we get along occasionally! Glad to hear it and I'll look up your TR. Thanks for the education. Just being the devil's advocate.....

quote: Originally posted by iain: Take your porridge platypus and shove it up your poopshoot! Americans are well-known as the international sissies in extreme climbing. But look how many europeans die each year in the mountains. I don't mind having a lower tolerance for risk. Why don't you go hook up with Joe Simpson for a little Ben Nevis action? Your odds are about 50:50 right? Not bad. Who metioned anything about risk, in both examples they were solo climbers. It's about attitude! Recently met bunch og guys who had just done Ptarmigan Traverse. Spraying about how fast they did it and how easy it was.They were light and fast and had all he gear (and so would I have), but whose doing the equivalent of the Ptarmigan traverse in the N.Cascades today?? With our modern gear and training , climbers should be exceeding the rigours that that magnificent group accomplished in their old fashioned gear. Seems most I meet only want to repeat these feats in a faster time.Risk is not the issue..... shove your apple pie up your ass, pilgrim.

Good point about the gear and I'm no luddite either but I was attracted to climbimg as a way of life and never considered it a sport and I guess my point is that everything here seems to be focused on how high a grade, how fast etc and it's losing something. Jeeeeeeeeeeeez you guys are sure touchy, thought free speech and rigerous discussion was welcomed here...................pansy ass.

Hey don't take it personally, generalizations are always dangerous but you have to admit, if you are honest that there is a trend in the climbing culture here towards my extreme example. Bye the way FKU2.