Drink Away the Greenhouse Effect!

[G-spotter]

Vinod Khosla can make fuel-grade ethanol out of waste cellulose for $1.99 a gallon. That's cheaper than gasoline by quite a bit now. Waste cellulose is currently just that now - waste. Nobody is going to get starved by diverting corn and grain to make fuel here.

 

So okay, get this pitch: it's the American solution to climate change. It's all about giant, hybrid, boozy SUVs. These SUVs carry, not dainty little hippie batteries, but COLOSSAL REPUBLICAN batteries, batteries big enough to power your house. At night, you plug in the batteries and suck clean wind-power out off the grid.

You drive around your neighborhood on Texan and Kansan wind-power. Wind is always a patchy resource, but GIANT AMERICAN CARS become the STORAGE UNITS for American wind. You run your HOUSE off your car battery when the wind isn't blowing. The huge American car fleet is America's un-interruptible power

supply.

 

 

 

 

While away from home, you buy American booze, i.e., recycled Iowa corncobs, and even weeds off the side of the road, all enzymatically cracked and turned into white-lightning car fuel that you can DRINK AT TAILGATE PARTIES. And since these grasses fix carbon into the soil (through their roots), THE MORE YOU DRIVE, THE FASTER THE GREENHOUSE EFFECT GOES AWAY!

 

 

 

 

Furthermore, in order to cure the atmosphere quickly, you definitely want to drive a BIG car. A really big American WHALE of a car. You might want to consider dumping your house entirely and moving all your possessions into a giant, booze-fueled, wind-powered Recreational Vehicle.

 

 

 

 

Okay, this isn't a universal solution to climate change.

But it's the first solution I've seen with *American national characteristics.*

 

 

 

 

Call your Congressman now.