McSweeneys Lists

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Fake Samarian Gods Referenced in the Motion Picture Ghostbusters, or Surnames of Professional

Hockey Players.

BY JARED YOUNG

 

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1. Zholtok

2. Torg

3. Slor

4. Bonk

5. Ruutu

6. Zuul

7. Poti

8. Gozer

9. Gretzky

 

Fake Samarian gods: 2, 3, 6, 8

NHL players: 1, 4, 5, 7, 9

 

http://mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/

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I F

C H A R L E S

B U K O W S K I

H A D W R I T T E N

C H I L D R E N ’ S

B O O K S .

 

BY LITSA DREMOUSIS

 

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The Whore Who Snored

 

Why Is Grandpa Heaving?

 

The Years Will Fly Like Hummingbirds and One Gray Day You’ll Die

 

Love Turns to Crap Like a Sandwich

 

The Alley Cat and the Wounded Dog Share Scraps of Bird and Dung

 

Uncle Hank’s Sack of Empties

 

Wishbones Come from Chicken, Harlots Come from Hell

 

The Park Bench Where You Eat Your Lunch Will Be Your Bed Someday

 

Give Up Now

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R E P O R T E D L E G A L C A S E

O P I N I O N S P E R T A I N I N G T O

O R M E N T I O N I N G C O L E S L A W

 

BY JOHN W. VINSON

 

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Lepole v. Long John Silver's, 2003 WestLaw 23100327 (Ohio App. 11 Dist.)

In April 2000, appellant sustained injuries to her teeth and jaws after eating coleslaw which contained a two-inch foreign object at a Long John Silver's restaurant in Streetsboro.

 

Hero Boy, Inc. v. Dell'Orto, 306 A.D.2d 226 (NY App 2002)

In calculating damages that defendants had to pay plaintiffs, defendants' profit from sale of accompaniments such as beverages and coleslaw should have been excluded.

 

Truchan v. Condumex, Inc., 2002 WestLaw 1360403 (Mich. App. 2002)

The Court, "wielding novel legal arguments like a miracle Ginsu knife," reduced the concepts of mutuality, reliance and consideration to "cole slaw."

 

Cooper v. Meijer, Inc., 2001 WL 726797 (Mich.App. 2001)

Plaintiff was walking through a closed checkout lane in defendant's store when he slipped on the remnants of coleslaw that had spilled onto the floor.

 

Thom v. Benson Chevrolet Co., Inc., 759 So.2d 988 (La.App. 5 Cir. 2000)

Ms. Thom comes in four days a week for about three to five hours to make "cole slaw" and some desserts.

 

Kobayashi v. Orion Ventures, Inc., 678 N.E.2d 180 (Mass 2000)

If, as counsel for landlord suggested at oral argument, this case is about "what is a deli," a purist would answer that a deli is a purveyor of central European delicacies such as corned beef, pastrami, brisket, chopped liver, lox, herring, whitefish, cream cheese, sour cream, sour pickles, pickled tongue, knockwurst, potato salad, cole slaw, and borscht.

 

Elias Bros. Restaurants, Inc. v. Treasury Dept., 549 N.W.2d 837 (Mich. App. 1998)

With respect to the food products at issue in the instant case, the record indicates that the preparation of cole slaw, pepper cabbage, health salad, tuna salad, and cranberry relish all involve a similar process consisting of cutting, chopping or dicing the primary ingredients, blending them together in a prepared dressing and packaging the final product.

 

Franklin v. Winn Dixie Raleigh, Inc., 450 S.E.2d 24 (N.C. App. 1992)

Plaintiffs' complaint alleged that on 22 August 1989, while grocery shopping, Mr. Franklin sustained severe and permanent injuries when he slipped on cole slaw lying in an aisle near a cash register at the Winn Dixie.

 

Leno v. Ehli, 339 N.W.2d 92 (Minn. 1985)

The menu for the affair, which was held at the police department pistol range, included potato salad, cole slaw, baked beans, and smoked turkey.

 

Comm. of Revenue v. Applebaums' Food Markets, Inc., 297 N.W.2d 141 (Minn 1982)

Cold salads, beans, cole slaw, etc. are "exempt food."

 

Volk v. Auto-Dine Corp., 177 N.W.2d 525 (N.D. 1978)

The plaintiff, Margaret Volk, in her complaint, for her first cause of action, alleged that the defendant, the Auto-Dine Corporation, used her recipe for cole slaw and advertised and sold cole slaw designated as "Mother Volk's Cole Slaw" in its retail food-dispensing stores.

 

Dickens v. Horn & Hardart Baking Co., 209 A.2d 169 (Del. 1965)

Restaurant manager who left cole-slaw uncovered, transferred it from larger to smaller tins, and did not subject it to continuous inspection designed to disclose presence of foreign objects failed to exercise proper degree of care to prevent appearance of foreign substance in food served to plaintiff.

 

Pearlstein v. Leeds, 145 A.2d 650 (N.J. 1958)

Plaintiff arrived on Saturday afternoon, went shopping with Mrs. Leeds, and that evening made cole slaw and potato salad for the next day's event.