Drink divination

[Double_E]

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

 

Drink: Beer

Personality: Casual, low-maintenance, down to earth.

Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

 

Drink: Blender Drinks

Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying, a pain in the butt.

Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

 

Drink: Mixed Drinks

Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, very picky, knows exactly what she wants.

Your Approach: You won't have to approach her; if she is interested, she'll send you a drink.

 

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel, see below)

Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated yet giggles.

Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

 

Drink: White Zinfandel

Personality: Easy, thinks she is classy and sophisticated, but actually has no clue.

Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is; this should be an easy target.

 

Drink: Shots

Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and is looking to get totally drunk ... and naked.

Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed this evening. Nothing to do but wait. However, be careful not to make her mad!

 

 

Then there is the male addendum. The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

 

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

 

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

 

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

 

Whiskey: He doesn't give a hoot about anything but getting laid.

 

Tequilla: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

 

White Zinfandel: He's gay (and looking to get laid).

[catbirdseat]

See post by Poseur . Ah, Personals. That was a funny thread. Bring back trask.