Peformance enhancing substances!!

[willstrickland]

SIGNS AN ATHLETE IS USING A BANNED SUBSTANCE

 

Gets "psyched" before each competition by banging his head against a locker, although he's on the chess team.

 

Her javelin was shot down by jet fighters.

 

Killed two spectators and a line judge with his forehand lob at this year's French Open.

 

Although a sprinter, he won both the Indy 500 and the Preakness.

 

Swimmer's refusal to trim beard and wax chest costs her valuable seconds in the 100-meter freestyle.

 

His red and yellow jersey reads, "Track Cartel de Colombia."

 

Remainder of high-jump event postponed until he lands.

 

Somehow manages to win the 100-meter butterfly without getting wet.

 

Signs new contract for $6 over 2 million years.

 

Instead of exploding out of the blocks, he just explodes.

 

According to the urine test, he's six-week's pregnant.

 

Breaks his pelvis but insists he can just "walk it off."

 

Has switched her shower song from "I Feel Pretty" to "Old Man River."

 

Forget Nike and Reebok-he's got endorsement deals with Merck and Glaxo.

[Bronco]