The Boredom Effect

[ashw_justin]

Being tied up with family for extended periods makes a climber desperate.

 

I'd been scoping this chimney problem for several years on various visits to the family beach house. Countless opportunities presented themselves but each time my hands involuntarily assumed crimping position, and my stomach muscles clentched in anticipation of another sickening sloper, my ambition was struck down by fear, and threats from various family members. They were just holding me back, stifling the climber spirit inside of me.

 

Finally, after huddling in a corner for hours on end in horror, wishing to cut off these vicious hands possessed by such insatiable bouldering hunger, and reading aloud several of the self-involved bitch-fest monologues of Twight, I gathered the courage to fight back against the demons, to attack the only thing standing between present boredom and future boredom.

 

And so it happened. The sit-start, right off the grass mocking me like little green hypodermic needles. The sideways body lever, the outwardly silent while inwardly deafening primal scream. The highball verging on freesolo as I stared down dizzily at the sea of green far below, embracing my need to fall pathetically back down to The Earth. The final dyno lunge to the pinnacle, and I gazed around at the secret treasures of the High Places. I had conquered yet another boulder problem, and it had conquered me, my hopes to die a gruesome death at the hands of the ultimate mother, shattered in Twight-like despair. Such is the glory and aguish of the boulder no, the boredomer.

 

Edited May 1, 2004 by ashw_justin

[ashw_justin]

...

 

Edited May 1, 2004 by ashw_justin

[cracked]

[ashw_justin]

...

 

Edited May 1, 2004 by ashw_justin

[ashw_justin]

dangit Paul, you mess with my program!!

[cracked]

You need to host the photos somewhere else, so you can post twenty in the same post.

[ashw_justin]

Quiet you, before I bash your head in with a doodoo-filled chalkbag!!

[thelawgoddess]

[cracked]

OMFG! Yikes! I'll shut up now.

 

You own a chalkbag?

 

Stupid snowboarders.