RobBob's gone...thank god -

[msbehavin]

Gentlemen:

I am writing to express my sincere appreciation for the outstanding manner in which your airline handled my so-called friend RobBob’s flight from Seattle through San Francisco to Hilton Head, SC. First of all, I want to compliment you for the fact that RobBob’s flight departed Seattle promptly on schedule. After enduring his nagging presence in my home for two weeks, the last thing I wanted to have happen was a delay of even a few minutes on his departure. Secondly, thank you for overbooking his connecting flight in San Francisco, thus causing an approximately 30-minute delay in its departure. RobBob, having worked diligently for many years to develop a neurotic personality, becomes extremely agitated whenever his plans are subjected to the slightest interference from forces outside his control. I wish I could have seen his reaction when he found himself solicited in the men's bathroom. Once the flight departed, an announcement was made regarding the weather somewhere over the Midwest, forcing a slight change of course. Since RobBob is not overly fond of flying to begin with, this announcement really puckered him up, probably convincing him that the aircraft was in fact being hijacked and that flight personnel were fabricating the whole story. Upon landing in Hilton Head, RobBob discovered that his luggage had somehow wound up in Denver. By now, he was beside herself. The baggage was delivered to his home the following night at 11:00 p.m., requiring him to get out of bed to accept delivery. He then discovered that all the glass bottles in his soft overnight bag (which he checked, instead of carrying on board as I had suggested) were smashed. My congratulations, gentlemen, on a brilliant stroke of poetic justice. I fully realize that many of the incidents for which I am expressing my gratitude were not intentional and not the sort of thing in which airlines like to take pride. Furthermore, having enjoyed truly outstanding service on your airline on the many times I have flown with you, I know that such incidents are not characteristic of Delta Airlines. Given, however, that all major airlines experience such minor "glitches" from time to time, I hope you will take comfort in the knowledge that they could not have been inflicted upon a more deserving individual. Immediately prior to making this flight, this man had spent two weeks criticizing, meddling, nagging and otherwise abusing his status as a guest in my household, all of which I bore in the firm conviction that a just Deity would someday extract retribution. Delta should take great pride in the realization that the Great Jehovah, who, throughout the Old Testament again and again lifted up the finest from among the Children of Israel to smite the Philistines and other obnoxious types, clearly would choose only the finest airline to serve as the instrument of His divine vengeance. I can assure you that as a result of your handling of RobBob (who undoubtedly will be extremely reluctant to ever fly out to visit me again), I will choose Delta whenever possible for my future travel plans. Again, my heartfelt appreciation for a job well done.

Sincerely,

msbehavin

[RobBob]

Nice, Trask, but first let me assure our kind readers that I did NOT come out to visit you. Minx paid for my ticket and we just happened to run into you at the dungeon. I am wondering how you happened to know about my love-hate relationship with Delta Airlines, which has resulted in my sending regular delta flight TRs to senior management. As far as Hilton Head, I'm a southerner, but not that far south. That's down there where Gullah is still spoken, voodoo practiced, and Bill Clinton still runs the boo.

 

Yur Friend,

RB