REPENT!!

[toptimmy]

Our Lager,which art in barrels,

Hallowed be thy Drink.

Thy will be Drunk

At home as it is in the tavern.

Give us this day our foamy Head,

and forgive us our spillage

as we forgive those who spill against us.

And lead us not into incarceration,

But deliver us from hangovers.

For thine is the porter the ale and the lager.

 

Amen

 

[EWolfe]

Shouldn't that be titled "REPINT!" ?

[catbirdseat]

Jock, the painter, often would thin his paint so it would go further. So when the Church decided to do some deferred maintenance, Jock was able to put in the low bid, and got the job. As always, he thinned his paint way down with turpentine.

 

One day while he was up on the scaffolding -- the job almost finished -- he heard a horrendous clap of thunder, and the sky opened.

 

The downpour washed the thinned paint off the church and knocked Jock off his scaffold and onto the lawn among the gravestones and puddles of thinned and worthless paint.

 

Jock knew this was a warning from the Almighty, so he got on his knees and cried: “Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?”

 

And from the thunder, a mighty voice: “REPAINT! AND THIN NO MORE!”

 

[EWolfe]