EdsPans

did i not admit that i'm a "n00b" when i asked a "question," indicating that i don't know as much about the issue as i'd like to? sorry you hate learning so much. not sure plato or dali would approve.

Pee corrodes my desire to ever touch a sling that's been peed on though. Does that count?

Wow, this is awesome. A bunch of guys who claim that all the women in their lives use these but not a single primary source, some guys who seem a little too into the whole pee thing, and a lady who tells me to suck it up (ps lady: your leg-strap technique makes a crapload of sense in my head, but I just feel like I would have tried that were it possible with my harness! Never fear though, it's consciously on the list now.). Somehow not quite the breakdown I was expecting. But awesome nonetheless. But maybe I'll have to keep looking into the plastic penii, if you all are claiming that they're great. I'm still kind of grossed out though. And G-spotter, thanks for your kind thought that maybe I'm internet-savvy enough to know how to get paid by the click, but truly I just had no confidence that I could write any description as funny as the actual site itself, what with its purple background and happy, smiling pee-ers. I'll take down the link though, if it'd make you more comfortable. To the man with the wife: it's not actually that hard, (assuming, you know, you're not wearing a harness. And stuff.). Just tell her to practice once in the backyard, close to a nice shower in case of catastrophe. She'll see that it's really not a big deal; pee doesn't so much touch any part of my legs, nor boots. It merely involves some squatting with an idaho-ian wide stance, some holding out of the way, and some trying to pee downhill. Do you want me to draw a diagram? Because I completely will. Some classy people might not love it though. (Anyone else have the urge to get a group of girls together, walk into some bar men's room with a trough, pull out our plastic peeing devices and go at it? We'd make the WWeek for sure.)

I'm going to preface this by saying that I don't mind peeing in public. A trail in the gorge? Sure! Somewhere on my old college campus at night? I'm practically doin it right now! At the crag? Well I'd LOVE to, but there's this little thing called I-Have-To-Take-My-Harness-All-The-Way-Off-In-Order-To-Drop-Trou-Unless-I-Think-It's-Cool-To-Wear-A-Skirt-Climbing (hint: I don't). Seriously, this bugs me. It means I have to go farther away from the wall, hide more deeply in the foliage/bugs/rabid squirrel dens because it'll take me several full minutes to un-double-back, make sure I'm not accidentally peeing on and corroding some important sling, re-double-back, etc. So Question #1 is: what do other ladies out there do? Besides just suck it up and not complain, because that one I know, and I've gotta say it kinda sucks. In my own personal Search for Answers, Internet told me about a variety of lady-projectile-peeing devices -- yeah, that's right, little plastic penises. They even come in pink! At first I scorned them, then I read the testimonials about my very harness predicament, and I had a brief moment of clarity in which I decided that I would HAVE that plastic penis, goddamnit! Then I once again went over the "I'd have to carry the plastic penis home with me after I've used it" issue, and regained some sanity. So Question #2, for men and women alike: thoughts? Would you use this thing? If you saw someone using it, say at a crag, would you call the police? Just checkin. Question #3: The obvious other option is the Open-Crotch climbing pants. Like the fly unzips ALLLLL the way, for optimal squattage. As far as I know these don't yet exist, but it's admittedly kind of difficult to google. Last time I tried I just ended up with my mouse hovering over the "Confirm Plastic Penis Purchase" button and to be honest I'm not excited to go that route again soon. So I put it to you, ladies of climbing: would you wear these? Do they actually already exist? Have you home-sewn your own (we're a renaissance bunch)? Can I write to a gear company and promise that if they make these pants, my double-blind, controlled, public message board poll indicates that people will buy them like mad? Assuming they're suitably stylish and non-abraisive in the super-fly area? Okay, cool then. Thank you and good night.