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How hard would Jesus climb?


freeclimb9

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jesus is a total sport fag. He moondances all over the 5.14 crimpers and snakes right up the 5.12 slabs. You forget-the guy can walk on water in sandals-imagine what he does in gym slippers.

Of course his so-called father gave him all these powers-he's never tried a day in his life. In fact the only reason he's not pushing 5.16 is that he feels bad for Sharma and isn't "about competitive climbing". "It's between myself and rock," he whines. He does a lot of Yoga too, but I think that's related to post-crucifixion recovery an shit.

He couldn't stare down a fire breathing crack that lies open to the fiery depths of Hell like me though, he's a namby robe-wearin' holier than thou Smith type. madgo_ron.gif

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My guess is that he wouldn't climb at all. The concept of "leisure time" would not be invented for another 1,800 years. Even if it were, it wouldn't have been considered pleasureable. Climbing was somthing one did if a pack of wild dogs was chasing you. Credit the Brits, "mad dogs and Englishment in the noon day sun", sort of thing.

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My guess is that he wouldn't climb at all. The concept of "leisure time" would not be invented for another 1,800 years. Even if it were, it wouldn't have been considered pleasureable. Climbing was somthing one did if a pack of wild dogs was chasing you. Credit the Brits, "mad dogs and Englishment in the noon day sun", sort of thing.

No way, dood. Jesus was hip to what was happening. Worldwide. He even visited the Americas after he got resurrected, if Joseph Smith was right. And, since many New World cultures worshipped mountains and made early ascents, I'm thinking he'd be down with climbing. Brits decidedly did not invent climbing. And the Frogs were still fucking on the compost heap while priests led ascents in South America.

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So, you guys think there's good climbing in Hell? I mean, the ice climbing is obviously going to be out of form, and drippy at best (except for that frozen ring in the middle, if Dante's TR is right). But what about the other rings? Probably some good buildering at least. pitty.gif

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