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A Joke


allthumbs

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A penguin was driving through the desert when his car broke down. So

he waddled to the nearest phone to call AAA.

 

His car was quickly towed to the nearest garage where the mechanic

told him he would need a couple of hours to check out the car. The

penguin, being a good natured bird, didn't complain but wandered off

to find the closest supermarket. He really needed to cool down from

all that heat too!

 

He proceeded to the frozen foods section and hung out near the fish

sticks. After an hour he got into the freezer next to the vanilla ice

cream. He just couldn't help himself since it was his favorite flavor

and so nice and cool... he ended up eating several gallons. Then he

noticed the time so he waddled back to the garage covered in ice

cream.

 

The mechanic walked over to him wiping his hands and shaking his head

saying, "It looks like you blew a seal."

 

Blushing, the penguin said, "Oh no! It's just ice cream."

 

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That reminds me of the old parrot joke:

 

Jimmy received a parrot for Christmas. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary.

 

Every other word was an expletive; those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude. Jimmy tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words, playing soft music... anything he could think of. Nothing worked.

 

He yelled at the bird, and the bird got worse. He shook the bird, and the bird got madder and more rude.

 

Finally, in a moment of desperation, Jimmy put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the bird swearing, squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet.

 

Jimmy was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird, and quickly opened the freezer door.

 

The parrot calmly stepped out onto Jimmy's extended arm and said, "I'm sorry that I offended you with my language and my actions, and I ask your forgiveness. I will endeavor to correct my behavior".

 

Jimmy was astounded at the changes in the bird's attitude and was about to ask what had changed him, when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the Chicken did?"

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you might be outta business soon trask:

 

" Florida-based Drink Safe Technologies has produced a new way to help prevent date rape via the use of a coaster. The new test coasters boast the ability to detect two widely used date-rape drugs, gamma-hydroxybutyerate (GHB) and ketamine, within the contents of a drink.

 

Within 30 seconds, a coaster dotted with a sample of the suspected beverage will turn a dark blue if tested positively for the debilitating drugs. College campuses, youth clubs and even bars are beginning to pass out these coasters nationwide. "

 

bigdrink.gifcantfocus.gifsmileysex5.gif

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you might be outta business soon trask:

 

" Florida-based Drink Safe Technologies has produced a new way to help prevent date rape via the use of a coaster. The new test coasters boast the ability to detect two widely used date-rape drugs, gamma-hydroxybutyerate (GHB) and ketamine, within the contents of a drink.

 

Within 30 seconds, a coaster dotted with a sample of the suspected beverage will turn a dark blue if tested positively for the debilitating drugs. College campuses, youth clubs and even bars are beginning to pass out these coasters nationwide. "

 

bigdrink.gifcantfocus.gifsmileysex5.gif

 

If it wasn't for that stuff trask would never have had an x-wife hahaha.gif

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