WhippersAndTears Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 THE CLASSIC - by Jesse James (dedicated to the Columbia Buttress, Revelstoke) The guidebook marked it ‘classic’ The FA called it ‘boss’ Above me on the starting pitch – One hundred feet of choss. My parter froze with mouth agape The looseness gave him pause Handing him the rack I grinned ‘Ain’t nothing but some moss.’ Halfway up that awful pitch He pulled a piece of choss Tumbling down the rotten face His words were at a loss. The guidebook marked it ‘classic’ The FA called it ‘boss’ Above me on the second pitch – One hundred feet of choss. I grabbed the rack and charged that crack And hollared down to Ross ‘Watch me, dude, this block moves’ Then BAM! Down went man and rope and choss. We talked about retreating as our hearts were wildly beating Bad luck is one of Murphy’s laws. I thought ‘maybe it gets better’ as I crawled up to the station with trembling hands and chattering jaws. The guidebook marked it ‘classic’ The FA called it ‘boss’ Above me on the final pitch – Two hundred feet of choss. Suddenly I felt a shaking as of something smartly breaking Pulling on a flake nearly fifteen feet across Flying backwards in the air I screamed ‘This route has been my albatross.’ (for more climbing poems, humor, trip reports, beta and pictures visit http://WhippersAndTears.com) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OlympicMtnBoy Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 Cool, thanks for sharing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted May 21, 2015 Share Posted May 21, 2015 So you wimped out on another climb attempt huh "Jesse"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacob Smith Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 You should look up Michael Borghoff's "Rock Climber's Ballad." Similar mix of humor and terror. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 aid climbers prefer free verse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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