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Trad Climbers Land The Babes!


Dwayner

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Hey Sporto's!

When you're done picking the pea-gravel out of your pants from the gym floor where you've been sequence-miming that special "project", consider for a moment the following truism:

 

TRAD CLIMBERS LAND THE BABES!

 

Consider the following evidence:

 

jennie_puppets.jpg

 

Why?

Because we got better stories to tell, we look better because we're aerobically healthy, and our lungs aren't full of chalk so we don't sound like we been smokin' three packs a day for the last twenty years.

Uh huh.....!!!!

 

Yes, that is me on the left. (with the red hair).

 

- Dwayner, who knows. bigdrink.gifbigdrink.gifbigdrink.gif

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Dang, Miss Allison...scrapin' hard fer controversy this mornin', ain't we! Grammar-police hits spray? C'mon! Wuzzup wid that? Orthographic constable!

balloons.jpg

 

- Dwayner, pictured in the middle above, with a trad-lovin' honey on the right, and a sport-climber on the left who's is not only NOT gonna get any attention from the young lady, but he's actually been trying to get an invitation to her apartment so he can check for change under the sofa cushion to help save up for another quick-draw. Yah...that's what that guy's all about. Finding a nickel or dime or two, he'll make some rude excuse to leave (usually something to do with having bad gas), will abruptly leave, and go to the rock gym or some such to look for the next "change-hoarding" target who might have a few coins that can be surreptitiously scrounged before the next gas attack. A schemer with a plan. Another dozen girls and he might have enough quick-draws to ride his bike to that North Bend Shangri-La known as Exit 38...where he'll try to hone in on your girlfriend and snag a toprope on one of the many world-class desperation routes the place is so noted for. Also, note the guys shirt, it matches his spandex tights. My conservative blue smock, on the other hand, is always a favorite with the ladies. In short, the trad climbers land the babes. Sport-climbers have bad gas and meet girls to scrouge sofa-change for quick-draws.

 

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My apologies for the grammar ranting. I am working a sort of writing project right now, and it seems to be making me a little tiny bit loopy. I may be working a little bit too hard. confused.gif

 

As far as Trask's ranting, well, it's personal, inaccurate, and should probably just be ignored. This too shall pass.

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  • 9 months later...
Dwayner said:

Dang, Miss Allison...scrapin' hard fer controversy this mornin', ain't we! Grammar-police hits spray? C'mon! Wuzzup wid that? Orthographic constable!

balloons.jpg

 

- Dwayner, pictured in the middle above, with a trad-lovin' honey on the right, and a sport-climber on the left who's is not only NOT gonna get any attention from the young lady, but he's actually been trying to get an invitation to her apartment so he can check for change under the sofa cushion to help save up for another quick-draw. Yah...that's what that guy's all about. Finding a nickel or dime or two, he'll make some rude excuse to leave (usually something to do with having bad gas), will abruptly leave, and go to the rock gym or some such to look for the next "change-hoarding" target who might have a few coins that can be surreptitiously scrounged before the next gas attack. A schemer with a plan. Another dozen girls and he might have enough quick-draws to ride his bike to that North Bend Shangri-La known as Exit 38...where he'll try to hone in on your girlfriend and snag a toprope on one of the many world-class desperation routes the place is so noted for. Also, note the guys shirt, it matches his spandex tights. My conservative blue smock, on the other hand, is always a favorite with the ladies. In short, the trad climbers land the babes. Sport-climbers have bad gas and meet girls to scrouge sofa-change for quick-draws.

 

This is hilarious. Bring back Dwayner!

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