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Wet Tee Shirt Contest


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And you, my friend, are neither clever nor funny.

Hello capitalist!

It is called joke miss pc quiche eater.

 

Your're an offensive little fuck.

 

I belive someone misinformed you, an offensive large fuck would be more appropriate.

 

I thought I'd inform you before you go through the effort of creating additional characters based on some other racist stereotype.

 

 

Too late, how about

Howard the Jew

Sheila the slut

Leroy the angry black

Gary the gay

Lisa the lesbian

jkassidy the crack whore

 

Did I leave anyone out?

Thank you for allowing me to post on American web site.

 

Verly sorry, forgot one of my character, Randy the retard.

 

 

Edited by Harry_Pi
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pope said:

For a great Zappa site click:FZ lives here

 

maestro2.jpg

 

The fur trapper was pretty fucked up.

He had just been stomped upon and recited to by the entire contents of this audience.

And you know what that can do to a guy who is wearing a parka.

So he gets up, looks around, looks around again, and looks around again.

And then he says.

And you can sing along if you know the words.

I cant see.

I cant see.

I cant see.

I cant see.

He took a dog doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye.

He took a dog doo snow cone and stuffed in my other eye.

And the huskey wee wee, I mean the doogie wee wee has blinded me.

Great googlie mooglie.

I cant see, temporarily.

 

 

 

 

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Ned_Flanders said:

pope said:

For a great Zappa site click:FZ lives here

 

maestro2.jpg

 

The fur trapper was pretty fucked up.

He had just been stomped upon and recited to by the entire contents of this audience.

And you know what that can do to a guy who is wearing a parka.

So he gets up, looks around, looks around again, and looks around again.

And then he says.

And you can sing along if you know the words.

I cant see.

I cant see.

I cant see.

I cant see.

He took a dog doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye.

He took a dog doo snow cone and stuffed in my other eye.

And the huskey wee wee, I mean the doogie wee wee has blinded me.

Great googlie mooglie.

I cant see, temporarily.

 

 

 

 

 

Hey there, people, I'm Bobby Brown

They say I'm the cutest boy in town

My car is fast, my teeth is shiney

I tell all the girls they can kiss my heinie

Here I am at a famous school

I'm dressin' sharp 'n' I'm

actin' cool

I got a cheerleader here wants to help with my paper

Let her do all the work 'n' maybe later I'll rape her

 

Oh God I am the American dream

I do not think I'm too extreme

An' I'm a handsome sonofabitch

I'm gonna get a good job 'n' be real rich

 

(get a good

get a good

get a good

get a good job)

 

Women's Liberation

Came creepin' across the nation

I tell you people I was not ready

When I fucked this dyke by the name of Freddie

She made a little speech then,

Aw, she tried to make me say "when"

She had my balls in a vice, but she left the dick

I guess it's still hooked on, but now it shoots too quick

 

Oh God I am the American dream

But now I smell like Vaseline

An' I'm a miserable sonofabitch

Am I a boy or a lady...I don't know which

 

(I wonder wonder

wonder wonder)

 

So I went out 'n' bought me a leisure suit

I jingle my change, but I'm still kinda cute

Got a job doin' radio promo

An' none of the jocks can even tell I'm a homo

Eventually me 'n' a friend

Sorta drifted along into S&M

I can take about an hour on the tower of power

'Long as I gets a little golden shower

 

Oh God I am the American dream

With a spindle up my butt till it makes me scream

An' I'll do anything to get ahead

I lay awake nights sayin', "Thank you, Fred!"

Oh God, oh God, I'm so fantastic!

Thanks to Freddie, I'm a sexual spastic

And my name is Bobby Brown

Watch me now, I'm goin down,

And my name is Bobby Brown

Watch me now, I'm goin down, etc

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Disco Boy

Run to the toilet, honey,

Comb your hair

 

Disco Boy

Pucker yer lip,

'N check yer shoulder,

'Cause some dandruff might be Hidin' there!

 

Disco Boy,

You're the DISCO KING!

Aw, the Disco-Thing

Made you think

Someday,

That you Just might GO SOMEWHERE!

 

Disco Girl!

You're 'out-a-site'!

You need a Disco Boy

To treat you right

He'll do a little dance;

Take you home tonight

(Leave his hair alone, But you can kiss his comb)

 

Disco Boy!

Run to the toilet boy,

'N comb your hair

 

Disco Boy!

Shake it more than three times 'n yer playin' with it

(WOW!)

While yer standin' there!

 

Disco Boy!

Do the Bump every night, 'til the Disco Girl

Who's REALLY RIGHT

Gonna fall for yer line,

'N feed you a box fulla Chicken Delight!

 

Disco chit-chat; so demure!

Pump that booty all across the floor!

A disco drink

A disco wink

"You never go doody!"

(That's what you think)

"You never go doody!"

(That's what you think)

"You never go doody!"

(That's what you think)

 

Doody

Ah, go doody

Doody

You never go doody

Doody

You never go doody

Doody

You never go doody

Doody

You never go doody

Ah, baby, doody

No doody

Doody

Ah, baby, doody

 

Disco Boy!

You got one more chance

To comb your hair again

 

Disco Boy!

They're closin' the bar,

And she's leavin' with your friend!

 

Disco Boy,

That's the way it goes,

So wipe your nose,

'N try it again,

To get a little laid tomorrow!

 

Disco Boy,

No one understands,

But thank THE LORD

That you still got hands

To help you do that jerkin' that'll

Blot out yer Disco Sorrow!

 

It's Disco Love tonight

Make sure you look all right

It's Disco Love tonight

Make sure you look all right

 

 

 

 

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Ned_Flanders said:

A disco drink

A disco wink

"You never go doody!"

(That's what you think)

"You never go doody!"

(That's what you think)

"You never go doody!"

(That's what you think)

 

Doody

Ah, go doody

Doody

You never go doody

Doody

You never go doody

Doody

You never go doody

Doody

You never go doody

Ah, baby, doody

No doody

Doody

Ah, baby, doody

 

 

Now that is the marriage of art and excellence! I enjoy this one (off Joe's Garage):

 

Father Riley B. Jones:

This is the story 'bout

Bald-Headed John

 

Former Execs:

Dong work for Yuda,

Dong, Dong

 

Father Riley B. Jones:

He talks a lot 'n' it's

usually wrong

 

Former Execs:

Dong work for Yuda,

Dong, Dong

 

Father Riley B. Jones:

He said Dong

was Wong,

'N Wong was Kong

'N Dong work for

Yuda,

'N John was wrong

 

Former Execs:

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

Dong work for Yuda

Dong, Dong

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

He said Dong

was Wong

And Wong was Kong

And Dong was Gong

'N John was wrong

 

Father Riley B. Jones:

John's got a sausage

Yeh man

John's got a sausage

Yeh man

John's got a sausage

that'll make you fart

John's got a sausage

that'll break

your heart

Make you fart

And break your heart

Don't bend over

if you are smart

He took a little walk

to the weenie stand

John's got a sausage

Yeh man

A great big weenie

in both his hands

John's got a sausage

Yeh man

He sucked on the end

'til the mustard squirt

He said, "Ya'll stand

back 'cause you

might get hurt"

 

Former Execs:

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

John's got a sausage

Yeh man

 

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

He said Dong

was Wong

Wong was Kong

Kong was Gong

'N John was wrong

 

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

 

Bald-Headed John:

Make way for the

iron shaschige

 

Former Execs:

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

 

Bald-Headed John:

I need a dozen towels

so the boys can take

a shower

 

Former Execs:

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

 

Bald-Headed John:

Bartender, bring me

a colada and milk

 

Former Execs:

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

 

Bald-Headed John:

Well, on second thought,

make that a water...

HtO

 

Former Execs:

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

 

Bald-Headed John:

Falcum...

Take me to the falcum!

 

Former Execs:

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

 

Bald-Headed John:

I wave my bags

Did you wave your'n

 

Former Execs:

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

 

Bald-Headed John:

Well how much

did they wave?

 

Former Execs:

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

 

Bald-Headed John:

Ah'm almost two

kilometers tall

 

Former Execs:

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

 

Bald-Headed John:

This girl must be

praketing richcraft

 

Former Execs:

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

 

Bald-Headed John:

Don't worry about

the faggot

I'll take care of

the faggot

 

Former Execs:

Sorry John

Sorry better

Try it again

 

Try it again,

Try it again

Try, try, try again...

etc., etc., etc.

 

Bald-Headed John:

Your Pomona is

very extinct...

Yeah, I studied with

the Dong of Tokyo

'N also with the

oriental Kato...

My body contain

uh water

I just loves the way

these Copenhagens

talks!

Driver, McDoodle...

Sausage

Salima

Salami

That looks like that

stuff that Freckles

lets out

Once a mumfth...

 

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