olyclimber Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Hello, I would like to ask the CC.com braintrust if they know of a way to neutralize hot sauce so that (after you've eaten it) it doesn't burn on the way out. Yes, I could google this, but I prefer to ask here anyway. This is a real issue for me...I love hot sauces, but in the past 5 years or so my body doesn't seem to work as well as it does in breaking down things or whatever and EVERY FUCKING TIME it burns my ass on the way out. Pleez help with your genius ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 FYI, I want to stay away from solutions that involves me putting anything up my butt. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 Also, will the Seahawks win the superbowel this year? Is a jinx to ask this question? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 stop being so bashful. grow a set and answer my damn questions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaskadskyjKozak Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Â Drink more tequila Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rob Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 calcium carbonate tablets (tums, etc) will help -- but only IMMEDIATELY after eating the spicy food. Once the acid leaves your stomach it's too late and the burn is on its way to your asshole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottP Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 From the PoopReport... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Poop in a Sitz-bath tub full of milk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevbone Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Stop eating hot sauces Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rob Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Stop eating hot sauces  worst. advice. ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaskadskyjKozak Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Â What would Eddie Van Halen do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 From the PoopReport... Â thanks for this valuable resource Scott. Â kev, thanks for nothin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billcoe Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 (edited) ...EVERY FUCKING TIME it burns my ass on the way out. Pleez help with your genius ideas. Â HELLO, PLEASE TO BE TRYING 2 NEW THINGS GOOD LUCK I SUGGEST THE LARGE SIZE FOR YOU SORRY BUT LARGE SIZE IS LARGE PICTURE TOO! Â Â Edited September 5, 2012 by Feck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 "the starfish" "the ring of fire" Â Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 thanks bill, but aside from totally f'ing up the formatting on my incredible thread, you managed to completely disregard my instructions. i said i'm not sticking anything up my pooper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olyclimber Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 Was out at Lopez a month ago or so and came across a bottle of this stuff: Â http://www.chicaoji.com/ Â It isn't super ghost chili hot or anything...its super tasty though. Just a little on a chip...so good. But then the next day I'm just blazing on the toilet. So I ordered a big bottle of it, I guess I'll have to start trying all the things mentioned on that poop blog to see if I can reduce the pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rob Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 maybe you could try eating the petroleum jelly a few minutes before the hot stuff, that way it lubricates your ass on the way out before the burning comes. Â thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akhalteke Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 thanks bill, but aside from totally f'ing up the formatting on my incredible thread, you managed to completely disregard my instructions. i said i'm not sticking anything up my pooper. Â To be fair to Bill, you didn't say anything about IN your shitter. I would take the aforementioned advice and drink copious amounts of tequila so the burn is unnoticeable. The burn in your throat, well that could be another problem entirely... perhaps fixed by putting hot sauce in your shitter? Could work.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete_H Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 i said i'm not sticking anything up my pooper. Â Huh. Not what you said last night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lummox Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Ice cream. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-spotter Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 maybe you could try eating the petroleum jelly a few minutes before the hot stuff, that way it lubricates your ass on the way out before the burning comes. thoughts?  maybe he could chug a couple shots of the K-Y cooling lotion as a chaser Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billcoe Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 wON'T TH EFORMATTING GO NORMAL ON TH ENEXT PAGE? aNYONE WANT TO GO FOR THE PAGETOP AND SEE IF IT GOES ALL NORMAL FORMATING? Â oPPS. cAPS LOCK ON! WOOT! Â PS, EATTING IT IS AN INTERESTING THOUGHT WE SHOULD DO SOME ANIMAL TESTING. Â OMG, I PUT IN "DOG EATTING VASOLINE" AND GET STEPAHAN MARLBURY TH EBALL PlAYER NOSHIN THE GREASE: HERE'S SOME NBA PRO INSPIRATION FER YA OLY! Â http://www.tmz.com/2009/07/27/stephon-marbury-eats-vaseline-oprah-video/ Â ps, if it isn't clear or obvious yet, I have no idea what to do to mitigate the burn......... Â Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaskadskyjKozak Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012  Bill - +1 on what OlyClimber said - thanks a bunch for fucking up the format with your stupid pic  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlpineK Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Sorry folks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buckaroo Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 One thing about chile is you have to chew it down to very small bits. Any larger chunks are going to give you trouble. Â You may have digestion issues like some nutrient or bacteria deficiency. Â Yogurt and bananas but it has to be soon after. Milk obviously but milk has it's own digestion problems and isn't that great for you anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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